How to “announce” separation?

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[Post New]12/27/2017 08:38
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Anonymous
I don’t want to announce it, but how did you deal with parents/family/friends if you are getting separated or divorced?

And what about future plans? FxDH and I have a number of trips planned in January with my side of the family. One is a house that was supposed to just be the two of us plus another couple and I don’t want to flake out on them. But then again, not sure how to deal with coordinating transport to/from house. I think the house is big enough for my own room, but I don’t want to make it awkward for the other couple. Not sure how to handle this. Should I just cancel?
[Post New]12/27/2017 08:41
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Anonymous
Omg please cancel. I cannot imagine the awkwardness of sharing a house with a divorcing couple. It's highly unlikely your husband even wants to go still.
[Post New]12/27/2017 08:44
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Anonymous
You should cancel all couple trips. Call the host now. Then notify your family.

Best to you in 2018.
[Post New]12/27/2017 08:46
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Omg please cancel. I cannot imagine the awkwardness of sharing a house with a divorcing couple. It's highly unlikely your husband even wants to go still.


Agree. I once went on a trip with a separating couple and it was horribly awkward for all involved.
[Post New]12/27/2017 09:08
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Anonymous
Announce in your blog that you are doing a conscious uncoupling.
[Post New]12/27/2017 09:10
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Anonymous
Cancel the trip, but still pay your share.

As for your family, tell them. Or tell someone and ask them to spread the word.
[Post New]12/27/2017 09:24
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Anonymous
The other couple will surely understand and be sympathetic. Pay what you owe for the rental.
[Post New]12/27/2017 10:04
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Anonymous
Make the announcement and move on and pay your share of the rental.
[Post New]12/27/2017 11:18
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ZachF
Member Offline
I remember sending out Christmas cards that included a family photo with her not in the picture. That worked. As for telling people, just start telling them, starting with the biggest known gossips. They will get the word out for you.
[Post New]12/27/2017 11:30
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Anonymous
ZachF wrote:I remember sending out Christmas cards that included a family photo with her not in the picture. That worked. As for telling people, just start telling them, starting with the biggest known gossips. They will get the word out for you.


Yeah, the second part is how I did it. My mom’s side of the family are all big gossips so they took care of it for me. As far as friends and co workers, I told my closest friends and one of them is also a gossip and she told some people. I was fine with that; it saved me the trouble. We didn’t have any joint trips booked but if we had I would’ve paid our share so as not to unfairly punish the other people. It sucks to be out the money, but it’s the right thing to do.
[Post New]12/27/2017 11:32
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
ZachF wrote:I remember sending out Christmas cards that included a family photo with her not in the picture. That worked. As for telling people, just start telling them, starting with the biggest known gossips. They will get the word out for you.


Yeah, the second part is how I did it. My mom’s side of the family are all big gossips so they took care of it for me. As far as friends and co workers, I told my closest friends and one of them is also a gossip and she told some people. I was fine with that; it saved me the trouble. We didn’t have any joint trips booked but if we had I would’ve paid our share so as not to unfairly punish the other people. It sucks to be out the money, but it’s the right thing to do.


Thanks. I agree with paying my share, it's more just how to handle it. And what if fxDH doesn't go? Would it be awkward if I went then? It's my side of the family, but they LOVE him, so I'm sure I will get tons of questions (and possibly criticism) that I don't want to have to deal with.
[Post New]12/27/2017 11:39
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Anonymous
Email signature?
"newly single and ready to mingle" picture announcement (duck face is optional)
Take out an ad in the local paper? (too old school)
A well-place billboard can be effective
[Post New]12/27/2017 11:45
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
ZachF wrote:I remember sending out Christmas cards that included a family photo with her not in the picture. That worked. As for telling people, just start telling them, starting with the biggest known gossips. They will get the word out for you.


Yeah, the second part is how I did it. My mom’s side of the family are all big gossips so they took care of it for me. As far as friends and co workers, I told my closest friends and one of them is also a gossip and she told some people. I was fine with that; it saved me the trouble. We didn’t have any joint trips booked but if we had I would’ve paid our share so as not to unfairly punish the other people. It sucks to be out the money, but it’s the right thing to do.


Thanks. I agree with paying my share, it's more just how to handle it. And what if fxDH doesn't go? Would it be awkward if I went then? It's my side of the family, but they LOVE him, so I'm sure I will get tons of questions (and possibly criticism) that I don't want to have to deal with.


DP. I assume you wouldn't want to take the trip with your ex anyway, somhink about what's the best solution here for you. Not going at all (but still prepared to pay for your half)? Going with them on your own? Bringing a friend? Once you know how you would like to handle it, call them, tell them you and your ex have separated and you'd like to talk about how it will affect the trip.
[Post New]12/27/2017 12:01
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Anonymous
The trip with the other family needs to be cancelled on your end. If money can't be refunded, you need to pay your share.

I wouldn't announce a separation to anyone besides my family and best friends.
[Post New]12/27/2017 12:26
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
ZachF wrote:I remember sending out Christmas cards that included a family photo with her not in the picture. That worked. As for telling people, just start telling them, starting with the biggest known gossips. They will get the word out for you.


Yeah, the second part is how I did it. My mom’s side of the family are all big gossips so they took care of it for me. As far as friends and co workers, I told my closest friends and one of them is also a gossip and she told some people. I was fine with that; it saved me the trouble. We didn’t have any joint trips booked but if we had I would’ve paid our share so as not to unfairly punish the other people. It sucks to be out the money, but it’s the right thing to do.


Thanks. I agree with paying my share, it's more just how to handle it. And what if fxDH doesn't go? Would it be awkward if I went then? It's my side of the family, but they LOVE him, so I'm sure I will get tons of questions (and possibly criticism) that I don't want to have to deal with.


PP here. For me it would depend on who all was going. If the other couple was, say, my cousin and her husband or certain friends of ours, I’d have been totally fine with it because they’re people who are very fun and inclusive and wouldn’t pry for details. And also because they’d definitely cheer me up and keep my mind off things. If it was a trip with family I really wasn’t that close with or I might feel the least bit awkward with, I’d probably skip it. Only you can decide, based on the nature of your relationship. With the right people, the trip could be a great way to have some “you” time.

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