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potty training/almost 3 year old boy
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Anonymous
| so my almost three year old has been using the potty sporadically for months now. we were in a routine of using it before nap and every night before bed...but recently he's been telling me he doesn't want to. he says he doesn't need to pee. do i force it? i've been avoiding a power struggle but i'm not quite sure what to do...i get the sense he would continue happily in diapers if i don't force the issue. i've tried to get him to use the potty in the morning as well and he screams no. should i just pick a long weekend and bite the bullet and go cold turkey rather than the gradual approach i've been trying? |
Anonymous
| my son will be 3yo in a few weeks and we have decided not to pressure him to potty train... he was peeing on the potty a lot, made a few BM's and now doesnt want to do it at all on the potty...we know he is almost ready to be out of diapers as he hates being changed and gets embarassed when he makes a #2, but we are going to take the slower, child directed approach...i offer a few times a week if he wants to go poop on the potty, and he's always declining, so i'm going to back off, as for pee, i try to give him naked time each pm and he will take himself to his potty on occasion...but overall, i think we are still a few months away..we are at a very liberal co=op preschool where the kids all use to bathroom before snack to wash up, a handful of kids in his class are potty trained and my son has been able to watch them use the potty, then he's spoken about it afterwards, i'm hoping this inspires him as well! |
Anonymous
| Someone on this forum suggested a good time to potty train a boy is about a month before they turn three - we've done that and it's basically been a non-event (easy). We just put the big boys on and, while he peed a lot in them at first, he's getting the hang of it. He, too, frequently did not want to go, but I picked him up and carried him to the bathroom (made it fun - chasing, tickling, giggling, etc). We still have to initiate "it's potty time" a lot. I think at three years of age, it's reasonable to "guide" your child to become potty trained. |
Anonymous
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My son is three, and at one point was completely potty trained. He then had a painful BM, making him so fearful that he will only do it in his sleep. He was still urinating well, until he decided there was a shark in the toilet that was going to bite his penis off.
He will shriek, and fight, and I am just not pushing it. I am having him sit on the closed potty, and trying to get him used to going again. As long as he is in undies he doesn't wet himself, but will hold it for hours upon hours for fears of the shark. |
Anonymous
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Is anyone else bribing their child with m&m's? Mine gets two every time he does a BM on the potty. I know it's sending the wrong message, but it's really effective.
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Anonymous
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we use jelly-belly jellybeans instead of M&Ms.
OP, it might be a good idea just to put on the underwear, hide the diapers for a couple of days and see how it goes. but if he's really fighting it (mine would have a tantrum for 20 minutes when I tried to put on pull ups or underwear) you may just need to wait until he's really ready |
Anonymous
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We also took the "child-directed" route. If your son goes to daycare/preschool, you may want to enlist their help - my daughter was trained at school (the positive side of "peer pressure" when they would do "group" trips to the potty), but not at home despite regularly asking her/suggesting to her to go to the potty. Mostly she would just sit down for a nano-second and say she was "finished" without ever doing anything (though we made a big deal of it even if there was only one drop). We tried M&Ms, made great fanfare of it all, but to little avail. Like you, we just kept trying. We did eventually do a bare-naked potty weekend, with more M&Ms (which she soon forgot about it) and lots of praise/fanfare when she "succeeded" (and a "whoops, accidents happen but you have to remember to tell mommy or daddy if you need to go potty"), and a choice of the "small potty" or the Elmo seat (which goes on the big potty). We did that once we felt that she was really ready and really interested "in success" (versus just "interested" in sitting on the potty).
The potty weekend pretty much did the trick, but maybe just because we waited so long (and she was doing well with it in school already) - I joke that if you wait long enough, the kid will train him/herself! It has really only been about one month now (she is 3y 5m) and it took a few more weeks to get her to do BM on the potty, which we did not push at all as she occasionally has constipation problems and did not want her to hold it back. But she finally got the hang of it and is happy/proud everytime she goes to the potty now (she likes to look at it - gross, but she's proud, so what the heck). We still do naptime and night time diapers, though (though nap times are mostly dry now so we may give that up as well). Mommy and Daddy also had to be "potty trained" as we were reluctant to leave the house without a diaper (except for school) after some accidents in the "early days" as she was reluctant to go to the potty outside the house or school (her "comfort zone"). Anyway, it can't hurt to give "cold turkey" a try and see how it goes. If he doesn't go for it, just keep up with the gradual approach and it will eventually happen...though I guess it is not really cold turkey if you revert and try again...he is still on the younger side (despite the impression that everybody else has their kids trained by 2), so don't sweat it - he won't go to college in diapers... |
Anonymous
| we have potty trained our two sons-both at around 26/27 months and what we learned is that once you begin, you shouldn't go back to diapers. We devoted an entire weekend where we had them run around the house with nothing on and come monday, we went out with underwear. They understood that there were no more diapers bc there wern't any-except at night of course-and surprisingly, we had very few accidents. I think you need to push a little bc it is a little scary for them so if given the opportunity they would stay in diapers-remove that option and there is only one way to go. good luck!! |
Anonymous
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I agree with not "going back" to diapers...worked for us when DS "fought it". The one thing that we STILL do when DS says he doesn't have to wee wee (wehn we know full well after a 20oz bottle of water) is to say something like, "well, just go try...maybe you have wee wee maybe you don't, but everyone always tries before they go out of the house". I think it is the "maybe you do maybe you don't" part of the statement because he still feels in control.
we currently have no sharks in our potty!!! (i love it!) |
Meconbear
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Has anyone tried the Elmo Potty video? I've heard that it works wonders.
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Anonymous
| got the video...nothing works until the child is ready. |
Anonymous
| I totally agree that nothing works until THEY are ready. Think about when they learned to walk. It took many months prior to actually walking to get ready for the actual walking. Some kids need a little guidance towards using the potty. Some just do it from Day 1. Around age 3 seems to be a good time to start w/ many boys. But don't expect it to happen in a weekend like some books claim. It can happen in a weekend but most likely not. Expect many setbacks too. My DD is a few months shy of 4 yrs old and is now full trained but it was only in the last 2 months that she decided to just do it herself (after many months of me "training" her). |
Anonymous
| I agree, all of the books, videos, etc will do nothing until the child is ready. My son wasn't even willing to sit on the potty until 3.3 years and then it was another two months before he was totally trained. Every kid is differnent. My daughter is 26 months and has NO interest so I'm putting it on the back burner for a while. |
Anonymous
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I think the trick is to get them excited about wearing the underwear. My son was really excited to wear Spiderman and Lightening McQueen underwear and sit on the potty like a big boy. I tried to focus on positive reinforcement, too. We didn't use M&Ms or food, just stickers and copious praise for sitting and then saying things like "Wow, Daddy, so and so went to the potty so nicely! Can you believe it? He's so big!" again after actually going.)I would remind them to go to the potty, esp. by saying before we went somewhere "I have to go potty--let's both go before we go to the park." etc.
There were accidents but whenever I encountered resistance, I would just say, ok, you don't have to go now, but tell me if you have to go, and then ask an hour later. Expect to have to go to the restroom while you're out for a while (pretty much everywhere has restrooms though!) and bring a change of underwear, pants and a shirt with you that you keep in the car. If he has an accident, just say oops, now that we wear underwear, we have to sit on the potty to go peepee or whatever. Next time, please go to the potty. |
Anonymous
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Bribing with a treat worked wonders and was surprisingly easy to end after a month or two.
Seems like everyone potty trains their boys around 3 - the preschool I want to send mine to takes kids who are pottytrained and 2 1/2. I'm wondering how many boys are 2 1/2 and pottytrained??? |