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Haven't slept through the night in five years
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Anonymous
| When my first child was born - I did not know what to expect - the 1st few weeks of "no sleep" seemed reasonable. When I started to get a little cranky - someone suggested this crying out method. We tried it and after 3 or 4 nights - boom - he was sleeping through the night. I was a very smug parent, I must admit. I felt like I had it figured out and anyone who couldn't get their kid to sleep, or "gave in" to the crying just wasn't trying hard enough. Then #2 came along. I was fully expecting the same results! Pay-back time! He did not sleep through the night or nap consistently til after he turned one. I was exhausted! Bottom Line - every kid is different and no parent can tell another parent what works or what is right. Try whatever sounds like it might work but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't. And also - don't judge others. Although my older child was a great sleeper - he did go through phases where he came into bed with us at night, etc. But all of these things are just phases - I also remind myself that before long - they are grown and gone - we won't be snuggling in bed forever. As much as I love my evenings and nights to be child-free - I remind myself constantly I will be missing them soon enough! |
Anonymous
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Thanks, PP, for a sanity/perspective injection to this thread.
And, you know, lack of sleep affects everyone differently. I have been short with everyone and marginally humorless on and off since our 10-month-old was born. My husband (who is working, not napping and the one getting up with the child in the night for the last two or three months) is totally fine. I had to be away from home for five days last month. I missed the baby like crazy, but I was in a good mood ALL THE TIME because I finally had gotten enough sleep! When I read a post like the OP's, I know that her situation would be physically untenable for me. I have always needed more sleep than anyone I know and I still do. I never pulled all-nighters in college, rarely stayed up or out past 2AM even in my roaring 20s. This particular physical limitation most definitely informs my parenting, but I know that it doesn't make me a bad, uninvolved or unloving parent. And if you met my kid, you'd know it, too. |
maynie
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| I agree I don't know how anyone can go for so long without at least 4-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. It just seems dangerous to me. I fall asleep behind the wheel if I don't get enough sleep. I've been lucky with my daughter though. She has always slept soundly and even as a newborn didn't wake up before 5:30 am. Now we wake her up every morning, around 7 am to get ready to go. I do know this isn't always the case, though. Every kid is different. |
Anonymous
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I'll see posts on DC Urban Mom about how important it is to eat right (nutritionally, organically, no fast food, etc) and exercise (worries of childhood obesity, keeping kids from too much TV, etc). SLEEP is just as important as eating right and exercise.
If your child isn't getting enough sleep... if you aren't getting enough sleep... it is just as imperative to you and your child's health that you do something to fix it. To the Mom who says that CIO is cruel but is up several times a night with her kid... and she says that CIO is for selfish parents and that "parenting" continues even in the night (forgive me...I couldn't remember if she is on this thread or another similar one running parallel to this one!): Well, parenting really is about making sure your kids are as healthy as you can make them. It takes hard work and real parenting effort to make the choice to CIO or get expert advice and follow through with it. If you can do something to get everyone enough sleep, do it. One of my cousins had a son and decided to just let him win the sleep argument... he didn't sleep as much as he should. The pediatrician finally called them out on it because the child wasn't growing well. The doctor made it clear that you need sleep to grow (just as important as nutrition). All kids are different. Find what works for you. But do whatever it takes to help your children (and yourself) get enough sleep to thrive. |
Anonymous
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My oldest is a terrible sleeper, and the youngest is great, but that still doesn't mean I ever get enough sleep. I developed a mirgraine during my second pregnancy, that lasted for about six months. It wasn't until nearly three months after my youngest was born, that I saw a neourologist. He rain some tests, then laughed a bit, and told me my problems were not neurological, but a result of sleep deprovation. He said that he often saw people, who he would think were just crazy, and it was a result of the lack of sleep they were getting.
You need to get away for a night of sleep. See if your DH will watch the kids, and some Friday or Saturday night, just check yourself into a nice hotel. |
Anonymous
| OP here: I agree with PPs who stress the importance of sleep. If we felt that our children were lacking sleep, we would have done more to solve the problem. But the night wakings seem to have minimal impact on them--at this point, each one wakes up once on average, wants mommy, gets mommy, goes back to sleep within a minute. During the day they're bright and cheerful. I don't go back to sleep as easily, and there are periods (usually when they're sick) when I'm exhausted and find it difficult to function. I think most parents go through that from time to time. Usually I'm tired and I'm not going to cure cancer any time soon, but I can manage. Still, after five years of this, counting those last few uncomfortable months of pregnancy, I'm definitely ready to get some unbroken sleep. Their room should be finished next week. Then we'll see! |
Anonymous
| To - OP - good luck with everything. My DS sleeps in our room since we were doing renovations (finally done) but now need to set up his room. Anyway, he'll cry out in his sleep 1-2 a night (not a full waking). Granted, I don't need to get out of bed to resettle him, but once his cry has woken me up, I have a very hard timing getting back to sleep. So, basically, I share you pain (although mine has not been 5 years...). Do what you need to do - after 5 year you deserve (and need) your sleep! |
zumbamama
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|
I'm so out of the loop...what does CIO and COI mean?
<p> For me, I co-slept with DS until he was 3, and he transitioned fine into his own room when I bought him a car-bed. That was easy! My DD, another story. She won't cosleep with me, only my grandmother, she wakes me up occasionally for a drink or a teddy bear, but goes right back to my grandmother. They are all different. I like the reward idea, I'm going to use that for other issues like cleaning up after themselves. <p> Funny thing is, now that I don't have to cosleep anymore, I still only get 5-6 hours of sleep... but I'm hardly ever tired. |
Anonymous
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CIO = Cry it out
COI = probably a typo for CIO |
Anonymous
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Luckily for us, we have a very good sleeper, has been sleeping through the night since 10 weeks and has slept in her crib since day 2 from the hospital. I think every person has their own way of doing things. Some of us let them CIO, some co sleep, some do a little of both. Whatever it is, who says your way is the right way?
To the OP, i hope you find a solution soon. I need at least 7 hours of sleep or I don't function at all. Without it, I'm cranky, snippy, unmotivated which doesn't do well for our family or my full time job. I don't think wanting uninterrupted sleep is selfish. We all need the basics to function, some need more than others. I am one who needs sleep, but I can go hours without eating. Some need little sleep but need to eat consistently to keep their energy up, some need tons of caffeine. We all need something. |