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babies and toddlers at baby showers
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Anonymous
| What is the etiquette? |
Anonymous
| In my experience, there are often babies & toddlers in attendance, though it's still polite to check with the hostess before assuming. |
Anonymous
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I have never been to a shower that excluded babies/toddlers, but you should always ask ahead of time.
(I would love to come to the shower. By the way, I have a 10 month old-is it ok to bring him or shall I keep him at home with dad (or make arrangements with our babysitter). |
Anonymous
|
Definitely ask. I have only been to one shower where children were allowed.
Otherwise, I think the pregnant mom doesn't want to be bothered by the reality of a crying baby or nagging kid. All babies are absolutely perfectly behaved and never poopy or crying until they are born. Don't burst her bubble too soon. |
Anonymous
And pregnant moms DO like to be the center of attention at their showers (as it should be) 
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Anonymous
| Ah that is tricky--some people are great with this and others are not..meaning that some moms bring their toddlers and let them run around and basically mom is not really focusing on your shower but on her kids and some moms really make sure toddlers can sit quietly or they don't bring them. It's annoying. Babies are almost always fine-they sleep or feed. Luckily all my friends who had toddlers didn't put me in the weird position of having to say yes or no--they left them at home but several moms brought their babies and all was fine. |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry, but I don't believe babies or toddlers belong at a shower. nothing should detract from how lovely and important the mom-to-be is on that day.
flame away... |
Anonymous
No flaming, just a difference of opinion. I was actually going to write I think it's strange if you can't bring a child to celebrate the birth of another child. I've never been to a baby shower (except at work) where children were not invited. |
Anonymous
|
I was at a shower recently where a woman brought her 2 month old baby, she was the only one to bring a kid. Everyone was all over the baby, I felt bad for the guest of honor, it didn't seem right. The baby also got fussy, started crying and then had an explosive diaper that ended up soiling her outfit. So it started to smell, and when the mother went to change the baby, she realized she didn't have an extra set of clothes. So she took a clean, brand new outfit out of someone's gift, put it on her baby, a wrote an IOU to the guest of honor. I absolutely couldn't believe it.
It is one thing if you can't get a sitter, which I thought was the case with this woman, but it turned out her husband was at home with their other kid and she just didn't want to leave the baby with him. It was so bizarre. |
Anonymous
| I think it totally depends on the hostess and the mom to be. If they are a bit more formal or traditional, definitely ask first (esp for the toddler coming along). Personally, I loved having kids at both of my showers but I'm a baby nut and my closest friends knew that about me!!! Definitely dont assume though, always ask if it's ok and excuse yourself with the baby/toddler if they are distruptive. |
Anonymous
| I loved having babies at my shower. It was also co-ed, so maybe that made a difference. |
Anonymous
|
Gosh, this question would never even cross my mind. I was lucky to have a very large and fun crowd at my shower and some friends brought their kids and some did not. I fawned all over the kids there, as did some other friends and family, and then friends and family fawned all over me when I opened gifts. I think there is enough love and attention for everyone at these events. I was thrilled to see my friends children and proud to introduce them to my other friends and family. It is a baby shower after all, hence, meaning child-friendly (IMHO).
That being said, I have an old and dear friend that is somewhat prim and proper. Her shower was a much a daintier affair and there were no children and I actually could see how that woud upset her (though none of us had children at the time.) And that story about the guest taking the outfit was dreadful. I can only assume (hope) that the "friend" truly was a friend of the mom-to-be (else why would she be there?) and that there is more to the story then the poster presented (ie - she is a friend of the mom, that she made an honest mistake forgetting an extra outfit and that she cleared borrowing the outfit with the mom to be. I would have laughed my head silly if I was the mom-to-be and had to lend her one of my outfits! I think people get way too caught up having to the center of attention and gifts at these things (baby/wedding showers) - people forget just how grateful they should be that people are even doing this for them and giving them a bunch of nice free things) |
Anonymous
| The story about the baby having a messy diaper is a funny one. I, however, wouldn't have blinked an eye at giving one of my gifted outfits to the baby. I'm sure the mom to be offered and it likely wasn't the most expensive one of the bunch. |
hellojello
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|
So it sounds like the etiquette depends first on the demeanor of the mother to be and second on the atmosphere of the shower. Is she an everything must be about me on MY day kind of person? Is it an afternoon tea at the Ritz with petit fours and real silver? Then leave the kiddies at home. Is she excited about having a child and taking a keen interest in other children? Is the shower at someone's home? Then why the hell AREN'T kids allowed?
I agree with the pp who said it just seems ironic that an occasion celebrating the birth of a child would ban other children from attendance. |
Anonymous
| About a year ago, I hosted a baby shower at my home for a close friend. On the invite list, she included the names of friends' babies so that the friends knew the babies were welcome (e.g., Ms. Katherine Smith and Olivia was written on the envelope). A couple of guests brought babies, but I don't remember any toddlers. (My husband cared for our DC in a separate part of the house and only brought our DC to the party near the end). If it's not explicitly noted that children are included, inquire when you rsvp. Even if children are included, a shower is often a good excuse to have husband/partner care for the baby/toddler for a few hours while you enjoy some adult conversation. |