Divorced mother of 2 is there hope for a new relationship?

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[Post New]05/14/2015 23:35
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Anonymous
I married a man who had kids from a previous marriage. I married him because we really do love each other (he's the only person I've ever truly loved in a romantic way). That being said, dating and then marrying someone with kids was a huge hurdle and has required a lot of compromise (yes, I'm speaking from my perspective, but obviously my step kids had to compromise too). So many more complications. Make sure your kids really love and accept your new partner and vice versa assuming it gets to that point. Your relationship is not only about the two of you. Young kids can be a tough sell to new boyfriends and new boyfriends can be a tough sell to young kids. Good luck (I mean that sincerely, and wanted you to know that it can work).
[Post New]05/15/2015 04:02
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Anonymous
Go ahead and leave your marriage for good. No one should have to stay in a marriage just because they feel like they cannot get someone better. In fact, this is the worst reason ever to stay in a miserable marriage.

At 37 you are hardly ready to collect Social Security OP. You are still relatively young and many women your age have started over. So can you.

I say no matter what you look like, make sure you give off the impression that you care about yourself. Put on some lipstick, stop wearing sweat pants to school drop offs and most of all convey a positive vibe to anyone who surrounds you. Smile, be confident and talk to people and ask them about themselves.

In no time at all, I bet you will have the men lining up at your doorstep.
[Post New]05/15/2015 08:27
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Anonymous
I'm a man, and I will say this: you will probably have a harder time finding single men your age and younger who are interested in a serious relationship maybe leading to marriage. They will be willing to date casually. For most single, non-parent men, children are a drawback (someone else's kids, lifestyle change).

Older men and single fathers of all ages are better prospects for the long term, serious relationship.

However, if you're attractive, you'll find all kinds of men who are interested in at least casual dating. All kinds of men will be interested in you and to the extent they can interact with just you, they'll be interested in doing so. If you date when your kids aren't with you (and really, as others have pointed out, it's best not to introduce a guy until it's really likely he's going to be around for the very long haul), you'll be fine.
[Post New]05/15/2015 11:56
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Of course there is. Don't listen to the jerks on the board who wil tell you that unless you are Barbie you won't find love. You will probably go through stages after the divorce where you'll seek out a new relationship right away. Don't jump into anything. You need to give yourself time to figure out what you want in a partner.

OP may find love, but an actual relationship may be tricky. She has a lot of baggage; no need to pretend it will be easy to find an eager taker regardless of how attractive a woman is.
[Post New]05/15/2015 13:00
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am 44, divorced and with a6 yr old. I need to losea good 30 lb but am otherwise decent looking. It is very hard to meet anyone interested in dating me. They are either objectively fugly, much fatter than I am or simply not interested. Having s young kid at this age is huge issue, even friends of friends af not interested in evening meeting me bc they can have their pick of younger women without kids.

Is am pretty much done.


Bull. There is someone for everyone.
[Post New]05/15/2015 13:06
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am 44, divorced and with a6 yr old. I need to losea good 30 lb but am otherwise decent looking. It is very hard to meet anyone interested in dating me. They are either objectively fugly, much fatter than I am or simply not interested. Having s young kid at this age is huge issue, even friends of friends af not interested in evening meeting me bc they can have their pick of younger women without kids.

Is am pretty much done.


Bull. There is someone for everyone.


A brief stroll through Walmart proves this.
[Post New]05/15/2015 13:40
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At least you aren't 43 with little kids. You are 37 with a 5&10yr old.


What difference do those six years make?


As a man, a woman 37 is much more attractive to me than a woman 47 with the same aged kids. If I'm 45, I'm probably dating a 37yr old. if I'm looking for a life partner I don't want one who is still dragging around young children in her 50s. The 37 yr old will have much more flexibility in her later years.


Dude, you're enough to make me think twice about heterosexuality. what an asshole you are.


