Has being a parent made you a better or worse person? How?

[Anonymous]

I would say becoming a parent made me more conscientious about my own habits, littering, recycling, road rage, alcohol, swearing, not cheating or being dishonest because I know my kids will do as I do, not as I say. I am not perfect, but I think having kids has made me walk the line (more often).

I also have gained insight to my own psychology, because watching my own kids go through stuff has stirred memories from my own childhood. I have been able to sort through some unresolved issues that make me act and react to certain things as an adult.

I also think I have learned a lot of positive things from this new generation. Maybe we get the kids we get, to teach us something we needed to learn. An old dog should learn some new tricks.

[Anonymous]

Having kids as softened me up. I think I've become a warmer person after having my son.

[Anonymous]

It has certainly made me a better, more empathetic teacher. For each student who is struggling, I try to imagine how I would feel and what I would want if it was my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has certainly made me a better, more empathetic teacher. For each student who is struggling, I try to imagine how I would feel and what I would want if it was my child.

+1000

[Anonymous]

It's made me more selfish. All I care about right now is my family. Granted, we went through hell to have our LO. Could be we're still getting used to finally being a family and we're just kind of high on it right now. But I know I must be a total bore to everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's made me more selfish. All I care about right now is my family. Granted, we went through hell to have our LO. Could be we're still getting used to finally being a family and we're just kind of high on it right now. But I know I must be a total bore to everyone else.

That's common. The novelty will wear off, and your strength will be tested in time you will come back down to Earth. It happens.

[Anonymous]

It's made me more empathetic for sure, realizing everyone has stuff going on in their lives that you know nothing about, so I try to be more kind.

However, my lack of patience has been magnified.

It has made me incredibly efficient though- which has served me well at work and elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I had three kids pretty close together (3 3 and under at one point) and stayed home with them, and let's just say it was very stressful on both DH and myself.

I take a lot less crap from people in general now. I feel like I've shed a lot of BS and what's left is really who I am. I view this as a positive thing but others might disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's made me more selfish. All I care about right now is my family. Granted, we went through hell to have our LO. Could be we're still getting used to finally being a family and we're just kind of high on it right now. But I know I must be a total bore to everyone else.

But you care about him or her.

I was very self focused before children. In a rigid way. I wanted to be a nice caring person but was very hung up on my own routines and to be honest compulsive (e.g., compulsive exercise) habits. Having kids forced me to snap out of it and being forced to snap out of it (i.e., break the habits) was the best thing that might have happened to me.

So maybe I'm not a better person but I'm certainly a happier person. (And I would have been a crap parent if I'd tried to have kids and still not change, which was my original plan but just not acceptable in the end.)

[Anonymous]

Lazier and more boring, I push through to get them ready for school then hop back in bed for another hours nap, I cut a lot more corners than I used to, really just trying to get through the day, and I'll be nice to you if I think my kid would want to play with yours, even if I don't like you ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lazier and more boring, I push through to get them ready for school then hop back in bed for another hours nap, I cut a lot more corners than I used to, really just trying to get through the day, and I'll be nice to you if I think my kid would want to play with yours, even if I don't like you ...

...and this is why I think SAHMs are lazy and definitely do not have the hardest job in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has certainly made me a better, more empathetic teacher. For each student who is struggling, I try to imagine how I would feel and what I would want if it was my child.

Yes. Never felt more connected to my students than the two years I was teaching children the same age as DC.

[Anonymous]

I think perhaps it has made me a better person. I care a lot less about what other people do actually. We walked out of a party and my DH was like: you are philosophically opposed to everything those people were doing in terms of raising their kids; are you judging them? I realized at that point, I didn't care. I just wanted to concentrate on what was best for our kids. So I don't judge other parents anymore....but perhaps not for the best reason.

[Anonymous]

Parenthood made me more organized and more driven. I was already very empathetic, but I can't even watch scenes of violence anymore - it strikes me so deeply. I've also become more competent and direct, and it has forced me to confront some negative issues from my past. It made me grow up.

[Anonymous]

Better, especially since I had to parent my first born with special needs.