Anonymous wrote:How much would this bother you? Without my knowledge my DH invited his stepmother to move in and be our "au pair." I don't think she'd take him up on it, but still ... It bugs me in large part because DH already leaves me to be the default parent, and now it seems like he just wants ANOTHER female in the house to do his work for him. Not to mention the fact that I am the one who has to do all the hosting work when she visits, so it's not like it's actually less work for me. (I mean, she's helpful, but I have to do all the planning, shopping, scheduling etc etc.) DH also disappears for long stretches of time when she visits and expects me to entertain her.

Anonymous wrote:Good grief, what the HELL are you complaining about???

I know someone whose husband's stepmother started living with them when they had the first of two kids, and it is free, full-time, high-quality child care.

This is a GREAT DEAL for you. Shut up and take it.

Anonymous wrote:I think an au pair has to be from a foreign country, am I correct?

It’s not like you can get a Foreign Exchange Student from Texas.....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much would this bother you? Without my knowledge my DH invited his stepmother to move in and be our "au pair." I don't think she'd take him up on it, but still ... It bugs me in large part because DH already leaves me to be the default parent, and now it seems like he just wants ANOTHER female in the house to do his work for him. Not to mention the fact that I am the one who has to do all the hosting work when she visits, so it's not like it's actually less work for me. (I mean, she's helpful, but I have to do all the planning, shopping, scheduling etc etc.) DH also disappears for long stretches of time when she visits and expects me to entertain her.

Your idea of getting an au pair isnt much different from your DH's version of getting his stepmom to step into that role. It's just men expecting women to do women's work (i.e. childcare).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much would this bother you? Without my knowledge my DH invited his stepmother to move in and be our "au pair." I don't think she'd take him up on it, but still ... It bugs me in large part because DH already leaves me to be the default parent, and now it seems like he just wants ANOTHER female in the house to do his work for him. Not to mention the fact that I am the one who has to do all the hosting work when she visits, so it's not like it's actually less work for me. (I mean, she's helpful, but I have to do all the planning, shopping, scheduling etc etc.) DH also disappears for long stretches of time when she visits and expects me to entertain her.

Your idea of getting an au pair isnt much different from your DH's version of getting his stepmom to step into that role. It's just men expecting women to do women's work (i.e. childcare).

If he can make it work, what's your problem? Jeez..

Anonymous wrote:That’s called a nanny at best. An au pair is not some American relative who moves in with you and making it sound European doesn’t make it any fancier.

Anonymous wrote:How much would this bother you? Without my knowledge my DH invited his stepmother to move in and be our "au pair." I don't think she'd take him up on it, but still ... It bugs me in large part because DH already leaves me to be the default parent, and now it seems like he just wants ANOTHER female in the house to do his work for him. Not to mention the fact that I am the one who has to do all the hosting work when she visits, so it's not like it's actually less work for me. (I mean, she's helpful, but I have to do all the planning, shopping, scheduling etc etc.) DH also disappears for long stretches of time when she visits and expects me to entertain her.