Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???

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[Post New]09/15/2019 11:26
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ChallengerDream91
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Yesterday was the day I have been dreading for a very long time. Me and my ex dropped off our youngest son at college.On one hand I am so proud of him but on the other hand now he is gone. His room of 20 years (he just turn 20 in August) is now empty. Last night on the drive home I cried the whole way home and now its morning and I find myself still a mess.

A friend of mine suggested that we repurpose his room, but both ex and I cannot do that... That is HIS room. I knew this day would come but I never thought it would hurt so horribly bad.
[Post New]09/15/2019 11:30
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Anonymous
It is painful! Don’t repurpose his room yet - he’ll be coming home from college and want his old room back! You can repurpose it after he graduates and is settled in life. I would let myself feel the sorrow for a while - in a few weeks it should be more bearable. Keep busy - take up a new hobby.
[Post New]09/15/2019 11:49
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Anonymous
Well I have my job to do... in a couple weeks I will be taking over a Japanesd Restaurant's books... so that will keep me busy plus I an environmental consultant too..I just hope I can function well enough to do a good job.
[Post New]09/15/2019 11:50
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Anonymous
We just dropped off our oldest son at college a month ago. I was fine when we said goodbye (just a little weepy) and when we flew home. But then we came home, and I just sobbed. And sobbed. I think it was just a release from the build up to that moment I knew was coming. I was exhausted, and I’m guessing you are as well, OP.

Hang in there. It’s really hard those first couple of days. Be gentle with yourself. It will not be this intense a week from now.
[Post New]09/15/2019 11:58
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Anonymous
20? why is he 20 and going to freshman year.
[Post New]09/15/2019 12:08
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We just dropped off our oldest son at college a month ago. I was fine when we said goodbye (just a little weepy) and when we flew home. But then we came home, and I just sobbed. And sobbed. I think it was just a release from the build up to that moment I knew was coming. I was exhausted, and I’m guessing you are as well, OP.

Hang in there. It’s really hard those first couple of days. Be gentle with yourself. It will not be this intense a week from now.


Thank you for saying that... I wondered if I would ever get better. I just hope I am able to function... I still have my job to do.
[Post New]09/15/2019 12:19
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We just dropped off our oldest son at college a month ago. I was fine when we said goodbye (just a little weepy) and when we flew home. But then we came home, and I just sobbed. And sobbed. I think it was just a release from the build up to that moment I knew was coming. I was exhausted, and I’m guessing you are as well, OP.

Hang in there. It’s really hard those first couple of days. Be gentle with yourself. It will not be this intense a week from now.


Thank you for saying that... I wondered if I would ever get better. I just hope I am able to function... I still have my job to do.


You will. Staying busy is a good thing.

[Post New]09/15/2019 12:38
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Anonymous
Why weren't you this sad when your oldest or middle one or whatever left??
[Post New]09/15/2019 13:12
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Anonymous
ChallengerDream91 wrote:Yesterday was the day I have been dreading for a very long time. Me and my ex dropped off our youngest son at college.On one hand I am so proud of him but on the other hand now he is gone. His room of 20 years (he just turn 20 in August) is now empty. Last night on the drive home I cried the whole way home and now its morning and I find myself still a mess.

A friend of mine suggested that we repurpose his room, but both ex and I cannot do that... That is HIS room. I knew this day would come but I never thought it would hurt so horribly bad.


I'm going to be you next year. I think what might help is you telling yourself that it is good for son and you raised him right he will be ready for a new adventure. What if your parents made you feel guilty for wanting to start your own life? Not saying you can't be sad but don't let him know. Try to keep busy. Travel or take up new activities. He will still be part of your life but not if you smother him. Try to embrace change. You really wouldn't want a 30 year old man living in your house.
[Post New]09/15/2019 13:26
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Anonymous
He’s 20!

Why didn’t he go to college earlier?
[Post New]09/15/2019 13:28
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Anonymous
You’ve done your job. They’re supposed to leave.

It felt strange when ours left, but I couldn’t have been happier - for them or for us. I considered it a job well done!
[Post New]09/15/2019 13:36
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:He’s 20!

Why didn’t he go to college earlier?


Leave OP alone! Maybe he took a gap year, maybe working, volunteering. Just cheer her up if you experienced what she is going through.

Sorry OP, I'm almost there. Think I will be a wreck when the time comes.
[Post New]09/15/2019 13:50
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:20? why is he 20 and going to freshman year.


I don't think OP ever said he was a freshman. Maybe he did a year or two at a local community college and is now transferring to a university. Or maybe he did a year or two at a local 4 year university and lived at home, but has now transferred to a different school further away.
[Post New]09/15/2019 13:56
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Anonymous
OP, have you read the other threads? I offered a concrete method re: developing a mantra.
[Post New]09/15/2019 14:27
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Anonymous
I would thoroughly clean his room and then happily look at the room everyday and smile when it is STILL neat and tidy.
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