Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
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Anonymous
My oldest is in transfer college too, but he comes home every night so I am ok since my oldest is here (Thank God for that) |
Anonymous
Perhaps he took a few years off because he either wasn't ready or had medical issues? My dd is going getting her AA and will transfer when 22. Not everyone does things the same. |
Anonymous
Yes, I do worry about smothering him, I certainly want him to be happy and be successful. Thank you for your wonderful advice. I guess it will get better over time, just have to a positive attitude. |
Anonymous
I thought that I posted about his status, he actually already has his Associates for Science and is now a transfer student at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo pursuing his major. He attended the local college until he had decided what his major was going to be. (He didn't want to waste our money) |
Anonymous
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I thought I'd be fine and it has been several weeks and I still cry at times. The recognition that things will never be the same hit me hard. I was a sahm and have twins. Dropping them off just days apart and coming home to an empty house was more painful than I expected. I have lots of interests and have lots of big projects but I'm pretty sad. I miss cooking for everyone.
This is one of the most significant milestones parents experience. Don't feel bad at having feelings about this. |
Anonymous
| You have plenty of company. I recall that Oprah did a show on this. |
Anonymous
Why are you asking a question that has nothing to do with OPs dilemma? Maybe he wasn't ready to start college sooner. Maybe he had to work for a while. Why is that any of your business and what does it have to do with OP's situation? Amazing the a$$holes that come out of the woodwork here on DCUM. |
Anonymous
+1. I know someone who started at 19 because of leukemia treatments. |
Anonymous
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A bit off topic -
Both my kids had very grown up rooms all their lives, with queen sized beds and big closets etc. When they went to college, all I did was really tidied it up and boxed their knick knacks and stored it in their closets. When they came back, they came back to their room. When guests came, they could use their rooms too. I don't think repurposing their room would have gone down well in our family. These were functional and well appointed rooms and it was their space. My oldest came back home after graduating and began her first job while staying with us. Her job was a consulting job and she was hardly home, She came back only on weekends or between projects. She only left when she got married and relocated to another state with her husband. After college she stayed home for another 4 years, worked with two employers and also did her masters. My youngest stayed home or used our home as a base for the duration of one internship, 1 year of study abroad, 2 years of masters and six months in the first job. He only moved out when he went to another city and rented an apartment there. Is the expectation that your kids will never return home? I am asking because my kids have stayed with us, on and off, when it was convenient and only moved out for education, job etc, when staying at home did not make sense. Obviously, when they were dating, they were spending time with their SO, but somehow even the SO were not settled in one place and they were moving for their education, internships or jobs. It would have been a logistical nightmare and a lot of expense for them to have not made our home their base. |
Anonymous
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The rooms of our adult children (in their 20's) have about 2 selves in their closet of their old knick knacks. Usually things I think are special reminders of them (they've already taken all that they think is important), a couple pictures .. not many, not a shrine, a picture or two. Their bedspreads/drapes are different now. Something I chose, but to be honest, my daughter's room is more feminine, son's more masculine.
We need both rooms from guest rooms. It works. We wouldn't need them for anything else. My husband and I both keep off-season clothes in their closet. Probably more of our things in their room now, than theirs. There are some things of theirs in each of the closets. They would have something to wear, at home, if they wanted. |
Anonymous
| I really like the Asian culture of staying with your kids at least till they are married..then helping with the grandkids..then they helping with the elder Care... everybody has an easier time of it...IF they are all basically reasonable and good people I guess |
Anonymous
| Freshman year is hard but sophomore is worse. Really independent then. |
Anonymous
| Be happy the boy stink is going to air out of his room & get a grip. Be excited for him. Make it less about you. |
Anonymous
I am curious about this too. |
Anonymous
It’s irrelevant. Stick to the topic. |