I'm a 36 year old woman with a 2 year old who is divorcing (for multiple very good reasons), and I didn't find the PP's post asshole-ish. I'm not looking to date now or anytime in the next couple of years, but I imagine I will eventually... and I also wouldn't be interested in doing the young child thing again at the ages PP mentions. My son will be in his late teens when I'm in my early 50s, and I can't imagine I'd want to be figuring out preschools or childcare coverage during breaks when I'm that age (as I am doing right now). I'm not sure why it would be wrong for me to feel that way as I look for another partner in the future; and if it's not wrong for me as a woman, it's not wrong for PP as a man.
[Post New]05/15/2015 13:51
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am planning on separating from my husband. By he time the divorce is final I will be 37 with a 10 year old and a 5 year old. What are my prospects for finding a new relationship? Assume I fairly average looking, financially stable, Pleasant to be around. Give it to me straight please . Right now he choice is between being single and being in a very uNhappy marriage.


The prospects are fine - but give yourself a lot of time to transition out of your marriage and establish yourself as a single person. (And, of course, help your children transition) And, don't go into to dating to find your next spouse - just thinking of it as meeting new people and a way to build a social life.
[Post New]05/15/2015 13:53
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Anonymous
I'm the PP - I got separated at 35. I'm attractive, fun but I am overweight. I had absolutely no problem finding men who were interested -- either through online dating or in person.

I'm 39 now, in a long term relationship and very happy.
[Post New]05/15/2015 14:12
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MaxwellSmart
Member

Offline
It depends on what you are really after.

If it's a long-term relationship you desire, you might have better luck finding someone else with children. The closer in age to yours the better.

If you just want to let your hair down and have some fun, get a babysitter and go to a bar and pick up a young stud. A drunk, horny, handsome man is out there looking for an older, mature, experienced woman, just like you!
[Post New]05/15/2015 14:15
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP - I got separated at 35. I'm attractive, fun but I am overweight. I had absolutely no problem finding men who were interested -- either through online dating or in person.

I'm 39 now, in a long term relationship and very happy.


Exactly. Any woman can find a man in five seconds.
[Post New]05/15/2015 16:25
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At least you aren't 43 with little kids. You are 37 with a 5&10yr old.


What difference do those six years make?


As a man, a woman 37 is much more attractive to me than a woman 47 with the same aged kids. If I'm 45, I'm probably dating a 37yr old. if I'm looking for a life partner I don't want one who is still dragging around young children in her 50s. The 37 yr old will have much more flexibility in her later years.


Dude, you're enough to make me think twice about heterosexuality. what an asshole you are.


Truth hurts.
[Post New]05/15/2015 16:31
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP - I got separated at 35. I'm attractive, fun but I am overweight. I had absolutely no problem finding men who were interested -- either through online dating or in person.

I'm 39 now, in a long term relationship and very happy.


Exactly. Any woman can find a man in five seconds.


Well yeah, if they're willing to date 40 something, unemployable alcoholics who live with their mothers, sure.
[Post New]05/16/2015 06:28
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP - I got separated at 35. I'm attractive, fun but I am overweight. I had absolutely no problem finding men who were interested -- either through online dating or in person.

I'm 39 now, in a long term relationship and very happy.


Exactly. Any woman can find a man in five seconds.


What good is finding someone you don't want to have sex with?

OP, dating in your late 30s with kids is fine. I'm 38 with a tween and in a LTR.
[Post New]05/16/2015 07:15
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Anonymous
I am a 50+ male. My experience is it is all about standards and goals...If you are hot, and looking for someone hot, no problem. If you are like me and looking for someone hot...big problem. OTOH, if you are looking for someone comparable, then when things click, it will be good. For example, I am smart, creative (in a science way), and funny. Oh, and I have a 13 yo DD. I am looking for someone else who is smart, creative, and funny. If someone is looking for that, no problem.

If I was looking for an athlete type build who is 30, I would fail, unless she wants to take care of daddy, as I can not do what I used to do...F***ng cancer and heart disease...

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