Dating Apps, For Sh*ts and Giggles

[Anonymous]

Guys, I’ve been I’m on the requisite sites such as Bumble, OKC, Match and have followed every rule of decorum. For shits and giggles, how would you respond to the following:
Middle aged woman with 2 children split 50/50
Professional making well above 6 figures
In good shape, but has stretch marks on thighs and stomach
Will f**k like a minx, but need to be home by 11pm
Just curious how this would read versus the usual bland I do yoga bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Being a professional and making six figures isn’t good for s profile.

[Anonymous]

I woudn't mention stretch marks. They are your medals of honor, and where did you see a decorate war warrior listing all their medals?
Just make sure the lights in the bedroom are muted. Candle light is even better - go for romantic.

[Anonymous]

Don’t mention the stretch marks or your salary. Men don’t care about either. Everything else is fine.

[Anonymous]

Sounds perfect

[Anonymous]

You could leave out the first 3 sentences. That last one is a winner.

[Anonymous]

All you need is one line: "I am happiest on my knees." You will have all the trade you can handle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t mention the stretch marks or your salary. Men don’t care about either. Everything else is fine.

I agree, take those two things out.

[Anonymous]

"Middle aged woman" - I hope you are giving a precise, correct number
Would say professional, wouldn't mention salary
Wouldn't mention stretch marks - your photo will prove the "good shape" part (right?)

[cba]

It reads well as is, but the changes PP suggested would make it better.
Would you like to get a drink sometime and see if there's any chemistry?
PM me

[Anonymous]

1) I would not mention salary. You could easily meet a male gold digger. (Similarly, in my on-line profile, as a male, I do not mention 200,000K. I do say comfortable scientist).

2) I would say, for example,

52 yo divorced woman (with kids), I kept in good shape, but the years do show, looking for fun and companionship. High libido, but I do not stay out late.


For comparison, here is how I describe myself:
55 yo divorced father, Dad-bod ++, scientist with comfortable income. Mostly original hair color on my head (less so on my face), and I have most of my original hair. I would like to say I am into crossfit and marathons, but that would be a lie.
I do have a good sense of humor, and am quite intelligent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) I would not mention salary. You could easily meet a male gold digger. (Similarly, in my on-line profile, as a male, I do not mention 200,000K. I do say comfortable scientist).

2) I would say, for example,

52 yo divorced woman (with kids), I kept in good shape, but the years do show, looking for fun and companionship. High libido, but I do not stay out late.


For comparison, here is how I describe myself:
55 yo divorced father, Dad-bod ++, scientist with comfortable income. Mostly original hair color on my head (less so on my face), and I have most of my original hair. I would like to say I am into crossfit and marathons, but that would be a lie.
I do have a good sense of humor, and am quite intelligent.

PP, intriguing description!
However, you have redundant info
Scientist = smart so leave last comment
Dad bod = NOT into crossfit etc
And all that focus on hair color? Unnecessary in my opinion
45 div female here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) I would not mention salary. You could easily meet a male gold digger. (Similarly, in my on-line profile, as a male, I do not mention 200,000K. I do say comfortable scientist).

2) I would say, for example,

52 yo divorced woman (with kids), I kept in good shape, but the years do show, looking for fun and companionship. High libido, but I do not stay out late.


For comparison, here is how I describe myself:
55 yo divorced father, Dad-bod ++, scientist with comfortable income. Mostly original hair color on my head (less so on my face), and I have most of my original hair. I would like to say I am into crossfit and marathons, but that would be a lie.
I do have a good sense of humor, and am quite intelligent.

PP, intriguing description!
However, you have redundant info
Scientist = smart so leave last comment
Dad bod = NOT into crossfit etc
And all that focus on hair color? Unnecessary in my opinion
45 div female here

NP

I see the redundancy too, but the slight humor in the CrossFit sentence made me smile. I’m Not familiar with posting on the dating sites, but unless they have a character limit I would not delete this sentence just because it’s redundant. This isnt an essay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) I would not mention salary. You could easily meet a male gold digger. (Similarly, in my on-line profile, as a male, I do not mention 200,000K. I do say comfortable scientist).

2) I would say, for example,

52 yo divorced woman (with kids), I kept in good shape, but the years do show, looking for fun and companionship. High libido, but I do not stay out late.


For comparison, here is how I describe myself:
55 yo divorced father, Dad-bod ++, scientist with comfortable income. Mostly original hair color on my head (less so on my face), and I have most of my original hair. I would like to say I am into crossfit and marathons, but that would be a lie.
I do have a good sense of humor, and am quite intelligent.

PP, intriguing description!
However, you have redundant info
Scientist = smart so leave last comment
Dad bod = NOT into crossfit etc
And all that focus on hair color? Unnecessary in my opinion
45 div female here

Yep on the hair color. I don’t care about the color if you have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) I would not mention salary. You could easily meet a male gold digger. (Similarly, in my on-line profile, as a male, I do not mention 200,000K. I do say comfortable scientist).

2) I would say, for example,

52 yo divorced woman (with kids), I kept in good shape, but the years do show, looking for fun and companionship. High libido, but I do not stay out late.


For comparison, here is how I describe myself:
55 yo divorced father, Dad-bod ++, scientist with comfortable income. Mostly original hair color on my head (less so on my face), and I have most of my original hair. I would like to say I am into crossfit and marathons, but that would be a lie.
I do have a good sense of humor, and am quite intelligent.

PP, intriguing description!
However, you have redundant info
Scientist = smart so leave last comment
Dad bod = NOT into crossfit etc
And all that focus on hair color? Unnecessary in my opinion
45 div female here

NP

I see the redundancy too, but the slight humor in the CrossFit sentence made me smile. I’m Not familiar with posting on the dating sites, but unless they have a character limit I would not delete this sentence just because it’s redundant. This isnt an essay

The cross-fit comment was to be 1) funny and 2) show honesty. I am not going to say I am honest in a description because no one would believe me....oh well. As for the intelligence, a better way of saying it is I am looking for a person who can hold an intelligent conversation while laughing. If you want to talk about the Kardashians', do not respond.