5 am wake up

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[Post New]09/10/2020 08:53
quote
Anonymous
Our 10 month old is finally sleeping through the night ... but now is waking up too early! He'll almost always wake up between 4:45 and 5:15. We've tried just letting him fuss in the hopes that he'll go back to sleep, but we haven't had much success (ie, he'll be fussing for 30 minutes and at that point we go in). About 10% of the time, he'll sleep for another hour after we give him a bottle. Usually, though, he'll have the bottle and then just be up for the day. He takes his first nap around 10 (usually 1.5 hours), his second nap around 2:30 (usually an hour), and goes to bed between 7 and 7:30. We've tried pushing bed time later but he's so tried by then that it's pretty difficult/miserable -- lots of crying and needing to be held constantly, which is hard because we're also trying to put our 4 year old to bed at that time.

Is this just a phase he'll grow out of? Do we need to change his sleep schedule? Something else? Or are we just stuck with this absurd wake up time into the indefinite future?
[Post New]09/10/2020 09:44
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jsmith123
Member Offline
I know a lot of kids sleep 11-12 hours over night, but my kids were always more like 10 - 10.5. So if we wanted a 6 am wakeup, we had to put them to bed at 8. We always heard and tried the whole "put them to bed earlier and they sleep longer" thing, but all that ever did was give us an earlier wakeup.

A typical schedule at this age is the "2-3-4" schedule, where kids are awake for 2 hours after initial wake up, 3 hours between naps, and then 4 hours before bedtime. But my kids never slept 15 hours or whatever that works out to, so for us it was more like 3-3-4

One thing I noticed in your schedule is that your DS is going 5 hours in the morning before the first nap. What if you tried to move that nap up to 9? And then the second nap around 1? Maybe he'll do longer naps and then will be able to last a little longer in the evening for a later bed time.
[Post New]09/10/2020 09:45
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jsmith123
Member Offline
Oh, and it's definitely a phase. Pretty much everything at this age is a phase!
[Post New]09/10/2020 10:41
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Anonymous
jsmith123 wrote:I know a lot of kids sleep 11-12 hours over night, but my kids were always more like 10 - 10.5. So if we wanted a 6 am wakeup, we had to put them to bed at 8. We always heard and tried the whole "put them to bed earlier and they sleep longer" thing, but all that ever did was give us an earlier wakeup.

A typical schedule at this age is the "2-3-4" schedule, where kids are awake for 2 hours after initial wake up, 3 hours between naps, and then 4 hours before bedtime. But my kids never slept 15 hours or whatever that works out to, so for us it was more like 3-3-4

One thing I noticed in your schedule is that your DS is going 5 hours in the morning before the first nap. What if you tried to move that nap up to 9? And then the second nap around 1? Maybe he'll do longer naps and then will be able to last a little longer in the evening for a later bed time.


I agree with PP. A 3/3.5/4 schedule is probably more age appropriate. But don’t keep moving nap 1 up to accommodate early wakes or you’ll just keep that cycle going.
[Post New]09/10/2020 10:43
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Anonymous
It's a phase! Give it "the pause," then follow his cues. He'll tell and show you what he needs.

Some days, he might fuss a bit and go back to sleep. Others, he'll take a bottle and go back to sleep. Still other days, the bottle will be the start of a new day.

Continue to follow his cues, and try to put him down whenever he seems sleepy. Eventually, his nap and night sleep will really solidify into a schedule you can live with. In the meantime, keep the coffee ready, rest when you can, and enjoy the snuggles.
[Post New]09/10/2020 10:51
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
jsmith123 wrote:I know a lot of kids sleep 11-12 hours over night, but my kids were always more like 10 - 10.5. So if we wanted a 6 am wakeup, we had to put them to bed at 8. We always heard and tried the whole "put them to bed earlier and they sleep longer" thing, but all that ever did was give us an earlier wakeup.

