35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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08/27/2016 11:03

Subject: Re:35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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DiverDown
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Joined: 08/26/2016 17:22
Messages: 27
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Anonymous wrote:

DiverDown wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

DiverDown wrote:You sound like you are willing to go without a physical relationship . Not everyone can endure that

I did it for years in my marriage. A few more years won't kill me.

I feel the opposite. Wasted years with no good sex in my marriage. I won't waste any more time now that I am divorced

The problem is I just don't know who to trust. Dating is so different than 20 years ago.

Online chats can help build trust. Then you can see if it is a good match.

Trust in a FWB relationship is defined by honesty. Don't deny your current needs in fear of what might or might not happen.

profile p.m.

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08/27/2016 11:34

Subject: Re:35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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Anonymous

DiverDown wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

DiverDown wrote:You sound like you are willing to go without a physical relationship . Not everyone can endure that

I did it for years in my marriage. A few more years won't kill me.

I feel the opposite. Wasted years with no good sex in my marriage. I won't waste any more time now that I am divorced

+1. That's giving way too much power to someone who didn't have your best interests at heart.

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08/27/2016 11:34

Subject: 35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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Anonymous

37 year old male here. If I were single and there was some emotional and physical connection I would date you.

For the record I prefer woman size 8-12. Not hard limit for me just what catches my eye. More depends on how the woman carries/presents herself than anything else.

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08/27/2016 12:19

Subject: Re:35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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Anonymous

DiverDown wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

DiverDown wrote:You sound like you are willing to go without a physical relationship . Not everyone can endure that

I did it for years in my marriage. A few more years won't kill me.

I feel the opposite. Wasted years with no good sex in my marriage. I won't waste any more time now that I am divorced

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08/27/2016 14:15

Subject: 35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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Anonymous

Most people are out of shape and overweight. That doesn't mean you are obligated to date people you are not attracted to.

IMO, only about 15-20% of people (either sex) are truly "attractive."

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08/27/2016 18:08

Subject: Re:35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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Anonymous

you date this

https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Wand-Premium-Essentials-Controller/dp/B0089175GE/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1472335286&sr=8-1&keywords=hitachi+magic+wand

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08/27/2016 21:38

Subject: Re:35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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Anonymous

OP, I was in a very similar situation with one DD at 33. Did the online thing a bit and met some nice, seemingly normal people but no one really stuck long-term. The better relationships have been friend set-ups with divorced men. Older, some with kid(s), some without. It is hard, but if you ultimately want to be with someone, you have to put yourself out there and try. Your happiness is important for your kids. If you want to be with someone again, but are not dating because you feel like you should always be putting them first, it only does them a disservice longterm. There's a way to strike a balance between prioritizing them and their needs during this time, while also making sure you're finding what you need as well. Obviously I'm not saying neglect your kids, but it's in their best interest for you to be happy.

Do you have any friends who know single/divorced men? Also, I found that once I started online dating and telling people, I got a lot of offers to be set up. Good luck!

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08/28/2016 04:40

Subject: 35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:37 year old male here. If I were single and there was some emotional and physical connection I would date you.

For the record I prefer woman size 8-12. Not hard limit for me just what catches my eye. More depends on how the woman carries/presents herself than anything else.

You are awesome.

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08/29/2016 12:46

Subject: Re:35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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Anonymous

So I was in this situation. I was 43, one kid, making $160k, own my home, and divorced 2 years. I'm in very good shape. Initially I had 50/50 custody and used my noncustodial time to stay in shape, but also wanted to meet people. I dated a few times and then my custody situation shifted (XH moved out of area). I stopped dating, to keep my focus on work and parenting. One of the guys I had met was so sweet. He'd go grocery shopping with me as our dates on the weekends I did not have DD. He helped me organize her birthday piñata! So fast forward two years: we married!

I guess I'd say date because you never know, but don't feel like you have to commi to anything....

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08/29/2016 13:01

Subject: 35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would date a 35 yr old divorced mother of 2 if -- she was emotionally stable, she had built healthy boundaries with her X, she had a BMI <25, she didn't make me treat her like a helpless princess, she was open minded about my politics & life choices, and she still knew how to enjoy life! Don't give up!

I make $175K, own the house, can run the household, have very clear boundaries with the ex, and I'm willing to discuss politics. I have no idea what you mean by life choices. My BMI is under 25 but I don't want to date someone that cares about something like that.

Oh, come on. Everybody cares about the physical appearance and health of their significant other.

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08/29/2016 13:28

Subject: 35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:43 yr old divorced with 2 kids. I don't date. I don't have the time, energy, or desire to put the effort into finding someone and having a relationship. I put my relationship efforts into my kids.

That's not to say, I don't have a life---I take classes, have dinner with friends, entertain at home, volunteer at the sr. center. I enjoy my life but it just doesn't have room in it at the moment for someone else.

Especially a divorced dad with kids--who would be my target population. I have no desire to deal with their ex wife and kids and I have no desire for them to deal with my ex and my kids.

When the kids are out of the house, I'll consider dating.

I agree.

I encourage both of you to reconsider. My mother was 45 when my parents split up and she had so many redeeming qualities at that time. Instead, she festered in her rage, dealt with cancer, lost confidence bc of her treatments, and felt she was never lovable again. 30 yrs later, I wish for her sake that she had made very different choices. She is so lonely, despite having regular interactions w her kids and grandkids.

Like not having cancer? OMG.

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08/29/2016 13:44

Subject: 35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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Anonymous

You date who you want. Remember you're a mother first, so that's going to be thing that is always on your mind. I'm a divorced 37 year-old male. I'm in great shape, love hanging out and love my kid. I have 50/50 custody for the most part. She has my kid more that I do sometimes so it's more a 55/45 bit. Regardless, I've dated divorced mothers and can tell you this . I don't have to explain much. They get it. Try telling a single person who has no clue what parenthood is like about why you have to call off a date or excursion because I'd s six kid or a dance recital. They don't get it.

Of course their is baggage. Everyone has it at our age. I was dating s 35 year old lady for a while. She was hot, good looking, good career, loved sex. Had to cut her loose. She's get pissed off when I had to cancel a date or couldn't hang out late because I had my child the next day. I know someone will come along. It gets lonely sometimes but I just hang around my kid and it goes away.