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Am I the only who feels completely overwhelmed and inadequate at times?
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Anonymous
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i have 2 DD's (4 & 2). the last couple of weeks have been sheer torture. my 4 yo is going thru the change or something because she is really testing the limits of my sanity and patience. dh was out of town this past weekend and i literally thought i was going to leave them both on the street with signs around their necks. i've tried to do less yelling and threatening as the tantrums have increased. i've also tried positive reinforcements, letting her have her way and ignoring the out of control behavior. there are times when i feel like i'm doing a great job. there are times when i feel like i should have my mom membership revoked. dh and i work f/t, no in-home help... i mean with cleaning, grocery shopping, cleaners, p/u & drop off @ daycare, meals, etc... there is no time. i feel like i am on egde all the time. i look horrible (used to be right cute and shapely). i don't sleep well. barely any sex. just flat out tired and on the verge of tears all the time.
not looking for any advice per se, just want to at least feel like i'm not alone... and vent a little (while the tears flow) p.s. - too friggin' tired to type in sentence case. sorry!!! |
Anonymous
| So sorry OP. Kids really can push your buttons and make you feel inadequate. I wont offer any advice but will let you know that you are not alone and that kids can be pains in the butt... but you know that! Hang in there and take a deep breathe, k? |
Anonymous
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No...you are absolutely not the only one.
First step: deep breath. Second step: recieve hugs from me and all the other Moms who definitely feel like you. Third: At your first opportunity, take a break from the kidlets. You just need some space. You will get through this. You are a great Mom. We all get worn thing especially those of us with two close in age. Hang in there. When the warmer weather comes, it will all get much better. |
Anonymous
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Hi,
You are NOT alone. Let me tell you about me. I work FT as does my husband. I insist on ALOT of help. I have a weekly housecleaner, people to deal with the yard, a handyman service to deal with anything more than hanging a picture or changing a light bulb. My child is in school and up until recently I had a nanny who did p/u and afterschool. She also came early one day per week and did errands for me like grocery shopping, dry cleaning runs, etc. She recently left us for FT employment. Even with all of that help, I am still hanging on by my fingernails. I am exhausated. I look awful. My husband is CLUELESS and in complete denial over the amount of work it takes to keep things running. And when I try to talk to him about it, he gets angry. So I don't talk to him about it. I also don't ask his opinion about whether or not I should hire someone to do something I don't want to do and something that he is never going to do. I also have stopped being helpful. Like if he asks where something is, my response is, "I don't know." If he suggests some life plan that I am not interested in embracing like a year full of team sports for our child, my response is, "I never really played team sports. Don't what to look for in a program. Let me know when you have found some that you like so I can check them out too." Never happens so we do the activities that I am willing to sign on for. Not ideal. Manageable for now. There are many of us in the same boat. And many many ladies with less help than me so I am not complaining just letting you know -- you are not alone and you are to be commended for your hard work and perserverance. Hugs and coffee to you. |
Anonymous
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Yes, I have been there. When my husband and I first started a family, we had no idea how to manage a home and children.
First of all, age 4 is a difficult age - too much crazy energy. Some of the best parenting books say "just when you think you can't take it any more, they turn 5 and settle down." So hang in there. All you can do is try to contain the chaos until you have at least one child over the age of 5. Second, about home management, I've had those low moments when the weight of all the chores and responsiblities is too much. I've gone searching for wisdom from more experienced moms. I've found the best advice from homeschooling moms. There are resources that help get everything on a schedule and chart. I like Managers of their Homes and Manager of their Chores. http://www.titus2.com/d-download.htm Another popular source is. www.flylady.net You can sign up for emails that tell you what you need to do when, to get a good routine going. Once you chart everything, you may realize that you are trying to do too much and asking the impossible of yourself. That was my situation. My self-criticism lessened when I realized that, and I made some changes. hope that help. |
Anonymous
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You are SO not alone. I only have one todder, and there are days I just want to "give up" and it occurs to me, there is no giving up.