A typical schedule at this age is the "2-3-4" schedule, where kids are awake for 2 hours after initial wake up, 3 hours between naps, and then 4 hours before bedtime. But my kids never slept 15 hours or whatever that works out to, so for us it was more like 3-3-4

One thing I noticed in your schedule is that your DS is going 5 hours in the morning before the first nap. What if you tried to move that nap up to 9? And then the second nap around 1? Maybe he'll do longer naps and then will be able to last a little longer in the evening for a later bed time.


I agree with PP. A 3/3.5/4 schedule is probably more age appropriate. But don’t keep moving nap 1 up to accommodate early wakes or you’ll just keep that cycle going.


OP here. Thanks for the tips!! Yes, the reason I have been keeping him up until 10 is because I read somewhere that you should try to keep baby awake for 3 hours past the desired wake up time, not actual wake up time. Since ideally he would wake up at 7, we have been doing 10 am naps. Obviously not working so I'll start naps a bit earlier and see how that goes.
[Post New]09/10/2020 10:53
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Anonymous
OP, there are really great books out there by infant sleep experts.

"Happiest Baby Guide to Sleep," Dr. Harvey Karp

Polly Moore, something like "The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Guide"

"The Sleep Lady's Goodnight, Sleep Tight" by Kim West
[Post New]09/10/2020 11:01
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, there are really great books out there by infant sleep experts.

"Happiest Baby Guide to Sleep," Dr. Harvey Karp

Polly Moore, something like "The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Guide"

"The Sleep Lady's Goodnight, Sleep Tight" by Kim West


I really should read some ... but every time I pick up a book, I fall asleep within 10 minutes. Because this is such a discreet question (though maybe it's not and part of some larger problems with our sleep schedule?), was hoping I could get some tips before doing a deep dive.
[Post New]09/10/2020 11:03
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, there are really great books out there by infant sleep experts.

"Happiest Baby Guide to Sleep," Dr. Harvey Karp

Polly Moore, something like "The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Guide"

"The Sleep Lady's Goodnight, Sleep Tight" by Kim West


I really should read some ... but every time I pick up a book, I fall asleep within 10 minutes. Because this is such a discreet question (though maybe it's not and part of some larger problems with our sleep schedule?), was hoping I could get some tips before doing a deep dive.


I understand. I just fear you may run into some frankly wrong conventional wisdom, such as keeping a baby up to promote longer sleep later. That's actually literally the opposite of how baby sleep works. A baby who is forced to miss a nap will not just sleep later at night; they NEED the nap sleep to naturally develop longer night sleep.
[Post New]09/10/2020 11:51
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
jsmith123 wrote:I know a lot of kids sleep 11-12 hours over night, but my kids were always more like 10 - 10.5. So if we wanted a 6 am wakeup, we had to put them to bed at 8. We always heard and tried the whole "put them to bed earlier and they sleep longer" thing, but all that ever did was give us an earlier wakeup.

A typical schedule at this age is the "2-3-4" schedule, where kids are awake for 2 hours after initial wake up, 3 hours between naps, and then 4 hours before bedtime. But my kids never slept 15 hours or whatever that works out to, so for us it was more like 3-3-4

One thing I noticed in your schedule is that your DS is going 5 hours in the morning before the first nap. What if you tried to move that nap up to 9? And then the second nap around 1? Maybe he'll do longer naps and then will be able to last a little longer in the evening for a later bed time.


I agree with PP. A 3/3.5/4 schedule is probably more age appropriate. But don’t keep moving nap 1 up to accommodate early wakes or you’ll just keep that cycle going.


OP here. Thanks for the tips!! Yes, the reason I have been keeping him up until 10 is because I read somewhere that you should try to keep baby awake for 3 hours past the desired wake up time, not actual wake up time. Since ideally he would wake up at 7, we have been doing 10 am naps. Obviously not working so I'll start naps a bit earlier and see how that goes.


What time do you want baby to wake each day? 7? Then you’ll want nap 1 to start at 10. 6? Then you’ll want nap 1 to start at 9. If baby keeps waking up super early and can’t hang until 10 then you can meet him in the middle at like 9:30. But not pushing for that more desired first nap time, baby will just keep waking before you’d like each day. There’s only so much sleep he’ll want in 24 hours. It’s hard! I know! I’m in the cycle now myself.
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