Failing at life

[Anonymous]

Ruined your dishtowels? You must be a total loser.

I'm sorry you are feeling so blue. I suggest it is time for a new hobby, or a simple cause where you can help people in small ways and over time ratchet up your involvement.

As for the towels, whatever. Now you can wash them I. Hot whenever you want. They still dry things, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One has learning disabilities and has been struggling in college and the other is in college and working, very bright but has no clue what she wants to do. Both are struggling socially. I am trying to wean them off the spoon feeding, and having a tough time with it.

You have nothing to do with the issues your kids are having; you sound like a loving mother. 100% better mother than the one I have.

Maybe you're just one of those persons who see the glass as half empty, and that is just who you are. There's nothing wrong with that, but if you're not happy, trying looking at life differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am going to be 58 this year and I have been a failure at everything I've tried in life. I had a half-hearted career which I quit to raise two kids, who are now college age. Both of them are struggling with the transition to adulthood. I'm not a great homemaker, my house is not nicely decorated and my garden is a weed-ridden mess, and I just bleached half the color out of my dish towels. I don't have a lot of friends. My husband puts up with me because he lives to work and I make that possible for him. I have had a few hobbies in my life and I've been pretty bad at them. Now I have one that I'm astoundingly bad at. Is it too late for me to turn this around and become good at something?

Well, OP, I am 48 and came to the forum and clicked on your post because I feel the same way and am looking for answers. Everything is pretty much the same as you, except I quit my career (that doesn't make much money anyhow) to try to give one last try to have kids and couldn't even get a positive pregnancy test, much less a child, before I went through a surprise early menopause. My husband lives to work also. I suspect some ongoing chronic (but low level) health conditions not only contributed to not being able to have children, but also make me less motivated to pursue those hobbies I used to enjoy--just don't have the energy to do them well anymore. Every time I exercise I hurt myself in some way. So, just wrote to say it could be worse

I hope to turn things around too, but even therapy does not seem to be helping at this point. I see all the happy families and think--well I'm sitting at home, exhausted and depressed, by myself in the first area I've ever lived in which I haven't been able to make a single friend in the several years I have been here.

[Anonymous]

OP -- maybe you need a new counsellor and a check on the meds to see if others might work better.

Do try to find at least one positive thing each day .. it can be small such as:

1. I ran and caught the bus
2. the woman at work smiled at me
3. I said hello to a stranger
4. I loved the color of the flower
... you get the idea.

Than, try one new thing a month. It can be small like:

1. I walked down a different street
2. I gave a compliment even though I was afraid
3. I got a library card
4. I took a new dance class
5. I reached out at Starbucks to start a conversation

... write the steps down. You'll be proud at the progress you can make.

... life is not a movie...we all see great stuff at movies and on tv. Most people's lives aren't that glamorous. Embrace what you have and find religion, meditation or a moment of silence. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Hugs to you both. I'm feeling same way fur to working, going to school on days off (online), moving, and being a Mom. Too many things happening at once so on edge all the time (but the end is in sight, cutting hours and moving by end of June). Ended up bursting in tears talking to my Mom, which helped. Have a good sob, a bath, some tea than make one goal to accomplish (easy to start) and hope joy finds you