Forum Index
»
Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
What's happened to manners?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
sanding up yourself instead of making your child move will only teach them that SOMEONE ELSE WILL DO IT.
they'll grow up to think that someone else should give up their seat. |
Anonymous
|
OP here again. Sorry to PPs, I didn't mean to come across as snide.
With respect to the elderly, for whom seats are specifically reserved on a train, most come from backgrounds that suggest they shouldn't have to ask. When you look old, you generally are old, and you deserve the seat reserved for you on the Metro. I remind you, my mother was actually walking with her cane. I can actually see the point with the PP who said one who might give up the seat might feel rude for assuming that someone is disabled. The point isn't as valid as when we are talking about a pregnant woman, though. I am saddened by thought that we just don't care. I do understand that some kids are just too young to stand. So put them on your lap and offer the seat. But let's change the scenario. Let's say it's you and your 8 y.o. And two elderly folks need seats. Would you only give up one seat? As for a child getting tired after 30 minutes of standing, it's your choice to make if you give up your seat or theirs, but I'd bet that 30 minutes of standing on the Metro would cause my mother significantly more issues than your child standing for 30 minutes and maybe remembering doing a good polite thing. |
Anonymous
|
They should stand in front of the seats that are clearly marked as being designated for the eldery or disabled, and ask for those seats. If you choose to sit in those seats and are not elderly or disabled, then you should be on the look out for people to give your seat up to. If I am sitting in a non-elderly seat and am "in the fog" as someone else put it, I'm sorry...I'm reading my book, I'm not going to look up every 30 seconds to see if someone needs a seat during rush hour.
Also, I only offer my seat to a pregnant women if she is so far pregnant that her belly looks like it is going to pop. Otherwise, I keep my mouth shut. I've been burned more than once assuming someone was pregnant when they weren't. |
Anonymous
I think that when the "kids" are over 10, they learn a valuable lesson by being the one to give up their seat. They learn that the world doesn't revolve around them and "manners." If the parent stands up, the kid goes on with their feeling of entitlement and obliviousness to those around him. My four year old knows that we give up seats to the elderly, pregnant, or sick. She will get up herself, which often shames fogged and wolf-raised business types into standing. She's also shamed the same types out of using the elevator by speaking very loudly about how the person with the wheelchair should get to go in first. |
Anonymous
|
I ride public transportation very often with my students and I ask them to give up their seats.
Yes, manners have disappeared. |
Anonymous
|
I've been mistaken/embarrassed before for offering my seat to someone who I thought was elderly. The woman I offered the seat to looked hurt that I thought she was elderly. Same thing with pregnant woman. You have to be damn sure that she's pregnant first.
|
zumbamama
Site Admin Offline
Site Admin Offline
So true! That's why I generally stand unless its pretty empty or I'm exhausted. But yes, people are rude or just in their own worlds not paying attention to others who may need a seat more than them. My dad had a stroke and was scooting around with a walker on the metro...no one gave up their seat for him. |
Anonymous
Tourists also give up their seats more quickly! There were some mornings, when I was pregnant in the middle of summer, that I preferred to stand because it was cooler that way, and people would INSIST that I take their seat. |
Anonymous
|
Someone posted this already but I had to laugh - when I was pregnant, it was women and black males who offered me the seat or held open a door. The white males were the worst! DC has a lot of overgrown frat boys.
I admit that I'm (fairly) young and fit but typically sit on the Metro and zone out. If I notice someone who should be sitting, of course I get up but I am usually absorbed in my book. I do try to notice who is getting on the train though. But, as a woman I think those young dudes should be the first to get up anyway. Not to hijack the thread but speaking of manners, I have noticed that people in this city DO NOT cover their mouth when they cough. I've yet to say anything, I usually just glare, but one of these days I will snap. |
Anonymous
| My mother made me give up my seat for older people (this was on the Boston MTA). I still remember the first time, I think I was about 8 and I felt so good doing it because that's how my mother framed it for me. Soon it became a game for me to spot someone whenever I was on board who I felt needed a seat and I would practically scream down the trolley, would you like my seat! You know, children love to be useful. That's the avenue I will take when my child is old enough to give up her seat to an older person, that she is doing a good deed, and I think she will enjoy doing it as much as I did. |
Anonymous
| Lets think about it this way. The person in the seat paid the same fare as you. WHY should they have to give up their seat for you? I may be tired I could have stood myself for the past 10 stops before you got on, hell I could be handicapped myself and you don't know it but assume you see a healthy person being mean because they are not jumping up offering their seat, that they paid for. It works both ways. |
Anonymous
When I was pregnant, people were more than generous in offering me seats. On the other hand, I have offered seats to senior citizens and people who look like I needed a seat. Though I use a very polite and low-key tone, I have been snapped at. One guy said "Do I look like I need a seat?" So maybe people don't want to make assumptions. I think if they need the seat they should ask. And you never know if the people sitting need the seat too. I remember in my first trimester I was seriously ill and often on the verge of vomiting on metro. But I didn't look pregnant! Please don't assume. |
Anonymous
come on... the sign is clear THESE SEAT MUST BE AVAILABLE FOR SUCH SUCH AND SUCH PASSENGERS. people now a days lost the sense of altruism. |
Anonymous
I have a hard time believing this post is serious. (Not being snarky.) You truly believe that just because you paid the same fare and might also be tired, that an able-bodied person shouldn't give up his/her seat to a heavily pregnant woman, disabled person, or elderly person?? |
Anonymous
|
I'm a PP who would stand up before asking my child to stand up. To be clear, I would make my child stand up with me if two seats were needed. I just meant that if one person needs to give up her seat, I'd stand up and offer mine before I'd nudge Junior and make him do it.
And I disagree that if one seat is needed and I'm the one who stands up that I am teaching my children that others will offer and they don't have to. I still believe that doing it myself as an example is more powerful than simply making them do it. If I sit there while I force my child to stand, they learn only that a child must cede to an adult. If they see me routinely offer a seat to someone in need, they will learn that that's just the nice thing to do. |