What are your feelings on leaving a club after the Fall Season? U13 and Under

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[Post New]10/02/2019 10:19
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Anonymous
My daughter did travel soccer for a year. Her team got creamed all the time, because our club had 6 teams vs. other club's 3, so we often got stuck playing teams that were probably objectively better than us. That first season was terribly discouraging. The second season was much better - we started beating some of the teams that had beat us in the past, as our team gelled.

She improved a lot that year. Losing all the time can mean you're just playing better opponents - you can still learn from that. Losing can mean that a team hasn't gelled yet, but still could.
[Post New]10/02/2019 13:13
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to add that joining a team mid-way through the year can often create dissension at the new team which will now have another kid subbing in and taking time from current players. I've got kids on various teams that love collecting players but I find that the new kids (and parents) are often not loved right away due to the the insecurity it creates amongst the current players.


My kid is on a DA team that constantly has new people rotate through. Several have been training with the DA for months to be honest. Kids are kind of used to it. Some teams may be more insular, but I think at a certain point kids realize this is how it is.


I think this is common for DA teams. My kids team is the same way.
[Post New]10/03/2019 15:51
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Anonymous
If there's true mismanagement or abusive or grossly incompetent coaching, leave. But otherwise, I'd stick it out. Think about it this way - how would you feel if the club decided to "drop" your kid in the middle of the season because she wasn't what they expected (and return the remainder of your money).
[Post New]10/03/2019 23:33
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to add that joining a team mid-way through the year can often create dissension at the new team which will now have another kid subbing in and taking time from current players. I've got kids on various teams that love collecting players but I find that the new kids (and parents) are often not loved right away due to the the insecurity it creates amongst the current players.


My kid is on a DA team that constantly has new people rotate through. Several have been training with the DA for months to be honest. Kids are kind of used to it. Some teams may be more insular, but I think at a certain point kids realize this is how it is.


I think this is common for DA teams. My kids team is the same way.


Ka-Ching!
[Post New]10/04/2019 00:17
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jaschiang
Member Offline
That's interesting!
[Post New]10/04/2019 07:17
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If there's true mismanagement or abusive or grossly incompetent coaching, leave. But otherwise, I'd stick it out. Think about it this way - how would you feel if the club decided to "drop" your kid in the middle of the season because she wasn't what they expected (and return the remainder of your money).


Some clubs drop kids to the "B" team mid season.
[Post New]10/10/2019 21:41
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Anonymous
Reasons to leave:

abusive coach

disarray

bullying players

school work

If your kid is just vaguely unhappy because his team isn't dominating the region,

stick it out.
[Post New]10/10/2019 21:42
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If there's true mismanagement or abusive or grossly incompetent coaching, leave. But otherwise, I'd stick it out. Think about it this way - how would you feel if the club decided to "drop" your kid in the middle of the season because she wasn't what they expected (and return the remainder of your money).


Some clubs drop kids to the "B" team mid season.


maybe they are right?
[Post New]10/10/2019 21:43
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My daughter did travel soccer for a year. Her team got creamed all the time, because our club had 6 teams vs. other club's 3, so we often got stuck playing teams that were probably objectively better than us. That first season was terribly discouraging. The second season was much better - we started beating some of the teams that had beat us in the past, as our team gelled.

She improved a lot that year. Losing all the time can mean you're just playing better opponents - you can still learn from that. Losing can mean that a team hasn't gelled yet, but still could.


if your kid is on the bottom teams, the club views your family as a cash cow.

only stick around if your kid is having fun.
[Post New]10/11/2019 14:55
quote
Anonymous

If there's true mismanagement or abusive or grossly incompetent coaching, leave. But otherwise, I'd stick it out. Think about it this way - how would you feel if the club decided to "drop" your kid in the middle of the season because she wasn't what they expected (and return the remainder of your money).


Some clubs drop kids to the "B" team mid season.


Our doesn't. It will very rarely move someone up and replace them with a kid from outside the club, but never down. I have mixed feelings about that. One the one hand, a U13, that could be really discouraging. ON the other hand, there are one or two players who are just not up to the level of the rest of the team, and they don't get played that much. They might have more fun on the B team. I actually thought about asking to move my son down to the B team at the beginning of last year, because he wasn't playing well (and therefore wasn't playing much), but it seems like he was able to work whatever his issue was out about 1/3 of the way through, and everything was fine.
[Post New]10/11/2019 14:56
quote
Anonymous

My daughter did travel soccer for a year. Her team got creamed all the time, because our club had 6 teams vs. other club's 3, so we often got stuck playing teams that were probably objectively better than us. That first season was terribly discouraging. The second season was much better - we started beating some of the teams that had beat us in the past, as our team gelled.

