What to expect when emerging from a dating hiatus (esp w using dating apps)?
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Anonymous
| I've been on a two year long dating hiatus and I'm ready to start again. However, I plan on primarily using dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, neither of which were really around the last time I dated. Is there anything I should know as I begin? I realize this may seem like a silly question or I'm overthinking it but I'm relatively young and don't have that much dating experience to start with, let alone with today's technology. |
Anonymous
| If you put "no hookups" in your profile, that is code for "I hookup". |
Anonymous
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Really...??!.....
Not the OP, but I never knew this. |
Anonymous
| They really suck, to be honest. I actually met my current boyfriend on Bumble but it took abut a year of running into him in random places wth friends that I really got interested in him. Just expect dozens of bad dates, but at least you get free drinks/food if you're a girl and conversation practice. I've met a lot of weirdos. |
Lonely_Sojourner
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+1... I recently joined the ranks of online dating about a year ago and I despise it with a passion. Being an "old-school" type of guy from the South, I prefer face-to-face, eyeball-to-eyeball engagements as I rely heavily on gut-feel; not to mention, I have a very outgoing personality and pride myself on being a good conversationalist. Being widowed for the past three years, let me share that learning to date all over again at the "ripe old age" of 50 is tough on numerous fronts. I'll share one story that comes to mind. I was on my fourth date with a very nice lady and invited her to my house for dinner. On a previous occasion, she inquired as to how my wife died and also took the opportunity to ask if I had any medical issues. I replied that I have a annual physical (in August) to include a complete blood work-up and I'm not on any medications. She obviously doubted my response as she later used my master bathroom and took the opportunity to go through the medicine cabinet to verify said claim. How do I know this? She came out of the bathroom and told me. BL - there was no date five!! L_S |
Anonymous
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Septuagenarian shows up at a party, stunning 20-something on his arm. His buddies can't believe it, finally get a chance to talk to him alone, ask him where he met her? He says "online"
Buddies still can't believe it, ask him, how? He says easy, I lied about my age. They say, well we know you're in great shape, stay active and all, but how many years were you off by? He says, oh, I lied by 20 years- she thinks I'm 95! GL OP - I would start with Bumble, you can control the onslaught a little better that way, it won't be so overwhelming for you. |
Anonymous
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I am recently divorced and have been on 17 dates from tinder and bumble in the last 2 months. All but one of the dates were great. No one expected a hook up. I got to meet interesting men and have a nice night out. I have gone out with a few multiple times.
I actually enjoy online dating, although, I am a woman not looking for a LTR. If I were looking at these men as long term partners, I may feel differently. I am just surprised at how many good guys there are out there and how my experiences with OLD have been so positive. Based on what I read, I was terrified and dreading it. The best quality men are from bumble. Woman have to make the first move so the men have to have something to offer to be on that site. Good luck! |
Anonymous
I bet you pay for dinner etc too ! Ha ha |
Anonymous
What? No, I have never paid for dinner on a first date. Why would you assume this? |
Anonymous
I turned to online dating in my late 30s after divorce. At first I had no idea what I was doing and it was terrifying. Dreaded it. But I ended up having a positive experience. I was looking for a LTR, but not at any cost, was in no rush, and open to fun. There are quality people out there. Just be realistic and expect that you will not like everyone and vice versa. There are weirdos out there, but it's easy to screen them out. Anyone I actually met was polite, respectful, and it was fun enough, even if we weren't interested in more. I had some fun...and then ended up meeting someone fantastic and we've been together for 4 years. |
Anonymous
That's crazy! I'm 50, too, and starting on-line dating. Don't hate it, but I've been on more blah dates than interesting ones. I would so much prefer to meet someone in person, accidentally or someone that I see periodically, but life is pretty busy for that to happen, I guess. BTW OP - Match and OKC are pretty decent. I never used the quick "swipe" apps. |
Lonely_Sojourner
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Completely agree with you on both fronts. Like yourself, I'd prefer to meet someone by happenstance. Also, I'm not really into the swipe apps either. POF and OKC are more of my speed as I prefer "quality versus quantity"... L_S |
Anonymous
Women want equality everywhere except dating. It's all about prostitution, anyway. |
Anonymous
| Just curious how it works these days-- do you offer to pay and he declines for the first date? Or does no one offer much less pay for the first date (and do you ever pay)? |
Lonely_Sojourner
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I've been in the dating scene for about a year or so and I usually pay for the first date, simply because I'm old school and chivalry is not dead in my opinion. Yes, I still open doors and assist with jackets and such. Quite frankly, these first dates are really nothing over the top. Usually, its drinks and an appetizer, not dinner at Masseria or Komi. I've probably been on 10 dates or so and none of the ladies insisted that we split the bill or offered to pay, which is fine in my opinion. On a third date, I did invite a lady and her son to a Nat's Game where I paid for her ticket and she insisted that she pay for her son's. L_S |