Getting DD to do her homework!

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[Post New]02/19/2018 16:30
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Anonymous
I need help breaking this cycle. I made the mistake of allowing my child to come home from school and unwind while watching TV or playing on the iPad while having a snack. Afterwards, it’s supposed to be time for homework, but when I say times up, time for homework, she either whines and complains that she wants to play outside/in her room, or rushes through the homework so she can be done and play, and then it’s sloppy.

I tried having her run and play first, but she still complains when it’s time to come in. I’ve tried homework with snack first, but she whines for a TV show or the iPad. It’s like she just never wants to sit down and properly do homework. I realize this is my own fault for not starting a routine. How can I break the cycle and get her on a quality homework routine? She’s a first grader, btw.
[Post New]02/19/2018 16:33
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Anonymous
How much homework does she have? I would tell her that she needs to work hard -- doing her best work -- for 10 minutes (not including reading). You will write a note excusing her from doing any homework not done after that. But it's 10 minutes of working, not 10 minutes of complaining or staring into space or picking at the lint in her carpet.

I've done that with my kids (10 minutes per grade, so we're up to 50 minutes for my 5th grader) and the only times the homework wasn't completed in the designated time was when my child truly didn't understand the work, and it was good for her teacher and me to know that. Knowing that there is an end time makes it easer for my children (one with ADHD, one without) to buckle down and do the work.
[Post New]02/19/2018 16:35
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Anonymous
“No screen time, outside time, or play time until you finish your homework.” Walk away and let her sit there until she does her homework. Do not give into the whining - put on earphones and listen to music if you need to do so. Let her whine to herself.

I feel like I’m always recommending this book on this forum, but in case you haven’t seen the rec, you should check out “Setting Linits with your strong-willed child” about how to create and enforce boundaries without using threats. It’s good even if your child is not strong-willed.
[Post New]02/19/2018 18:44
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How much homework does she have? I would tell her that she needs to work hard -- doing her best work -- for 10 minutes (not including reading). You will write a note excusing her from doing any homework not done after that. But it's 10 minutes of working, not 10 minutes of complaining or staring into space or picking at the lint in her carpet.

I've done that with my kids (10 minutes per grade, so we're up to 50 minutes for my 5th grader) and the only times the homework wasn't completed in the designated time was when my child truly didn't understand the work, and it was good for her teacher and me to know that. Knowing that there is an end time makes it easer for my children (one with ADHD, one without) to buckle down and do the work.

It’s mostly reading! And a math booklet she has to finish each week.
[Post New]02/19/2018 18:53
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Anonymous
Well, in first grade I would not be having my child do homework at all.

But also, in our house there's no screen use for children during the week. (Then we keep them super busy on weekends.)
[Post New]02/19/2018 19:14
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:“No screen time, outside time, or play time until you finish your homework.” Walk away and let her sit there until she does her homework. Do not give into the whining - put on earphones and listen to music if you need to do so. Let her whine to herself.

I feel like I’m always recommending this book on this forum, but in case you haven’t seen the rec, you should check out “Setting Linits with your strong-willed child” about how to create and enforce boundaries without using threats. It’s good even if your child is not strong-willed.


I disagree with this for a 1st grader. Especially this time of year, it is more important that she get outside and run around for an hour or so than that she rush home to do homework.
[Post New]02/19/2018 19:25
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Anonymous
Does she read at other times during the day? My kids wake up early so they usually read after breakfast since we also don’t have tv during the week. If she does read other times I would count that as homework. To be honest, I would count you reading to her also. Pushing reading too hard can make a kid dislike it.

Some kids do need to unwind after school. Tell her she gets 20 minute iPad time or 1 22 minute show. If she whines when it goes off, she loses the privilege the next day. Don’t let her earn it back. Sit with her to do the math packet while she has the snack. Try to make it fun and be silly with her too. It’s a long day for these kids!
[Post New]02/20/2018 12:37
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froggymom
Member Offline
Don't blame yourself kids are always testing us to see what they can get away with. It's a long school day for a first grader. She needs some time to have a snack and unwind a little. Then it is time for homework. When it is done well and to your standards, then it is time to go out and play or time on the ipad. Be firm.
[Post New]02/20/2018 12:43
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Anonymous
Give her a snack and screen-free break after school. Then, after a reasonable time (20-30 minutes?), it's homework time. You can even connect it to specific time on the clock, so the clock, not you, is to blame. Screen time can't begin until some set time after that, so rushing through homework won't help.
[Post New]02/20/2018 12:45
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Anonymous
Firm routines are key. She'll whine and fuss about it at first, but most kids will ease up on that once the routine becomes ingrained. For a routine, I wouldn't give screen time before homework, make it a reward for when homework is done. There's so much research showing that it's so much harder for kids (and adults) to break away from screens than other activities, so by letting her go right to the screens you're setting up both of you for a tougher battle. After school, she has 45 minutes to play inside or out and have a snack, at which point she sits down and does homework. Keep homework to a reasonable time for her age (probably around ten minutes, not including reading), and when she's done you both sit down and review the homework together to make sure she's done it properly (which doesn't mean everything has to be correct, just that she needs to have followed the instructions, things are written legibly, etc.). Once she's make any needed fixes, she's done. After enough times of having to sit through the review and redo, she'll probably start doing her homework more neatly/properly because she'll get that there's no actual time saved by rushing through it.
[Post New]02/20/2018 13:01
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Anonymous
My seven year old also avoids/procrastinates with her reading HW.

I think it has less to do with setting limits, and more to do with my child's lack of fluency. Of course, the solution is to keep reading & building fluency.

Did you try reading alternate pages with her? Or doing two five minute segments? Does she have to read a amount of time or a certain number of page?
[Post New]02/20/2018 13:41
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How much homework does she have? I would tell her that she needs to work hard -- doing her best work -- for 10 minutes (not including reading). You will write a note excusing her from doing any homework not done after that. But it's 10 minutes of working, not 10 minutes of complaining or staring into space or picking at the lint in her carpet.

I've done that with my kids (10 minutes per grade, so we're up to 50 minutes for my 5th grader) and the only times the homework wasn't completed in the designated time was when my child truly didn't understand the work, and it was good for her teacher and me to know that. Knowing that there is an end time makes it easer for my children (one with ADHD, one without) to buckle down and do the work.


But you have no idea how old this kid is. 10. min way be way too little.
[Post New]02/20/2018 13:47
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Anonymous
OP said 1st grade.
[Post New]02/20/2018 13:55
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Anonymous
Your child is manipulating you. Whine and complain? Stop the weekday screen time.
[Post New]02/20/2018 14:42
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:“No screen time, outside time, or play time until you finish your homework.” Walk away and let her sit there until she does her homework. Do not give into the whining - put on earphones and listen to music if you need to do so. Let her whine to herself.

I feel like I’m always recommending this book on this forum, but in case you haven’t seen the rec, you should check out “Setting Linits with your strong-willed child” about how to create and enforce boundaries without using threats. It’s good even if your child is not strong-willed.


+1. First she has to do the homework correctly without rushing through, second you have to check it before she gets up and third you remind her any time spent whining or rushing and doing it wrong just delays her getting up to go play. Never give in to the whining. Just disengage and let her sit and whine.
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