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Preschool and Daycare Discussion
Starting Daycare with 6 month old
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Anonymous
| Hi- different type of question. We found a daycare and are really happy about it. Our little guy will be starting in two weeks and will be 6 months old. Does anyone have any tips/recs or maybe things they wished they would have done or known to help ease the transition and make things easier? We have a week to transition him in which I will be at the center or nearby to help with the adjustment. Other than that I feel clueless and a bit nervous, maybe even some apprehension, as I head back to work and leave him. Please don't say stay home as I am the money maker and have to go back. I've been off for 6 months and can't finagle any more time from my boss. Thanks for your help. |
Anonymous
| Our DS started daycare at 9 months, after 5 months one-on-one with a nanny. My biggest advice is to: (1) make drop off quick -- even if your DS is screaming, give a kiss and hug, hand him off, and get out (if you're really feeling guilty, call daycare when you get to your office just to make sure he's calmed down and doing well); and (2) realize that they're going to do things differently than you do, because it's a group setting, and that he'll adjust to the new routine/way of doing things and be just fine. The first month DS was in daycare was difficult as he transitioned, but he's been there for about 8 months now and LOVES it. Good luck! |
Anonymous
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We started daycare at 6 months. It is actually a great time to start, because they can sit and play with toys (don't need to be held all the time...), but haven't yet developed the kind of emotional attachment, where they will have trouble transitioning to new caregivers. This will probably be harder for you than for the baby!
My only advice would be to practice the new morning routine for a few days before you get back to work. |
Anonymous
| DS started at a few weeks shy of 6 months and there was no transition problem. My advice, like a PPs, would be not to linger to long so that he adjusts to being there without you. DS had no issues adjusting and wasn't concerned at all when I left, and still isn't 5 months later. The other big thing is really just figuring out how you are going to pull off getting out the door in the morning with everything the baby needs for daycare and everything you need for work. That takes some practice! |
Anonymous
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My son started daycare recently at about 1, and one trick we've used if he's upset while we're dropping off his things and no other kids are there yet is to have one of the daycare ladies distract him by taking him down the hall for a little bit. Now we've gotten to the point that they can distract him while one of us is in the room signing in. So even if things do start out rough (and they may not), don't worry, they'll get better.
I also found that it helped that my husband and I did the first day of drop off and pick up together, so I'd have a shoulder to lean on. Finally, advice for you: stay busy at work during the day. That'll help the day go faster. |
mnchkds1
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As a daycare provider, i wholeheartedly agree with the poster who said make drop off quick. I have had parents who linger, and the longer they linger, the more the child expected he was leaving when mom leaves. I have had kids cry when they come in, we get busy with something right away to distract him/her from seeing mommy or daddy leave, and parent calls on the way to work feeling horrible only to hear me say that the crying has stopped and the child is involved in an activity with the other kids. Pickup time comes, and the kids dont want to go home.
Take something familiar with your child. A special blanket, a stuffed animal. Perhaps the scent of mommy on that item will be enough to comfort And definitely, I will take a child away from the door and into the playroom or another room, get them involved with an activity in order to let the parent sneak out. I have no problem with that. Kids have a way of making their parents feel guilty!! |
Anonymous
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1. Be prepared for his sleep schedule to be totally whacked out for a little while during the adjustment.
2. Be prepared for him to get sick a lot--and you too! I hope you didn't use up all your sick days! 
3. The first week when I started DS at 3 mo, I scheduled a couple of half days, then a full day. I tried on purpose to schedule things during that time for me, lke a Dr. appointment, etc., to make me leave and distract me. |
Anonymous
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1. Agree with the quick drop offs and KNOW that your child will likely go through a phase (mine was 9-14 mos.) where they cry when you drop them off. It sucks. But, it ends. My DD now looks at me like "later mom!"
2. Your child will prob be sick more. In our case, it was mostly colds and a couple of big things (like hand/foot/mouth). 3. Your child may not nap. Mine did not for the longest time b/c of the light and noise. She likes it dark, quiet and in her own bed and the baby room was chaos. Better now in the toddler room. But, for the longest time we had some rough evenings b/c she would not nap at all! So, be prepared for that possibility. 4. Ask a lot of questions and be involved. Make sure her teachers and the admin folks know you. 5. That first day of transition I highly recommend you NOT stay in the center. Get your hair or nails done or grocery shop or something. You will make yourself miserable hovering and watching and waiting. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| I agree with those who said it will be harder on you than on your child. I also think the person who said that you should realize that they will do things different than you would or would prefer is a wise mom. I never found the transition time to be helpful to the kids - it was something that was more for me to ease my guilt and ease me away from being with my baby 24/7. The only thing I don't agree with is making drop off quick or sneaking out - and it kind of annoys me to hear from a daycare provider that this is the thing to do. It's what makes it easier for the provider. You have to gauge what works with your kids. For two of my three, it was better for me to ease them into daycare and away from me at drop off, which meant that I needed to budget 10 to 15 minutes. For my other child, it was best to put things into place, get him involved in an activity then leave. But, this being said, no matter how bad it is, it won't last very long. |
Anonymous
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Expect it to be hard on YOU for about a week. I find if I know that misery is coming, it's easier to deal with than to be broadsided by it.
