Dating Apps, For Sh*ts and Giggles

Anonymous
Guys, I’ve been I’m on the requisite sites such as Bumble, OKC, Match and have followed every rule of decorum. For shits and giggles, how would you respond to the following:
Middle aged woman with 2 children split 50/50
Professional making well above 6 figures
In good shape, but has stretch marks on thighs and stomach
Will f**k like a minx, but need to be home by 11pm
Just curious how this would read versus the usual bland I do yoga bullshit.
Anonymous
Being a professional and making six figures isn’t good for s profile.
Anonymous
I woudn't mention stretch marks. They are your medals of honor, and where did you see a decorate war warrior listing all their medals?
Just make sure the lights in the bedroom are muted. Candle light is even better - go for romantic.
Anonymous
Don’t mention the stretch marks or your salary. Men don’t care about either. Everything else is fine.
Anonymous
Sounds perfect
Anonymous
You could leave out the first 3 sentences. That last one is a winner.
Anonymous
All you need is one line: "I am happiest on my knees." You will have all the trade you can handle.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Don’t mention the stretch marks or your salary. Men don’t care about either. Everything else is fine.


I agree, take those two things out.
Anonymous
"Middle aged woman" - I hope you are giving a precise, correct number
Would say professional, wouldn't mention salary
Wouldn't mention stretch marks - your photo will prove the "good shape" part (right?)
cba
Member Offline
It reads well as is, but the changes PP suggested would make it better.
Would you like to get a drink sometime and see if there's any chemistry?
PM me
Anonymous
1) I would not mention salary. You could easily meet a male gold digger. (Similarly, in my on-line profile, as a male, I do not mention 200,000K. I do say comfortable scientist).

2) I would say, for example,

52 yo divorced woman (with kids), I kept in good shape, but the years do show, looking for fun and companionship. High libido, but I do not stay out late.


For comparison, here is how I describe myself:
55 yo divorced father, Dad-bod ++, scientist with comfortable income. Mostly original hair color on my head (less so on my face), and I have most of my original hair. I would like to say I am into crossfit and marathons, but that would be a lie.
I do have a good sense of humor, and am quite intelligent.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:1) I would not mention salary. You could easily meet a male gold digger. (Similarly, in my on-line profile, as a male, I do not mention 200,000K. I do say comfortable scientist).

2) I would say, for example,

52 yo divorced woman (with kids), I kept in good shape, but the years do show, looking for fun and companionship. High libido, but I do not stay out late.


For comparison, here is how I describe myself:
55 yo divorced father, Dad-bod ++, scientist with comfortable income. Mostly original hair color on my head (less so on my face), and I have most of my original hair. I would like to say I am into crossfit and marathons, but that would be a lie.
I do have a good sense of humor, and am quite intelligent.


PP, intriguing description!
However, you have redundant info
Scientist = smart so leave last comment
Dad bod = NOT into crossfit etc
And all that focus on hair color? Unnecessary in my opinion
45 div female here
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1) I would not mention salary. You could easily meet a male gold digger. (Similarly, in my on-line profile, as a male, I do not mention 200,000K. I do say comfortable scientist).

2) I would say, for example,

52 yo divorced woman (with kids), I kept in good shape, but the years do show, looking for fun and companionship. High libido, but I do not stay out late.


For comparison, here is how I describe myself:
55 yo divorced father, Dad-bod ++, scientist with comfortable income. Mostly original hair color on my head (less so on my face), and I have most of my original hair. I would like to say I am into crossfit and marathons, but that would be a lie.
I do have a good sense of humor, and am quite intelligent.


PP, intriguing description!
However, you have redundant info
Scientist = smart so leave last comment
Dad bod = NOT into crossfit etc
And all that focus on hair color? Unnecessary in my opinion
45 div female here


NP

I see the redundancy too, but the slight humor in the CrossFit sentence made me smile. I’m Not familiar with posting on the dating sites, but unless they have a character limit I would not delete this sentence just because it’s redundant. This isnt an essay
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1) I would not mention salary. You could easily meet a male gold digger. (Similarly, in my on-line profile, as a male, I do not mention 200,000K. I do say comfortable scientist).

2) I would say, for example,

52 yo divorced woman (with kids), I kept in good shape, but the years do show, looking for fun and companionship. High libido, but I do not stay out late.


For comparison, here is how I describe myself:
55 yo divorced father, Dad-bod ++, scientist with comfortable income. Mostly original hair color on my head (less so on my face), and I have most of my original hair. I would like to say I am into crossfit and marathons, but that would be a lie.
I do have a good sense of humor, and am quite intelligent.


PP, intriguing description!
However, you have redundant info
Scientist = smart so leave last comment
Dad bod = NOT into crossfit etc
And all that focus on hair color? Unnecessary in my opinion
45 div female here


Yep on the hair color. I don’t care about the color if you have it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1) I would not mention salary. You could easily meet a male gold digger. (Similarly, in my on-line profile, as a male, I do not mention 200,000K. I do say comfortable scientist).

2) I would say, for example,

52 yo divorced woman (with kids), I kept in good shape, but the years do show, looking for fun and companionship. High libido, but I do not stay out late.


For comparison, here is how I describe myself:
55 yo divorced father, Dad-bod ++, scientist with comfortable income. Mostly original hair color on my head (less so on my face), and I have most of my original hair. I would like to say I am into crossfit and marathons, but that would be a lie.
I do have a good sense of humor, and am quite intelligent.


PP, intriguing description!
However, you have redundant info
Scientist = smart so leave last comment
Dad bod = NOT into crossfit etc
And all that focus on hair color? Unnecessary in my opinion
45 div female here


NP

I see the redundancy too, but the slight humor in the CrossFit sentence made me smile. I’m Not familiar with posting on the dating sites, but unless they have a character limit I would not delete this sentence just because it’s redundant. This isnt an essay


The cross-fit comment was to be 1) funny and 2) show honesty. I am not going to say I am honest in a description because no one would believe me....oh well. As for the intelligence, a better way of saying it is I am looking for a person who can hold an intelligent conversation while laughing. If you want to talk about the Kardashians', do not respond.

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