Failing at life
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I am going to be 58 this year and I have been a failure at everything I've tried in life. I had a half-hearted career which I quit to raise two kids, who are now college age. Both of them are struggling with the transition to adulthood. I'm not a great homemaker, my house is not nicely decorated and my garden is a weed-ridden mess, and I just bleached half the color out of my dish towels. I don't have a lot of friends. My husband puts up with me because he lives to work and I make that possible for him. I have had a few hobbies in my life and I've been pretty bad at them. Now I have one that I'm astoundingly bad at. Is it too late for me to turn this around and become good at something? |
Anonymous
| It's never too late to turn your life around. Try joining some meet up groups to make new friends. It's amazing how much more fun life is when you have friends to hand out with. What hobbies do you have? If you are bad at them and don't enjoy them, then it's time to find new hobbies! |
Anonymous
| It sounds like you should find a hobby that suits you. Keep looking until you find what works for you. Also, make a list of all the things you've succeeded at. You did marry and you did have kids, which are major life goals for many people. What else? Make a list. |
Anonymous
| Whoa OP, it doesn't sound like you're a failure! You raised two kids, have hobbies, have a house and a garden and a marriage. Enjoy what you have, and don't worry about how you compare to others. There is always someone doing better and someone doing worse. |
Anonymous
|
Life is what you make it. Most of it can be accomplished with a positive attitude.
Make an effort to be up instead of down. Turn I can't into I can. |
Anonymous
| Yeah, I kind of feel like a dope telling myself "I can", when people keep pointing out all the things I'm doing wrong. |
Anonymous
Well, who the hell are these people? Why are they trying to cut you down? Actually, why doesn't matter. OP, I'm sure you are not a failure at life. Lots of people struggle with early adulthood. You have hobbies that you tried even though you aren't (in your words) good at them. So many people don't try anything because they are afraid they won't be good at whatever it is. |
Anonymous
| Also, people who are really good at laundry are boring. |
Anonymous
|
Do you want to be good at those hobbies? Do you want to be good at gardening and homekeeping? Do you want to be good at other things? Have you brainstormed what's stopping you?
It might be worth it to talk with a counselor to find out how you can overcome obstacles, and how you can be grateful for what you have and are good at. |
Anonymous
|
Here's what I've done successfully several times in the past:
Every month change something about your life. For instances- one month start walking a mile every day after work. One month join a book club or a new social activity. One month, dress better and do your hair and makeup daily. Redo your garden. Call someone different daily who is important to you- parents, children, friends. The monthly changes I've made seemed small at the time (like wearing red lipstick daily!) but they really started to make a huge impact on my life and how other people saw me. |
Anonymous
|
Totally randomly this popped up on my FB feed today from the TED Talks. I haven't listened to them yet, but maybe they will provide a spark, OP! Good luck!
https://www.ted.com/playlists/225/talks_to_get_you_through_your?utm_campaign=social&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_content=talk&utm_term=humanities |
Aster302516
Member Offline
Member Offline
| I can understand how you feel. A friend of mine experienced self-doubt and some similar struggles in the past and found it helpful to speak with a counselor. Have you considered getting in touch with one? Should you be interested, Focus on the Family has free licensed counselors that you can call at 1-800-A-FAMILY. My friend found them very caring and helpful. I just said a prayer for you. I don’t know if you believe in God, but I believe He loves and accepts you completely and unconditionally. Hang in there! |
Anonymous
This. You have so much, don't take it for granted. |
Anonymous
| Thank you for the kind comments. Believe me, I am very appreciative of all I have and I always strive to have a positive attitude, but sometimes i feel like I'm just pretending and the sadness lurking underneath just bubbles up, especially when I see my kids having a tough time and I can't help them. |
Anonymous
| Have you been evaluated for depression? I agree with PP that talking with a counselor may be helpful. |