Anonymous wrote:Have trans friends. They would all be THRILLED if someone told them that they looked like a biological female (not in those words, of course).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say nothing. One of the cardinal rules in treating a transgender is (a) to let them take the lead and (b) not to impose society's views of femininity (or masculinity, in the case of female to male) on them. Saying "you're doing it great!" does exactly that.

NP here. It's a lot of pressure to be constantly worried about saying the wrong thing. I consider myself very open minded and have no problem with LGBT people, but why can't I just talk to them the way I'd talk to anyone else? If I'm constantly worrying I said the ring thing it's going to b hard to strike up a real friendship. That's true with straight people too.

So much this. I am open, live and let live but it is seriously off-putting to have to walk on eggshells and get admonished or "schooled" if you say something "wrong". I'm not the enemy, channel that elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say nothing. One of the cardinal rules in treating a transgender is (a) to let them take the lead and (b) not to impose society's views of femininity (or masculinity, in the case of female to male) on them. Saying "you're doing it great!" does exactly that.

NP here. It's a lot of pressure to be constantly worried about saying the wrong thing. I consider myself very open minded and have no problem with LGBT people, but why can't I just talk to them the way I'd talk to anyone else? If I'm constantly worrying I said the ring thing it's going to b hard to strike up a real friendship. That's true with straight people too.

So much this. I am open, live and let live but it is seriously off-putting to have to walk on eggshells and get admonished or "schooled" if you say something "wrong". I'm not the enemy, channel that elsewhere.

Actually, it's really not polite to comment on people's appearances generally speaking, particularly if you don't know them very well. I am a ciswoman, generally fairly femme, but it makes me uncomfortable when people comment on my appearance. I was always taught that unless you are with good friends, it's generally not good manners to talk about money, politics, religion or appearance.

Gaia wrote:Hi OP. I am a trans woman.

I am very shy and hate having attention paid to me, so while I would be very flattered if you told me, I would still be uncomfortable.

I would much rather be told that I'm beautiful than that I look DFAB. The first is talking about how I look now, while the second is talking about how I looked before.

Anonymous wrote:

Gaia wrote:Hi OP. I am a trans woman.

I am very shy and hate having attention paid to me, so while I would be very flattered if you told me, I would still be uncomfortable.

I would much rather be told that I'm beautiful than that I look DFAB. The first is talking about how I look now, while the second is talking about how I looked before.

Sorry, what is DFAB?