Does anyone else's spouse turn into a monster when their parents visit?
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Anonymous
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I'm this spouse. My DH is always telling me to be nicer to my mom. And I love my mom! I just haven't lived with her (or in the same state as anyone in my immediate family) since I was 17 and I revert to an angsty teenager when I'm around my family for a week or longer.
Because my mom isn't doing anything wrong I welcome my DH's reminders to stop being a brat. If I was being emotional because my mom was a trainwreck, or had abused me as a kid, or anything like that, it might be a different story. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I am surviving. I realize how I wrote this question oddly. The people I am referring to are DH and his own parents (my in-laws). |
Anonymous
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I do OP. My in-laws are lumps on a log. They do absolutely nothing while I slave away cooking and cleaning after them. It's like having extra kids to take care of.
My spouse and I always fight when they visit. I hate it. |
Anonymous
This is me too! Same story, haven't lived near family since 18. I revert to teenager and my mom forgets boundaries acting as if she is the mom in my own house. She is really a wonderful human but yes I'm annoyed just like an angsty teen. |
Anonymous
| My DH turned into a limp biscuit when we were with his parents or siblings. 20 years of marriage, luckily we figured it out early. He resorts go being the baby in the family, doing what he's told and not standing up for me or the kids. At first it drove me crazy. But, we would talk about it after (not right away, but a few days later), and I would give examples like, "you know Larlo naps at 2:00, why would you agree to take him to ABC at 1:30," and later, "You know Larla is a vegetarian, why would you agree that we all go out to a steakhouse for dinner," etc. So many examples of him doing wht everyone else wanted and not what our family needed. Like I said, we figured it out pretty early, and now, 20 years later still talk bout visuts before they happen, and he does a much better job of standing up for our family's need, rather than giving in to what everyone else wants. |
Bella_lee
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| My dh doesn't but I get kind of stressed when my in-laws are coming to visit because I have more work to do and expectations that I feel I have to meet. My hubby is quite supportive though and helps me to cope with how I'm feeling. I can only suggest you look for a suitable time to talk with your spouse about how his behavior/reaction to his parents visit is affecting you and discuss some safeguards for your marriage. |