i think im still not over her...

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[Post New]06/19/2016 21:34
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:"Emotionally abusive"

Um, define how. Because that has become a catchphrase in the men's rights movement for basically "this woman didn't cater to me" or "occasionally got annoyed with me".

Same thing with the old narcissist label.


+1000

This is already tired.
[Post New]06/19/2016 21:52
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Anonymous
You didn't love her, you loved the idea of her. The girl you fell in love with during the honeymoon phase wasn't the real her. If she showed you who she really was from the beginning you'd have never fallen for her. You spent most of the relationship trying to get back to the honeymoon phase girl you fell for.

When you saw her again, you didn't miss her. You missed the idea of her, the honeymoon phase girl that you wished, hoped she would be.
[Post New]06/19/2016 22:04
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Hummingbird
Member Offline
I have a him. Wasn't meant to be. Focus on your future.
[Post New]06/20/2016 01:07
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Anonymous
I say you are still carrying around a ton of anger toward what she did to you.

I advise you to seek individual counseling to work through all this bitterness.

If you do not, it will eventually eat you up.
[Post New]06/20/2016 08:33
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Anonymous
You ARE over her.
She was a jerk to you and you're frustrated and embarrassed that you stuck with her for so long.
That will stick with you for a while.
Have a good life and forget her!
[Post New]06/20/2016 10:38
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Anonymous
You need to work on forgiving yourself for letting someone else treat you like that. You are right in that inexperience can play a large part in this but almost everyone goes through something similar where they should have broken up with/never dated another person. Be kind to yourself. And remember, next time around you know what to look for in a partner. Think of it as a learning experience!
[Post New]06/20/2016 11:21
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Anonymous
tnx for help... my biggest problem is that i cant merge two sides of relationship... one day im all angry and depressed because i let it go that far and treat me that way, then another day im all sentimental and thinking about good stuff/nice things she did for me, etc... you know what i mean.

its hard for me to see both at once and admit that this relationship was not good and would end eventually anyway. She was my first so i believe that is a big factor too. There was a period of time i was very happy with her, i mean really happy. but sometimes its like I wish i d never have this memories in the first place - because in the end these hurt more then the bad ones.
[Post New]06/20/2016 13:14
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:tnx for help... my biggest problem is that i cant merge two sides of relationship... one day im all angry and depressed because i let it go that far and treat me that way, then another day im all sentimental and thinking about good stuff/nice things she did for me, etc... you know what i mean.

its hard for me to see both at once and admit that this relationship was not good and would end eventually anyway. She was my first so i believe that is a big factor too. There was a period of time i was very happy with her, i mean really happy. but sometimes its like I wish i d never have this memories in the first place - because in the end these hurt more then the bad ones.


Haven't had a romantic relationship like this but in a friendship I realized many of the times I thought my "friend" was being so thoughtful, it was a way to manipulate people and put herself at the center of everything. There really wasn't anything that turned out to really be thoughtful, genuine, with no ulterior motive ..sad to say. But I also realize there was something going on mentally with her and "you can't change someone that doesn't want to change"
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