Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a horrible marriage, husband is constantly berating me. Called me fat, lazy, stupid, worthless, nasty, etc. It's nonstop and in front of my kids. I know it's bad and I need to get out but I feel trapped. I'm mostly a SAHM but work when my younger son is in preschool. However that job isn't very reliable and doesn't pay much. I'm tried to wait another year to leave until my youngest is in kindergarten but things are escalating quickly.

I've been applying to jobs but haven't landed anything yet. The only full-time job I could find would pay barely over minimum wage and I wouldn't be able to afford childcare, an apartment, food, health insurance. Husband has brought up before that I need to get a job if I leave him because he won't pay child support. I understand that isn't legal but the time it takes to get him to start payments my boys and I will end up in a shelter. Any amount of child support I get wont be enough to afford a 1 bedroom apartment in this area.

I can move away from DC and probably find a job, fairly easy but then I move them away from their dad.

Is my only option to give my husband full custody of our kids? are there any services in montgomery county to help people like me financially? My closest living family member lives 600 miles away.

Family Justice Center in Rockville, for domestic violence, but it sounds like this is emotional abuse, so I'd ask. It's a one stop shop for legal advice, protective orders, counseling, job counseling, therapy for you and the kids, housing leads. They can at least direct you to resources if this doesn't rise to the level of domestic violence.

https://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/fjc/

Can you talk to a lawyer? They can lay out some options for you, like being able to STAY in the house with the kids, and yes, he has to pay child support. Potentially alimony but I wouldn't count on that. The attorney can file for pendente lite child support to keep you going while waiting for court.

Not to derail, but emotional abuse is domestic violence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a horrible marriage, husband is constantly berating me. Called me fat, lazy, stupid, worthless, nasty, etc. It's nonstop and in front of my kids. I know it's bad and I need to get out but I feel trapped. I'm mostly a SAHM but work when my younger son is in preschool. However that job isn't very reliable and doesn't pay much. I'm tried to wait another year to leave until my youngest is in kindergarten but things are escalating quickly.

I've been applying to jobs but haven't landed anything yet. The only full-time job I could find would pay barely over minimum wage and I wouldn't be able to afford childcare, an apartment, food, health insurance. Husband has brought up before that I need to get a job if I leave him because he won't pay child support. I understand that isn't legal but the time it takes to get him to start payments my boys and I will end up in a shelter. Any amount of child support I get wont be enough to afford a 1 bedroom apartment in this area.

I can move away from DC and probably find a job, fairly easy but then I move them away from their dad.

Is my only option to give my husband full custody of our kids? are there any services in montgomery county to help people like me financially? My closest living family member lives 600 miles away.

What does this mean? Escalating to...? If the answer is violence, you and your kids need to GTFO right. now.

If the answer is anything else, you need to make plans to get out, but don't light your life on fire. If you leave your kids with an abuser, it could complicate custody issues later. If it's not an emergency, don't shoot yourself in the foot by treating it like one. Just quietly save money and make plans.

But honestly, since you've asked an anonymous internet forum for answers, here's some tough love: You're enabling this behavior. Tell him to STFU. Tell him that he's not allowed to speak to you that way, and if he insists on continuing that behavior, especially in front of your children, you're going to leave with the kids, let the world know the kind of "man" he is, and take him to court for every penny you're owed, plus a**hole tax. Then follow through.

You don't have to put up with some guy calling you names. Set boundaries. Stand up for yourself. That's an important lesson to teach your children, and you need to lead by example.

You clearly know nothing about emotional abuse. Stop victim blaming.