My son is a talker. Talk, talk, talk. But he is also shy. I actually take him to public places when I need a break, because I know it will buy me a few moments of kid silence (I do take him to places he wants to go - indoor play places, parks, the pet store). And I remind myself daily that he is just a kid, and not actually TRYING to drive me insane. Honestly, I think you are saint if you have two little ones and haven't yet hung the signs on their neck. I know I offered my son to the neighbors. They had no interest 
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Sabray
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Member Offline
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It's called motherhood/parenthood.
WELCOME to the realization that it is not all hugs, kisses and flowers. The good news is, once this challenge is over another one will just begin. How you deal with it and grow from the experiences with your children make you the parent you are. |
Anonymous
| I could have written your post, word for word. My kids are also 2 and 4 and my DH was also away this weekend. You're definitely not alone. |
Anonymous
| op, can you take a personal day this week and just relax? have lunch and go to a movie? i did that about a month ago. i had been hoarding all of my sick/vacation because i feel like i have to have it in case something goes wrong with the kids. but i took that day and it was great! |
Anonymous
Definitely not alone. Our kids are 3 and 1, we both work full time and I feel exhausted all the time. The only thing that upsets me about this post is that I thought it was supposed to get easier once the child turns 4 - not harder! 
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Anonymous
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I was beginning to wonder when I had written this post, until I realized that it wasn't me I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old as well and I am just about to go crazy. I kept myself going with the prospect of a potential job offer (I am a SAHM) but that fell through this morning, so now I am just holding on until the weather gets warmer. This just stinks sometimes. But then my kids manage to make me laugh and I am okay for that moment. Gotta live for the moments, right?
Let's hang in there, I guess that's about all I can say right now 
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Anonymous
| I could have written your post too. I am exactly like you. Mine are 3 and 1. And unfortunately we do not have the disposible income to have someone come in and help out as much as the poster that said she is able to get lots of help. I'm envious of that. No advice OP, just sympathy. Trust that it gets better. |
Anonymous
| Single parent here of one DD. I feel exhausted 80% of the time so I know what you are talking about. The only thing that works for me is to bite the bullet and go to bed early. I hate going to bed early b/c I feel like I go to bed an hour or so after my DD which means I have no life. But I decided that I needed the sleep to be a happier and more relaxed mom in the am. Take a whole day to yourself and do fun things you like to do. I get to do this a few times a year and it works wonders. |
Anonymous
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In addition to the wonderful suggestions you've already received, I wonder if you've considered seing a counselor or psychiatrist. It sounds like you may be exhibiting some signs of depression (you mention being on the verge of tears all the time).
Another idea is to try yoga, meditation, etc. I find those to be very grounding physically and spiritually. Just wanted to throw out some additional thoughts. Hang in there! |
Anonymous
OP here!! FYI... therapist on speed dial and Quantum Pilates in Dupont Circle. Done it ALL. My 4 yo is just wearing me the heck out. It's like I don't know what to do with her. I'm sitting here in tears from all of the thoughtful and genuine responses. Thank you all SO very much. This made me feel less like a freak and more like a normal person who has hit a rough patch. FWIW... DD's are adorable, cute and all that stuff all of your kids are... They just know what buttons to press and when. DH is a great dude, but like most of them he takes his cues on parenting and planning activities from me. He is just passive aggressive by nature so as they say... "your limitations are essentially your strengths in overdrive." So when I need him to take the bull by the horns, he's sitting there like, "huh, what do I do?" But when I am my usual type a, over-caffeined self he is the voice of reason and a calming force that I cannot live without. He is who I need and want him to be 90% of the time. No complaints here. (except the 10% when I want a divorce :wink
I really needed to hear these things. I feel so much better knowing that others are struggling with the same issues. Thank you all again. We are all sisters in the struggle indeed. Big hugs and blowing kisses!!!!! |