I was told by a veteran day care owner that it's generally easier for a baby under a year old to transition smoothly into day care. They haven't yet reached the separation anxiety phase. In my perfect world, I would have done a week of half-day drop-offs first. I did that for two days before I went back to work, to get used to the morning routine without the pressure of actually also starting my new job, and to see what traffic/dressing baby/etc. was like. I really quickly grew to trust and love my son's caregivers. They were very open and gave me detailed accounts of his day. We discussed things like naps, feeding, playing, or whatever other concerns came up, and we worked together to make changes. I felt like we were a team. That made it so much easier. Drop off: I always say "bye bye sweetie, I'll be back this afternoon. Have fun playing with your friends." Of course he didn't understand that then, but my son at least loves routine, and over time they absolutely start to understand. Now, at 2, it's even more critical to have a good drop-off routine. I tell him I'll be back this afternoon after circle time and his snack. Pick-up: To the extent you can, schedule pick-up for the same time every day. I think they really internally feel that clock, even if they don't understand time. My son gets antsy if I'm 10 minutes late. He watches the routine of moms and dads coming to pick their kids up, and if I don't show up within the same relative order. The only other little transition advice I have is to take his blanket in (if they use blankets), or something else with a familiar smell/feel, for him to have throughout the day. Definitely send a loved paci or two if he uses them. And I followed my son's day care schedule at home on weekends (same feeding times/naps/etc), trying to make his days as stable as possible. I think his sleep patterns really benefited from that, but of course all kids are different. |
Anonymous
| Do the first week of half days only. (Best advice.) |
Anonymous
| I second the never sneak out advice. Look your child in the eye and say goodbye. My DD started daycare at just shy of 6 months, the only crying I had at drop off was one day when I had left her room but came back looking for DH and I scanned the room and walked away, she saw me ignore her and stated wailing. I have had fussing at pick up but only when for some reason she thinks I am not walking over to her quickly enough to pick her up. |
Anonymous
At 6 months, I really don't think this is necessary for the baby's adjustment (though maybe helpful for yours!) |
mnchkds1
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I am sorry my answer annoyed you, however in my 27 years of providing childcare I have never had a child harmed from this, nor a parent upset by it. Making drop off quick, I dont mean by throwing the child in the door, saying good bye, and running out the door. That doesnt work. However it also doesnt work when a parent comes in and lingers and just as the child is settling in, they go to leave and the child begins to cry again, and the parent comes back in and starts the process all over. There does come a time after the first week or two of transition that the parent can come in and say goodbye to the child without the child getting upset at being left. Most of my children transitioned well within a week to two after they began coming. And then began the tears at night, when they didnt want to leave and go home. As for the sneaking out, perhaps sneaking was the wrong word to use. Most times it is the PARENT who has asked me to take the child to the playroom and get her busy with the others. This is usually after the parent has said goodbye to the child, given kisses and hugs and has told the child they will be here after work to pick them up. Once in the playroom, we get busy playing with the toys and the parent may linger in the living room for a minute or so to listen. I only ask that they lock the front door on their way out to prevent someone from coming in while I am in the back with the kids i have had in care. When the child comes out in the living room, most times they dont ask, but if they do ask for the parent, I tell them mommy or daddy had to go to work and will be back for them soon. I have had parents call me on their way to work checking on their child, only to hear them laughing in the background because they are involved with an activity that is keeping them busy and happy. BTW I resent the comment that we providers do this to make it easier on us. I go out of my way to make things easier on the KIDS first and foremost, and then the parents. I have been lenient many times on some of my rules to make things easier on the KIDS and the parents. In this business it is not about what I want, but what the childrens needs are, and the parents. |
Anonymous
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There's a difference between quick drop-off and sneaking out. I would never sneak out, that could really undermine your child's trust, depending on the child. But a quick drop-off routine-- take off jacket, settle them on the ground, or at breakfast table, or in play area - say good bye I love you, I'll be back after your afternoon snack - give them a hug and smile and walk out the door.
I'm not a day care provider, but the kids who seem to have the hardest time when I'm dropping off are the ones whose parents are sticking around for a half hour each morning. |