She improved a lot that year. Losing all the time can mean you're just playing better opponents - you can still learn from that. Losing can mean that a team hasn't gelled yet, but still could.


if your kid is on the bottom teams, the club views your family as a cash cow.

only stick around if your kid is having fun.


I mean, what else are most families that are not on the very top level teams? What do you think kids should be getting out of this, besides improving at soccer, learning to work as a team, and having fun?
[Post New]10/12/2019 14:47
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My daughter did travel soccer for a year. Her team got creamed all the time, because our club had 6 teams vs. other club's 3, so we often got stuck playing teams that were probably objectively better than us. That first season was terribly discouraging. The second season was much better - we started beating some of the teams that had beat us in the past, as our team gelled.

She improved a lot that year. Losing all the time can mean you're just playing better opponents - you can still learn from that. Losing can mean that a team hasn't gelled yet, but still could.


if your kid is on the bottom teams, the club views your family as a cash cow.

only stick around if your kid is having fun.


This might be true of the club management but not necessarily the coaches of those teams. A good coach at any level can make all the difference. Some of the lower level coaches are better at positively motivating the kids, keeping stress lower, making sure playing time is more equitable etc., overall developing talent in a positive way. At the younger ages, this can create an environment that doesn’t burn out the kids too soon. OP, If you see your DD’s technical skill getting better, her game IQ improving and her team camaraderie is good, stick around another season before making any decision to leave. Focus less on the win/lose scenario for now and speak with the coach about his or her training philosophy. Play the long game. A conversation with DD about what she wants from the sport in the future would be helpful too so you can determine her aspirations.
[Post New]10/13/2019 21:25
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:While I agree that parents ultimately have to do what's best for their kids, I also think there's due process. At the very least, have a conversation with the coach to express your concerns and hear his/her perspective. I also think kids need to learn that they will have teachers, coaches, bosses. etc. that they don't like and you can't just quit when things get hard. Also know that results at this age are often driven by physical development. A team can be building player skills and learning how to play out of the back but get beat every week by bigger, faster teams that play a more direct style of soccer. Not saying you don't know what you're seeing, but just make sure you're assessing development and not results alone at this age.

If talking to them doesn't yield any insight or change, start shopping for your kid's next club. But I'd only switch mid-year in travel if things were really off the rails. How would you feel if a club came to you midyear and said "I know we promised you a year but a really great center back just moved here and wants your kid's spot so off you go." I also agree with the PP if it's travel soccer and you've made a yearlong commitment to the team, you really should fulfill that commitment unless your child is in some sort of danger or if the club is grossly under-delivering on its commitment (and poor team results doesn't qualify in my opinion). Lastly, I've seen firsthand that the soccer world is a small one and the coach you have today could easily resurface in your next club. Not good to burn bridges. So at least give him/her the opportunity to address your concerns before you jump ship.

Most kids learn this from going to school every day. So it’s not something they should be forced to do after school. We spent a miserable year with a coach who didn’t give a damn about the team. Got a new coach this year and it’s amazing how much better the team is playing.
[Post New]10/15/2019 07:28
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:

My daughter did travel soccer for a year. Her team got creamed all the time, because our club had 6 teams vs. other club's 3, so we often got stuck playing teams that were probably objectively better than us. That first season was terribly discouraging. The second season was much better - we started beating some of the teams that had beat us in the past, as our team gelled.

She improved a lot that year. Losing all the time can mean you're just playing better opponents - you can still learn from that. Losing can mean that a team hasn't gelled yet, but still could.


if your kid is on the bottom teams, the club views your family as a cash cow.

only stick around if your kid is having fun.


I mean, what else are most families that are not on the very top level teams? What do you think kids should be getting out of this, besides improving at soccer, learning to work as a team, and having fun?


Well, when my son went as on a neglected team with a nasty coach, and we didn’t feel we were getting our money’s worth, we moved to a smaller club with fewer teams per age group. We don’t really care about dominance or DAs. We just wanted fun games.
[Post New]10/15/2019 09:28
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If there's true mismanagement or abusive or grossly incompetent coaching, leave. But otherwise, I'd stick it out. Think about it this way - how would you feel if the club decided to "drop" your kid in the middle of the season because she wasn't what they expected (and return the remainder of your money).


Some clubs drop kids to the "B" team mid season.


maybe they are right?


Under u13? What the f does it matter. The club can make corrections next year. If the club is cutting or demoting a u9, u10, u11 or u12 player mid season leave the club. Under u13 winning losing does not matter. They are not playing soccer yet. Get to the big field at u13 and lots of stuff changes. Now you start playing soccer and a lot of the u -little stars fad. Ask a parent of an older kid who has been through.
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