Do you have a clinical diagnosis of BPD or is this something you tagged her with based on reading DCUM and some books? |
Does she have Bipolar disorder? Or Borderline personality disorder? |
You're horrid. "If it's lung cancer, I'd seriously reconsider the marriage, honestly. If Parkinson's, be gentle and caring." You have some really screwed up standards, PP. I hope you make them abundantly clear to anyone who wants to be close to you. |
+1 And even a clinical diagnosis of BPD merits a second opinion. |
You sound like a caring and understanding husband – God bless your heart! Since you mentioned that your wife has abandonment issues, I would suggest that you seek the help of a professional counselor. If you need help in finding one, I’d be happy to recommend. Sending you prayers! |
Are you familiar with the two? Np here. Bipolar is generally treatable, whereas Borderline is not (generally). Bipolar disorder can really vary in severity person to person, but many people with bipolar gave decent insight and want to help themselves so they can function. In general, those with Borderline personality disorder, by definition, aren't very insightful, don't believe they need help, and therefore believe their behavior is fine and will blame you for everything. In general. So, your analogy doesn't fit. |
If you reward the behavior, she will continue it. |
OP are you the one with cancer? If so I would consider this your golden ticket out. |
Not necessarily true. Borderline can be managed (with a lot of work.) Also, borderline tends to improve with age and most people with borderline will lead relatively normal lives in their 30s/40s if they don't kill themselves first. |
Bipolar disorder is not "treatable", PP. It's "manageable", if you're dedicated to treatment, and have good medical providers/counselors & good support. "Borderline" (which is a contested diagnosis even among mental health professionals) can also be managed, with proper support/treatment. Either is subject to relapse/problems, due to non-complicance with a treatment plan, external stressors, etc. Also, there are varying levels of mental illness with both Bipolar and Borderline. So to say that one is a dealbreaker while the other is a call for more love and support is supremely irresponsible and ill-informed on your part. You either love someone as-is and work through whatever life throws at them/you, or you have a problem with doing that and you bail. But that's about YOU, not them. |
+1 to 18:15. We aren't talking about antisocial personality disorder here. |
She needs to seek medical attention for this ASAP.
Only a good medication will be able to make her better + get her well. There is not a thing you can do for her. It is literally impossible for a layman to cure mental illness. Unless there is fairy dust involved somehow. |