Lunchtime problem - what to do?

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[Post New]09/25/2017 21:24
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Anonymous
Is there a school social worker?
That would be the person to handle this which seems to be some sort of anxiety.
School psychologists are there for educational testing/learning difference management-not really for working through emotional issues.
Talk to the social worker. They often have "lunch bunch" groups for all kinds of reasons.
[Post New]09/25/2017 21:32
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Anonymous
Honestly not trying to be snarky, but your sons needs are not the only child’s needs to be considered. Your kid barfed on the lunch table. Safe to say no one at his table ate lunch today. He may need to eat by himself until he pulls it together.
[Post New]09/26/2017 09:39
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Honestly not trying to be snarky, but your sons needs are not the only child’s needs to be considered. Your kid barfed on the lunch table. Safe to say no one at his table ate lunch today. He may need to eat by himself until he pulls it together.


Dear Snarky - I am thinking about the other children as well. I feel terrible for them and for the teacher who had to clean it up. And this is just another reason why I would like him to get over this - so he isn't affecting others as well.

Jeez. Why do some people always have to pick a fight? Of course I thought about the other ppl involved.
[Post New]09/26/2017 09:46
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Anonymous
Sigh - I feel like parenting is no joke - when we were all pre kids and day dreamed about rocking them in the nursery and singing lullabies and now they are suddenly barfing on the lunch table (I had my own call with the guidance counselor yesterday b/c my child got hit on the playground - twice this week - if there isn't one thing there is another). Anyway, I'd see a therapist - it may be nothing it may be something - my arm chair diagnosis is some kind of anxiety, but regardless poor kid can't go to lunch afraid to eat - I'd request he eat in the guidance counselor's office today to just give him a break and allow him to eat while you get a referral from your ped. And, I'm sorry - it's an extra stress that will probably resolve but still another thing to worry about
[Post New]09/26/2017 10:06
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Anonymous
I would try to go into lunch one day if you can, just to observe (maybe not sit with him). The lunchrooms are noisy, smell horrible, crowded and dirty. My son was disgusted by other kids who would mix their chocolate milk with their food, put ketchup on it and then eat it. That is disgusting!

I would tell him that I know there are some gross thingsthat happen at lunch. If you feel like you might get nauseous, get up from the table to get a drink of water or ask to use the restroom. Sitting at the end of a table might work too. Kids sometimes get overheated at recess and then the lunchroom is very hot too, which doesn't help.
[Post New]09/26/2017 10:15
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Anonymous
It could be social anxiety. I used to gag at holiday dinners with extended family when I was a kid. He could be already feeling anxious and nauseous and anything gross could be sending him over the edge. See if the teacher will let him eat alone in the classroom with her not paying much attention to him and see if he feels okay doing that.
[Post New]09/26/2017 11:17
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Sigh - I feel like parenting is no joke - when we were all pre kids and day dreamed about rocking them in the nursery and singing lullabies and now they are suddenly barfing on the lunch table (I had my own call with the guidance counselor yesterday b/c my child got hit on the playground - twice this week - if there isn't one thing there is another). Anyway, I'd see a therapist - it may be nothing it may be something - my arm chair diagnosis is some kind of anxiety, but regardless poor kid can't go to lunch afraid to eat - I'd request he eat in the guidance counselor's office today to just give him a break and allow him to eat while you get a referral from your ped. And, I'm sorry - it's an extra stress that will probably resolve but still another thing to worry about


Thanks for your kindness and understanding. Parenting is so hard. Always something to worry about.
[Post New]09/26/2017 11:20
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I would try to go into lunch one day if you can, just to observe (maybe not sit with him). The lunchrooms are noisy, smell horrible, crowded and dirty. My son was disgusted by other kids who would mix their chocolate milk with their food, put ketchup on it and then eat it. That is disgusting!

I would tell him that I know there are some gross thingsthat happen at lunch. If you feel like you might get nauseous, get up from the table to get a drink of water or ask to use the restroom. Sitting at the end of a table might work too. Kids sometimes get overheated at recess and then the lunchroom is very hot too, which doesn't help.


Thanks, Pp. This is some of the stuff that's going on at my son's lunch table as well. He just can't seem to stomach it. One kid has been dipping his apple slices in ketchup. Yuck. Also, recess is right before lunch. Everyone is hot and sweaty and smelly. Now that I think about all this, I'm grossed out too!
[Post New]09/26/2017 11:49
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It could be social anxiety. I used to gag at holiday dinners with extended family when I was a kid. He could be already feeling anxious and nauseous and anything gross could be sending him over the edge. See if the teacher will let him eat alone in the classroom with her not paying much attention to him and see if he feels okay doing that.


Thanks for your suggestion, but he is very social and would actually hate to kiss lunch because he loves being with his friends.
[Post New]09/26/2017 11:58
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It could be social anxiety. I used to gag at holiday dinners with extended family when I was a kid. He could be already feeling anxious and nauseous and anything gross could be sending him over the edge. See if the teacher will let him eat alone in the classroom with her not paying much attention to him and see if he feels okay doing that.


Thanks for your suggestion, but he is very social and would actually hate to kiss lunch because he loves being with his friends.


Kind of goes to show that his behavior could be related to many different underlying concerns. An eval could help tease out whether it's some sort of phobia, social anxiety, or something else.
[Post New]09/26/2017 12:44
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Anonymous
Another recommendation for CBT therapy. It is extremely effective and targeted. It will likely be weeks/months not a year if you nip it in the bud. It's more effective than anti-anxiety medication.
[Post New]09/26/2017 12:47
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Anonymous
OP does this only happen in the lunchroom? I ask because my 2 kids will go absolutely beserk at home if the other one chews loudly or eats with his mouth open -- but at school they are focused on having fun with their friends, not on who is eating what. I guess this is just another vote for therapy; the gag reflex can be distracted!
[Post New]09/26/2017 13:56
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Anonymous
I also suggest an evaluation and CBT. However in the interim maybe the guidance counselor could work with him and he could choose one friend each day to go have lunch with-in a quiet room like the guidance counselor's office for example. So it's not a punishment but a way for him to still be social and be able to eat without all the different stimuli coming at him at once.
[Post New]09/26/2017 14:14
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froggymom
Member Offline
I think it is wise to first check it out with the pediatrician. In the meantime, he could choose one friend to sit with at lunch that doesn't cause any problem. If there isn't anyone ,let him sit alone while he eats. When he is done eating he can join the group. Maybe discuss the problem with the teacher so she is aware of the problem.
[Post New]09/26/2017 19:07
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It could be social anxiety. I used to gag at holiday dinners with extended family when I was a kid. He could be already feeling anxious and nauseous and anything gross could be sending him over the edge. See if the teacher will let him eat alone in the classroom with her not paying much attention to him and see if he feels okay doing that.


Thanks for your suggestion, but he is very social and would actually hate to kiss lunch because he loves being with his friends.


I wouldn't rule it out. Some people have specific social phobias and they might otherwise be normal. Even if it starts off with him being sensitive to gross things, it could turn into a school lunchtime phobia because it's not pleasant to have vomited in front of all his classmates. How about he try to wear ear plugs during lunch or read a book so he's not as aware of his surroundings? Or the pediatrician could prescribe something to settle his stomach.
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