Mom Friend is a Drug Addict
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Anonymous
| I have a group of close friends that I met in a moms' group years ago. I have recently found out that one of them that I am close to is a functioning drug addict/alcoholic. She has hidden it very well but recently has become extremely reckless. All of the girls in the group now know. Her lifestyle includes excessive drinking & drugs every night. She wakes up about noon everyday after the nanny has taken the kids to school, has a relaxing afternoon of lunch and soap operas or a yoga class. Nanny leaves at 4 pm and she starts the drinking/drugs. Her DH is always busy with work and rarely is at home to help out with the kids. Unfortunately it has gotten so bad that she is drinking while the kids are in the car. Open container and all. She is leaving her kids with friends for far too long while she is out partying, etc. Basically she could be on the show Intervention. It is that bad. We have all talked to her about it and she does not see the issue, doesn't think it's a problem, etc. Her father is extremely wealthy and put her in rehab a number of times years ago and it didn't work. What can be done? Do I just distance myself from her? Try to find some rehab help? I'm not sure how much good that will do given that she doesn't want help. She keeps wanting to get together with the kids but I'm avoiding her trying to figure out what to do. This is all new territory for me so am wondering if others have been through this with a good friend or family member? What can be done? |
Anonymous
| If she's intoxicated with the kids it might be a CPS matter, very sadly. |
Anonymous
| Please call cps. Your duty is to protect the kids. Sorry- you sound like a good friend. |
Anonymous
+1 I would have called like yesterday. Imagine the guilt you'd have if god forbid something happened behind the wheel. |
Anonymous
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Drinking and driving with children? You phone 911 every single time you are aware it is happening. You have a moral obligation to report as far a step in concerned.
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Anonymous
| I have addicts in my family and you need to call CPS immediately. |
Anonymous
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You may want to reach out to the husband, perhaps with the support of another friend so it is not just you reaching out to the husband. He may not be aware of the situation and it would benefit the family to let him know before involving CPS or the police (unless of course she is drunk driving that moment etc).
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Anonymous
The husband knows about it all. He turns the other way because he doesn't know what to do I think. He doesn't want to divorce her I know that. I think speaking to him is a good idea though to let him know how concerned I am and see if there's anything we can collectively do. |
Anonymous
| I feel so bad for her kids. Imagine having a tapped out mom whose not all there and a dad whose never home. |
Anonymous
She has said herself that the is essentially raising her kids. Fortunately she is a wonderful woman who takes excellent care of them. When she's not there though, I worry a lot. |
Anonymous
Sorry, meant to say, *the nanny is essentially raising her kids. |
froggymom
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| What a painful and difficult situation for you and your friend. Your concern shows you are a good and caring friend. Sometimes just having a caring person around can be healing for those suffering from addiction. I will be praying diligently for you and your friend. |
Anonymous
| Does she know that you know about her Problem? |
Anonymous
Thank you |
Anonymous
Yes, she has opened up about it a bit. Telling me about the drugs, the drinking, the affairs, etc. If I talk too much about it though, she gets very defensive and shuts down. So it's really is got to be on her terms. She knows what she is doing isn't good but she doesn't want to change so it is a very difficult situation. My heart aches for the kids so much. I don't know how they will ever grow up to be well-rounded, functional adults with so much dysfunction in their lives right now. What I really feel like doing is just laying it all out telling her how much she is messing up her kids. I really don't feel like that will get anywhere though. That's why I'm wondering from others what has worked in dealing with addicts in their lives. |