Daughter's friend got a tattoo - she is in 11th grade
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Anonymous
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My daugter became close friends with this girl last year. She seems on the ball - a little quirky, but good head on her shoulders. I met her parents once and they are rough around the edges, both of them have several tattoos. Daughter seems quite the opposite of her parents.
I was surprised to find out that the mother took her daughter out of school today (day 3) to go and get tattoos. I know, none of my business, but I don't know why it is bothering me so much. I feel like the mom may have influenced her kid or maybe I just wished she was as "perfect" as I made her out to be. My daughter, of course, is interested in joining the bandwagon and I am trying to doscourage her or at least delay this decision until she is older. I hear the other girl's 2 younger sisters (one of them is in 2nd grade) want tattoos. I am not a huge fan of tattoos (can you tell?) especially those acquired in the name of fashion or to express yourself when you are just too young to even know yourself! Why do I feel this is just wrong! |
Anonymous
Personally, wouldn't get a tattoo, or maybe I would. Having said that, I know some pretty intelligent, well traveled and successful people with tattoos, and motorcycles
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Anonymous
| For all intents and purposes, this is a decision that is permanent. Why would anyone think a 16 year old is ready for such a decision? When she's on her own, fine. But until then, no permanent ink on the body. |
Anonymous
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I thought you couldn't get a tattoo before age 18?
I doubt the mom influenced her - an 11th-grader can have pretty strong opinions about things. I wanted a tattoo since I was 18, and had the chance to get one then, but I couldn't decide what I wanted. So I waited a bunch of years, kind of forgot about it, and then friends suggested we all get tattoos for our 35th birthdays and I said, "I'm in!" I love my tattoo. It's in a place you can't see when I'm wearing clothes. I have a graduate degree in something conservative and I work in a conservative field. Many people I know have them. If my daughter wants one when she's older, she can get one when she's 18, but I won't pull her out of school. |
Anonymous
16- eh. I had many piercings on my ears at that point. I don't see the big deal. |
Anonymous
| Trashy. The only statement you are making is that you are a follower. |
Anonymous
| Your daughter's friend is a loser. Her parents are bigger losers. Hope your daughter stays classy and not permanently disfigure her body. |
Anonymous
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I got a tattoo when I was 18, and while I am not crazy about it (truthfully, I was never crazy about it -- I desperately wanted a tattoo and chickened out at the parlor and got something much smaller than what I really wanted), I have absolutely no regrets. whenever I see it, it reminds me of an great time I had with my high school girlfriends (we all got inked that day) and of a time in my life that was carefree and adventurous.
Fwiw, tattoos tend to be painful and not that cheap, so unless your child is a total sheep, you probably don't have to worry about someone talking her into getting one...but if she really wants one, you probably can't talk her out of it either. |
Anonymous
| I don't know of any legitimate tattoo parlor that will take someone under 18. |
Anonymous
I don't know either. You're not the mother, your daughter isn't the daughter, it's none of your business -- as you say. |
ThatSmileyFaceGuy
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Maryland's health regulations refer to tattooing and piercing as "Skin-Penetrating Body Adornment Procedures" (this excludes piercing of the earlobe). Tattoo artists are required to inform the client of the risks for the tattoo procedure, and must obtain the client's consent in writing. If the client is under the age of 18, their parent or guardian must sign the consent instead. The parlor is then required to keep this consent document for at least 3 years, along with the client's name, the date, a description of the procedure, and the artist's name who performed it. Virginia - Prohibits anyone from tattooing or performing body piercing on a person under age 18, knowing or having reason to believe that the person is under 18 except in the presence of the person's parent or guardian or when done by or under the supervision of a medical doctor, registered nurse, or other medical services personnel in the performance of their duties |
Anonymous
With a parent's permission and presence, yes they will. "No, we don't want your money." Said no business ever. |
Anonymous
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OP i get where you are coming from but understand that all of us as parent pick our battles. I know parents who allow their kids to do things that I would not but by the same token there are some things I allow my kids to do that others would not. For example I know a kid who was allowed to get a belly piercing not by cup of tea but OTOH I've allowed my middle-schooler to watch all episodes of Orange is the New Black. As kids get older you tend to see parents taking different stances on things - some you will agree with, others you will not. When these situations occur, I just remind my kids of our family's limits.
I think the key is not to judge. It sounds like your DD's friend is generally a good kid. If they have a positive relationship it's probably fine. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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"DD, I know you think it's cool, but I do not support you getting a tattoo. Under 18, you need parental permission to get a tattoo safely and I will not give that permission. After 18, you are allowed to make your own choices, but I hope that you will consider the permanent nature of this choice very carefully."
Do not trash talk your daughter's friend, and please stop assuming that doing something that is clearly not a problem in her family means that she's a loser/not perfect/etc. I have several tattoos, none of which have in any way hampered my ability to "have a good head on my shoulders" or be successful professionally, academically, socially, etc. |