What's happened to manners?

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[Post New]02/11/2009 09:51
Anonymous
Some of us do ASK! And it still gets you nowhere.
[Post New]02/11/2009 10:05
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
another thing that irks me is people sitting in the metro seats directly adjacent to where the spaces are reserved for strollers and wheelchairs when there are clearly seats in the middle sections of the train. it's rude whether it's cluelessness or thoughtlessness or outright laziness/selfishness.


Do you mean the first seats that come right after the elderly/disabled seats? If that's what you're talking about, I admit to always sitting there when I can. It's not cluelessness or thoughtlessness, it's so it's easier to get out at Metro center in a very crowded car at rush hour. If Metro ran an etiquette campaign asking people to sit in the middle seats first, I would consider that, but this is the first time I've ever heard anyone complain about this.

Generally I think it's very important to be sensitive about the elderly/disabled seats (I'm the pp who was on crutches) but if there are no signs or metro announcements telling me to sit in the middle seats first I don't know why I shouldn't have the right to sit where I want.

Also, I should emphasize that when I'm standing I always move away from the doors. It's just the sitting issue which is new to me.
[Post New]02/11/2009 11:59
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong decade. People these days are very rude and I only by the 'fog' theory for some. I'm VERY pregnant at this point and have NEVER had a white man offer me his seat. I don't know why that is but it really is true in my own experience that it's typically other women. I even saw a man standing next to a seat and resting his bag on it and he was so apalled when I asked him if I could use the seat. He wasn't even sitting there! Why he thought his bag needed it more than me, I'll never know but I am very petite and 9 months so there's no question I'm pregnant. I had a white guy that was sitting down and he actually pushed the movable handrail towards me and sat back down. Gee thanks pal, like that makes a difference! I would definitely make my child stand for someone else, especially if I had a boy. I think it's important to teach them what it means to be a gentleman. At what age they should start learning that, I'm not really sure how early is too early.


I never had any man, black, white or Asian, give me a seat while I was pregnant. Older women were even worse. Mostly, the only people who ever offered me a seat were attractive women in their twenties and thirties (maybe a few in their forties). It was very interesting.

In NY, however, men always offered me a seat on the train. Not sure why DC is so much worse.



[Post New]02/11/2009 12:48
Anonymous
I remember being almost 9 months pregnant, HUGE, swollen ankles, high BP, diabetic, the whole thing, and NOBODY would give me a seat. I hear comments from people like, "Pregnancy is not a disability... it's a choice". Finally a very, very old woman gave me her seat because she was getting off at the next stop. It was awful.
[Post New]02/11/2009 12:56
Anonymous
God this thread reminds me of why I love my husband so much. He'd be the first to do anything for anyone. The least of which is offering a seat...
[Post New]02/11/2009 13:00
Anonymous
I was about 8-9 months pregnant and few people gave up their seats for me. The ones who did were young college age women, not the young guys.

When I was in Latin America, for young and old men alike, they have a knee jerk reaction to getting up when they see an elderly person getting on the bus. The men get up and offer their seats pronto. Proper manners are no longer taught en masse in the US.
[Post New]02/11/2009 13:00
zumbamama
Member Offline
I read an article about a common problem on the Tokyo metro - women being groped in tightly packed cars. That, I've experienced once on the DC metro. ick!
[Post New]02/11/2009 13:05
Anonymous
Question for everyone:
I try to notice if there are any pregnant women standing when I am seated in the elderly/disabled seats but sometimes it's hard to tell whether a woman is pregnant or obese.

I mean, I'm a woman in my 50s. If I got up to give my seat to a young woman who might just be overweight, I'd feel stupid. But then I suppose it's better to err on the side of being polite than to worry about feeling stupid.

What do you all do about this?
[Post New]02/11/2009 13:10
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Question for everyone:
I try to notice if there are any pregnant women standing when I am seated in the elderly/disabled seats but sometimes it's hard to tell whether a woman is pregnant or obese.

I mean, I'm a woman in my 50s. If I got up to give my seat to a young woman who might just be overweight, I'd feel stupid. But then I suppose it's better to err on the side of being polite than to worry about feeling stupid.

What do you all do about this?


Good point, since I'm in the camp that you don't mention a person's pregnancy unless she herself confirms first. Too many women carry weight in a way that makes them look pregnant, when they are really not.

However, a truly obese person might have difficulty standing for long periods of time, too.

I think it would be a judgment call -- does the person look haggard, struggling, awkward, or just "something" that makes you think offering a seat would be a welcomed gesture? And if not, at least you erred on the side of trying to be kind.
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