Ending friendship with a best friend
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Anonymous
| She does sound like a user. When she's not responding, is it because she has legitimate issues like dealing with an illness or her child, or is she just lame that way? |
Anonymous
Op here- 90% of the time she just didn’t respond for pretty much no reason. She’d post of FB or whatever but didn’t respond to my text. When she would text me back, she wouldn’t acknowledge my text message to her and would just text me with some issue of hers or whatever “ugh winter is dragging on” or “I really hate going grocery shopping” or “did you see what so and so posted...” shit like that. |
Anonymous
Op here- she actually struggled with some TTC stuff too so figured she’d be understanding but guess not. |
Anonymous
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it sounds like you havent gotten much from this friendship for a while. that said, from my experience fade is the best. not because what you did is childish or because she "deserves an explanation"'but because it gives you most power and most flexibility. people don't know what you are thinking and why you are not responding and it drives them crazy. at the same time not doing anything overtly aggressive makes it easier to go back if you decide so.
recently I have been having difficulties with my sister for reasons that are very similar to yours - extreme self-absorption, expects everythingg while giving nothing etc. it's my sister so it's obviously different but I just faded... I wait for several days to respond and sometimes I don't respond that all. I don't share anything on my own; I let her initiate everything. and I feel much better and more in control rather than raging about her latest escapade. |
Anonymous
| Slow fade. The FB and IG unfollow was petty but nothing you can do now. |
Anonymous
| I’m sorry you are having a hard time with the evolution of life. You are 29 years old...you need to grow I up a little bit. I wish you luck. |
Anonymous
What kind of comment is that? OP is venting. |
Anonymous
Lol move along dumbass |
Anonymous
| As you are married, working?, moving, why are you centering on h and this friendships? You were away for a couple of years, and it seems neither of you is ready to resume this friendship. So, don't. You should start letting go of small things by this time in your life and focus on important things and people. |
Anonymous
Apparently you missed where she said she unfriended her and moved away from the friendship? |
grace4ever
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I’m sorry that you are going through. It is understandable the way that you feel. I think for you have said you have behaved as a good friend helping her in all the moments that she needed, babysitting her children, doing any type of favors, being available and supportive any time of the day. That speaks very well of you, you are a very generous and have a beautiful heart because you really care about others. You expected the same from her but you were disappointed because she did not respond in the same way that you expected. I lived a similar situation with a friend of many years in the past. And I took out a big lesson of this situation. It is important to learn of being prudent do not cross the line and then being hurt. I encourage do not judge your friend, maybe she is not able to be empathetic, she does not do that to you on purpose. In the case of my friend was because she did not have a loving mother, she used to mistreat her and that has consequences in the adult life. I do not know what caused in your friend do not put in the shoes of others and that comes from her childhood. I read that in psychological article about why some people are unable to feel empathy? In conclusion: Your first priority is your marriage, the relationship with your husband and TTC. One day you will be bless having your own children or have you and your husband thought the possibility of adopting children? From my experience I’ve decided to move on, because I understood that I cannot be the third part of her marriage and she needs to learn how to solve her own problems with her husband directly. I received from pastor the advice that if a friendship cause you constantly conflict and make you lose your inner peace let her go. I’ve already forgiven her and sometimes we send messages back and forth but it is not like before. She is still my friend and I love her because we shared a lot of things, dreams in common and she is a good person but I think it is healthier for both to keep our distance and focus in our own marriage. Maybe in the future we will be more mature and we can retake our friendship. Have you thought of forgiving your friend and yourself? Forgiveness does not mean that these things did not happen to you but that you let the problem go. I think that it can sound hard to forgive but forgiveness it is the first step of change and healing and it will restore you your peace and joy As a result, I discovered that some friendships come and go and I opened my heart to another local friendships. I encourage you the same to open your heart to new friends in your area. You can meet friends for example: volunteering job, craft making, sewing, groups from church, groups from marriage couples, etc. I do not know whether if you believe in God, but I will keep you in my prayers, my friend.
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Anonymous
| is she hot? |