regifting SIL

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[Post New]11/25/2016 11:25
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Gonna say I do the same thing when my kids were little. Two October birthdays + Hanukkah coming early and we'd spread it out. Even with Christmas gifts as well - many of the people (aunts and uncles) who gift at birthdays don't gift at Hanukkah or Christmas (different families) so it would be held for that. Was never any sort of pecking order or any mean feelings on my side, and as they get older it doesn't happen, but I don't think it was meant to be a slam or "cheap" of her.


It is not a big deal if she gives it to the kid at a random, later time with "Look what auntie gave you. Lets draw a picture of the train to thank her."

It is terribly rude for her to take the gift and claim it is from someone else, especially from herself or Santa, and never have her kid thank the original giver.

If her kid has too many presents, let the giver know.


+1 It's weird and a bit rude for SIL to just say, "We're telling the kid that your gift actually came from Santa." If she had said, "We wanted to save some gifts for Christmas, so he hasn't opened the train yet, but when he does we'll let him know it's from you," that would be perfectly reasonable. Accepting gifts from relatives and then saying they came from Santa is not polite. (Unless the gift-giver is in on that plan.)
[Post New]11/25/2016 12:29
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Anonymous
I wouldn't have a problem with the timing change, but with her no longer acknowledging you as the gift giver. I think that is a mistake- gifts from family members who hit it out of the park are more memorable than gifts from Santa. It could have been a nice memorable gift between you two.

I'd have just muttered something like "is there a reason it can't still be from me?"
[Post New]11/25/2016 12:33
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't have a problem with the timing change, but with her no longer acknowledging you as the gift giver. I think that is a mistake- gifts from family members who hit it out of the park are more memorable than gifts from Santa. It could have been a nice memorable gift between you two.

I'd have just muttered something like "is there a reason it can't still be from me?"


I know that it's 100% up to her what happens with the gifts so I was adult about it and said oh ok. I just wish the present would still be from me.
[Post New]11/25/2016 12:36
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doodlebug
Member Offline
I'm a jerk...I'd still let the kid know it was from me next time I saw him. I'd say did you like the train I gave you for your birthday? Well...unless the kid was really little...like under 3 in which case they neither know nor understand. Toys just show up at that age.
[Post New]11/25/2016 15:05
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Anonymous
I don't think what she is doing is that strange. I do think her telling you is odd. Maybe she didn't want you to mention the train at thanksgiving.

When my kids were young, they got so many gifts. I exchanged/saved/actually regifted toys often. We just didn't have the space for all the toys. I would never tell the gifter though. Of course I thanked them.
[Post New]11/25/2016 15:17
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Anonymous
She is graceless, but sometimes you do what you do to fight the fact that the kids get WAY TOO MANY GIFTS.

[Post New]11/25/2016 17:48
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I would be ok with them saving it but would still want the kid to know it was from me.
Next time give him his gift in person OP


Same here. Fine to save it for another time but it should still be from OP.
[Post New]11/25/2016 18:02
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Anonymous
How old is the child?
For Christmas, don't send anything, but say that you are going to give it to him in person when you see him next time. Same thing with birthday gifts.
If she cannot simply give your gifts without too much rearranging, just do it yourself.
[Post New]11/28/2016 09:30
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Anonymous
OP here. I talked with SIL about the gift. She approached me about it. I guess there was a misunderstanding. BIL(SIL's DH) wanted to put the train under the tree, but not as a gift. He wanted to use it as a decoration and SIL misunderstood.
[Post New]11/28/2016 17:37
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Anonymous
She is letting you know so you do not say anything. It sounds like she thinks your gift is generous enough to be a Santa gift and did not want her kid to have too many gifts. She is not putting her own name on it, she is putting Santa.

Think about why you bought the gift. It is to make your nephew happy? Or to get the credit?
[Post New]11/29/2016 03:03
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Anonymous
Lots of SILs regifting presents and letting people know while going through Black Friday ads...


http://community.babycenter.com/post/a64863958
[Post New]11/29/2016 03:10
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked with SIL about the gift. She approached me about it. I guess there was a misunderstanding. BIL(SIL's DH) wanted to put the train under the tree, but not as a gift. He wanted to use it as a decoration and SIL misunderstood.


Okay, that makes sense. Is your SIL always that dim?
[Post New]11/29/2016 08:47
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Lots of SILs regifting presents and letting people know while going through Black Friday ads...


http://community.babycenter.com/post/a64863958


Same SIL.
[Post New]11/29/2016 08:48
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked with SIL about the gift. She approached me about it. I guess there was a misunderstanding. BIL(SIL's DH) wanted to put the train under the tree, but not as a gift. He wanted to use it as a decoration and SIL misunderstood.


Okay, that makes sense. Is your SIL always that dim?


Yes. She really is.
[Post New]11/29/2016 09:17
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Anonymous
^^^ LOL!!
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