Has being a parent made you a better or worse person? How?
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Anonymous
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Better.
But I will say not in all areas. My physical health, and maybe other difficult to express areas, would be better without them, I suppose. But I have grown in so many other areas over the last six years. Forced me to break down a bit and choose to see counseling--turns out my problems weren't because of my kids, but the kids forced out some issues that I needed to deal with. I am much softer and kinder. I attribute this to some of the people I have met along the way--seeing how they go about life with kids, and learning a lot from them. And then just the buckle your seatbelts kind of pressure that made me grow up. Maybe I would have anyway, but something about facing the really really hard times with kids, has changed me. |
Anonymous
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^i mean, I knew my kids didn't ruin my mental health. But when I saw it was the only difference in my life...I attributed some of my pain to having them around. Found through the counseling process that obviously that was the surface. The tough stuff had existed prior to my having children.
Just wanted to clarify. |
Anonymous
Yes, because this person represents all SAHMs. I had a coworker once who would play solitaire all day and take naps in the bathroom. This is why I think working women are lazy. |
Anonymous
| I'm only 3 months in to this thing, but I've become much more direct. This might make me a worse person, but I'm much more likely to get what I want and need, which makes my life easier. |
Anonymous
| I'm brand new to it but I'm much more confident in myself then before. I have found that at my deep deep core I am v resilient. That has brought with it a quiet confidence I never had before. |
Anonymous
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On paper, before I had kids I was a "better" person. I worked for a non-profit, volunteered other places, and did a lot more interesting things.
Having kids has made me more tired, selfish with my time and money, and protective about where we live and who we hang out with. So I'm not sure if I am better or worse, but I feel more content with myself now because this is just who I am and this is my life. |
Anonymous
| I don't think either my DH or I changed very much. We are just busier and more focused on long term planning but I don't think we are better or worse or different people than when we first met. |
froggymom
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| I agree that becoming a parent helps to mature us. When I had my daughter, I began to become much more concerned about cooking healthy meals and keeping the house clean and safe. |
Anonymous
| Parenthood has made me not judge other parents when their kids aren't perfectly behaved - or embarrass them. I think 'there but for the grace of God go I'. |
Anonymous
I don't have children. I'm 40, but I found that I went through a lot of things in my late 20s, 30s that kind of triggered the same sort of self-awareness, self-reflection, etc., that you describe. Perhaps it's aging and not necessarily having children. Just thought I'd mention that. |
Anonymous
| I don't think it has changed me very much. The biggest change for me is how fun this little person is and how much she entertains me. |
Anonymous
December babies wahoo! I feel the same way |
Anonymous
| I think I'm totally the same person. Parenting has brought out my best at times, and also my worst at times, and I'd say the same for my partner; but neither of us has really changed as a person. |
Anonymous
| Better on so many levels - more aware of who I am/want to be as a person as I navigate teaching my children values, more empathetic and aware of others situations, certainly more humble! |