Help! My normally sweet 7 yr old is pushing me off the edge
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Anonymous
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^^also I'm a different poster than the first one who recommended the kazdin book. I also found it helpful and there are a lot of God tips in that post.
For op, sounds like you need to all leave the house earlier until you figure it out. Is there a playground at school you can use for an incentive to get ready early? |
Anonymous
| Sorry, good, not God. It's not a religious book. |
Anonymous
| LOL, sounds like me every morning. I'm always screaming my head off. My kids are supposed to be out the door at 730. THis morning I went upstairs at 725 to get their butts downstairs and my 7yr old was on the floor naked and crying. Some bullshit about his pokemon cards. I went nuts. |
Anonymous
^^oh and I have no advice. I just figure that one day he will get his shit together. Maybe he will get sick of watching me implode. I figure he is normal and so am I. |
Anonymous
Hahaha, this is us too, with the getting dressed some days. Has to stop in the middle and read a book. 
We are at the "I HATE YOU" phase of 7YOs, so that is fun! |
Anonymous
Oh yes, that too. My 7yr old wrote me a hate note and told me that I was "grounded" from receiving snuggles. |
Anonymous
This is OP...thank you all for your suggestions, I will be trying them! Its also so helpful to know that I am not alone and this ^ made me laugh, so thank you. I am very sorry that you had a similar start to your day...this could have very easily been my son as well! And thank you all for the reminders to relax and not raise my voice. I know this but it is often easier said than done. I will do better! |
Anonymous
| First I offer nicely to help them with whatever (coat, carry backpack etc.) We have been threatening to take away screen time, fast food Wednesdays, ice cream, cancel playdate etc. I still call out to my helpers: "Monsters who eat little girls who won't XXX when their mommy tells them to, you can come out now." Now DD usually laughs and says "There's no such thing as monsters!" while finally doing what I asked, and looking around the room nervously. Sometimes I raise my eyebrow and say "Oh, aren't there?" with a Dexter smile. |
Anonymous
| Say 'I will be leaving in 5 minutes. Please put on your shoes and coat'. 5 minutes later say 'I'm leaving now' Walk out the door and into car. That should cue the mad rush for the car. Stick head out of window and say 'get your shoes and coat, I'm leaving NOW'. That will cue mad rush inside to get in car. Remain calm at all times? |
Anonymous
| I wish this worked for me. We walk to school but this is pretty much what I do with the timeline and giving him a countdown. Today I was so frustrated I left the house and stood outside for about 3 minutes and when I came back for him he was just standing there looking at me just like he was when I left. Needless to say I was not happy! |
Anonymous
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Good luck OP! You've gotten a lot of good advice, and the only thing I could add that I didn't see in the replies yet (sorry if I missed it) was to have a conversation with him about this when it's not happening. Like over dinner or another calm time. "Hey, this has been happening a lot lately. What are your thoughts about why? What can we do to make it happen?"
I've found that when I give ownership to dd (same age) she's more likely to cooperate than if I dictate. Same basic request, she just likes to be in on the planning of it. |
AnnaTjacks
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I would set boundaries for him. I use to do that too as far as getting upset, yelling and screaming, but it didn't do any good. It just made my blood pressure go up.  I decided to get my girls up early. Especially the one that would always be late. You have to show your little one who is in control and be calm about it. I would try various methods. For example, tell him if you can't be ready then no TV for a week 2 weeks or anything he likes to do. Like, take toys away or games. Why does he refuse to put his coat on? You have to set guidelines and stick to it. This is what worked for me. My last child would really cut up in school and I would just take everything away from her, games, no TV etc... It worked after doing that a couple of times. I wasn't mean, I still showed her love, but there were things that I would not tolerate. Here is an article that you can read. http://bit.ly/2jCnRYv
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Anonymous
| Just walk out the door and head for the car. I'd bet he's racing behind you within a minute. |