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violent 10 month old?
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Anonymous
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My 10 month old daughter likes to pinch, hit, scratch....just her father and I , she is not around other kids much. Has anyone else experienced this? I can't believe that she knows what she's doing. I am not sure where she is getting this from, I can't say that this is behavior she has seen from us or anyone else. We tell her no, but that doesn't seem to deter her, I think we haven't mastered the "no" thing yet in our house.
Any advice on how to handle this? |
Anonymous
| LOL - yes, recognize that your baby is 10 months old and doesn't know 1) what she's doing; or 2) what no means. She's not violent. She's a baby. At 10 months she's not even in control of her own motor coordination. If she does it, then speaks in tongues and her head spins around and she hurls out split pea soup, well then I'd be concerned. |
Anonymous
| I think most 10 month olds (ok, so I don't really know about most - but definitely our son when he was a 10-month old, and the others I've seen in day care) don't understand 'no' and they definitely don't understand that they're doing something that "hurts" someone else - they're just experimenting with what they can do, and generally the best way to respond is by not getting frustrated, upset or excited in response (they might see it as part of a game), but just patiently and continually redirecting them -- so, when your daughter hits, you can say something like 'we don't hit, we are gentle with the people we love,' taking her hand and showing her how to pat you gently while saying 'gentle, gentle' and be very enthusiastic or excited when she touches you gently. And you'll probably need to do this fairly often while she figures it out. Good luck! |
pollyanna
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| While I agree with the pps that 10 month old babies definitely do not know what they are doing and do not understand "no" - I have never seen a 10 mth old act the way you describe. The worst I have seem them do is scratch someone when they trying to grab them which is obviously unintentional. I have never see a young baby hit or pinch in the manner you describe. That is not to say there is anything wrong and I am sure someone will soon respond who has seen babies that do the same things. |
Anonymous
| PP from 14:32 here -- I don't think the behavior is uncommon at all, based on my son's behavior and the behavior of the other kids in his day care. Kids that age definitely grab onto other people -- parents, caretakers, the other kids in day care -- and can do so in a way that pinches, pulls, twists, hurts! I think hitting is also very common and biting can be as well -- not that any of these things are being done in a way I'd describe as violent, since I think that's intentional, and this is experimenting with what their hands can do -- but I really don't think this is unusual behavior, OP, please don't worry. Both I and the day care teachers have spent a LOT of time telling my son "gentle" - it's perfectly normal. |
Anonymous
| Another person agreeing that it seems normal (and not violent). My baby was always alert and energetic/squirmy. LOVED and needed the swaddle when he was very young. Now at 10 months all that physical energy is expressed as grabbing, flailing, pinching, pulling, chomping. Redirect, redirect, redirect. If only we could enroll these little ones in something like yoga to learn to "quiet" their bodies! |
Anonymous
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I think your baby is just playing. Babies do different things. I can't imagine she knows she's hurting you. She probably does know that you are reacting to it and so she does it because she gets a kick out of the reaction. They can't seem to tell the difference between a reaction of pain and one of laughter. I do think that they're learning cause and effect and this is probably a manifestation of her learning that skill. Don't worry about her being violent. My nephew used to get mad at his toys and kick and throw them so angry! I was worreid he'd have an anger problem but now, at 4, he's so calm and easy going.
I do disagree thought hat 10 month olds don't understand "No". I am about 99% sure that my 9 month old does. Actually, her 9 month handout at the Dr.'s office even said that they can understand now. In any case, it doesn't hurt to move the baby's hands and say "No" in a firm but gentle voice. Usually when we do that my daughter keeps trying. If we still say "No" she will stop and cry a second....when don't react to her crying she stops. Maybe not all babies this age get it though, she's more of a verbal baby. I think most babies develop verbal or physical skills first, so she seems good with words but has very little interest in standing! Try it out and see what your baby does. She'll understand it eventually anyway and if she doesn't understand it doesn't matter, right? |
Anonymous
| Ugh, I have one too. Also 10 months. When I rock her to sleep at night (yes, still rocking--know I'm a "bad" mom), she scratches, grabs, hits, punches, and yes, she thinks she's playing but I leave the room feeling like I lost a UFC fight. My lips and nostrils are constantly swollen and scratched. Anyway, there is not much to do about it but sternly reinforce the no until the meaning is mastered. Just wanted to commiserate! |
Anonymous
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OP - I could've written your post. My DD does the same thing, but she is 8 mo. old, so I understand. She loves grabbing at noses, ears, cheeks, and clawing at nostrils. and eye glasses. Both hubby and I have small little scratches on neck and faces from DD.
We both sternly tell her "No" and pull her hand down gently away from the face, but it is important to understand that this is part of the "exploratory" stage. She is learning hand eye coordination, muscle development, depth perception, etc. so it is actually good sign of reaching those milestones. DD just babbles a lot and really doesn't associate her "words" (like da da) with things or people so disciplining her really is a mute point (not to mention cruel). We say "no" to hopefully start her with word associations, but I think she is still rather young. |
Anonymous
| PP, again. I also want to agree with a PP who mentioned teaching the meaning of gentle, which has actually worked well with my daughter. We repeatedly say "gentle" while lightly touching or stroking her face right after she hits us. It doesn't work every time but has definitely made a big difference since she learned it. |
Anonymous
| OP if it continues for 6 more months, get professional advice. |
Anonymous
| My DD ( 10 Months ) also does this, she thinks she's silly. I think it started with her first tooth, she would chew on anything in front of her, including my jaw, lips, nose, etc. Now she does it because I try and redirect her attention, which of course, leaves her trying to do more of the same! I don't think it's uncommon at all and not malicious behavior. Maybe slightly ornery, I am not worried (yet) about my baby continuing the behavior. Good luck! |
Anonymous
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While posts like the above can be helpful to file away and are meant with good intent (I don't want to offend PP), I don't want them to make you panic and think something is wrong.
People on this board are very quick to offer the idea of getting professional help. I think your child is fine.....well, either your child is fine or all of the children we've posted about in this thread have the same odd problem! Don't be scared to tell your child "No" or "Gentle". Those of us with animals in the house are probably more used to this as a rule! |
Anonymous
| PP here....post above was posted while I was posting....I meant the one ABOVE that one 17:32! |
Anonymous
| 17:32 is ridiculous. It is normal, and it will pass. |