Hypothetical: widowed and remarriage
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Anonymous
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Never. Another person to take care of, a man for my children to have to adjust to, possibly with kids who are strangers to them?
And the financial risks? No. |
Anonymous
| Although I would love to find love again, I would have no reason to marry as I’m not having more kids. |
Lonely_Sojourner
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Being widowed at 48 after 17 years of marriage, I’d marry again if the situation were right. Granted, I was fortunate enough to marry my best friend and our relationship was nothing short of utopia. A foreign concept to many of the respondents on this site, as I’m learning. Never in all of my years of being married did I ever want or wish my wife was anywhere other than by my side. I will share that there is nothing I wouldn’t give to have her back for one more day. If nothing else to share with her how important she was to me. For those that think “the grass is always greener”, I beg to differ.
L_S |
Lonely_Sojourner
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“Never” is a long time... “Another person to take care of”. Another way of looking at this would be “another person to take care of you”. I’ll share that your kids will not be around forever... “a man for my children to have to adjust to, possibly with kids who are strangers to them?”. Kids are resilient. While my wife was a single mom when we dated, I took the role of “Uncle R” with her son and was very upfront with him that I was NOT a replacement for his father. We established parameters and I never injected myself in between them without being asked. “And the financial risks?” This is, by far, the biggest hurdle to such... Starting over at our age is tough as most of us have assets that we’ve worked hard to accrue and don’t want to lose them if we want to retire at a reasonable age... L_S |
Anonymous
| If I got divorced I don't think I would ever remarry. If I were widowed, I would remarry within the year because I have three young daughters and they would need a mother. |
Anonymous
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This sounds crash, but I would only remarry if the guy was very well off and didn’t have children. I have 2 kids and I like to daydream about having 2 more.
However, if I was too old to have more kids, no way would i remarry. My kids would likely be teens and I wouldn’t want to push them away by restructuring their family when they’re almost in college. What’s the point? I also feel that past a certain age, the people who are single (never married) are that way for a reason - usually because they’re very set in their ways and are difficult to live with. I don’t want to deal with that OR make my kids deal with that. I also don’t want to deal with being a stepmom. I know myself and I don’t have the social skills/emotional intelligence to deal with super complicated relationships. |
Anonymous
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Only if the guy was spectacular.
My DH says he won't, because it'll be all f*cked up when we are all dead and in heaven. |
Anonymous
They have a mother. You are just too lazy to parent them alone. |
Anonymous
| I"m not opposed to a second marriage. My kids are old enough that it wouldn't be a big deal ... They"ll be pout of the house soon and i can't see me finding a man, daring, and then marrying till then, anyway. It takes time. |
Anonymous
That's a mean thing to say to someone who is widowed. Is it laziness, or a desire for girls to also have a loving female helping raise them instead of just a clueless father? |
Anonymous
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Yes, because I companionship. I probably wouldn't want to
be with anyone for a while...a long while. But eventually I would seek out another relationship. I'd only stay unmarried if it meant significant financial loss. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| I wouldn't remarry. I think my DH would, though. |
Anonymous
| I think this is impossible to know in the abstract. My dad died fairly young, and for the next ten years or so my mom didn’t date. Eventually she did start dating and even had a fairly serious relationship. Stopped short of marriage, but came close. She enjoyed having soemone to spend time with, travel with, and yes, maybe even have sex with. |
Anonymous
+1. My dad died in his mid-40s and I’ve watched my mom go through the same thing. I know she would like to be married again. A lot of you seem to be unhappily married, so I’m not surprised at the majority of no answers. (The pension/health insurance issues are obviously a different category.) |