While I totally understand your concern OP, keep in mind that at 33 years old, she is a fully grown woman & needs to learn how to navigate real life on her own now.
Many life lessons need to be learned through actual experience. This applies to many different types of situations she will go through. Sometimes being "taught" by another, perhaps wiser person may backfire. Us humans are pretty stubborn & like to prove others wrong anyway. I say keep your mouth shut on this + let her make her own choices. Offer friendly support and if and when she will need you for advice, etc., then your loyalty will be treasured. ![]() |
I would try to figure out why you are so concerned. She might sense it.
Can you give her a vote of confidence instead? She needs to know she can make her own choices and navigate the outcome good or bad. What's the worst that could happen? Try not to protect her. She needs to learn to protect and take care of herself in a way that lets her embrace life. |
Stop with this. Be her friend. There for her if she asks for advice, or wants to confide. |
Hopefully she will sleep with him soon. Would hate to see her go into marriage without knowing if they are compatible |
Maybe. Or, you view her as a surrogate little sister, that you can control? |
No not at all. She was the one to tell me she views me that way. I admit I was honored as I have no sisters of my own. I have never tried to control her, not everyone has ill intent. Like I said I'm very proud of her for all the changes she mad to her life over the last year. |
That's my view. But maybe she doesn't need varied experiences or maybe limited experiences will work in her favor. |
Who's to say it won't work? |
My spouse was a Virginia and had never dated until me. Still going string 22 yrs later! |
Ha ha virgin, not Virginia! |
Real friends will be honest with someone when a problem may be happening. However, the OP said the wedding is next year. There are 4 months left in the year, as far fetched as it could be, it could be a January wedding (and probably a small one).
|
Just spend some time with them and get to know them both (I say both since it sounds like she is becoming a new person). Perhaps he is a wonderful guy who just can't believe his luck that a wonderful woman without years of baggage has been out there all this time. See what they are all about before you worry. Lots of us are happily married to guys we met in high school or college so we don't have a wealth of experience with other people. It's not a prerequisite. |
Who cares if it was fast? If DH and I hadn't been 18 when we met, we would have gotten engaged and married in about that period of time. The long relationship prior to engagement and marriage hasn't really fixed divorce or incompatibility rates. |
6 months is fast but not THAT fast. Chances are they have spent every moment of the last 6 months together. It's also likely that they both felt like -- this is the one -- within weeks or a month or 2 but continued dating to make sure. You're acting like they met last week and are getting married on Labor Day weekend. |
I know lots of happy marriages that started with fast engagements or were the first real boyfriend. At the time I was concerned but they are very happily married a decade later. |