Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Actual, you know, science shows that the divorce rate plummets the older a couple is when they marry and the more educated they are.

Sorry Rush.


divorce rate isn't a very good indicator.

I would hypothesize that older and more educated couples have more 'marriages of power/convenience' as well as open-marriages/understandings or swinging, etc.

They have more to lose when breaking up the marriage (assets, social capital, etc.)


Better educated people are also more tenacious, have more resources (mentally and financially) to power through tough times, and are more likely to think through the implications of rash decisions.

Divorce rates might not be great indicators of fidelity, but they are better than anything else you have--including pure speculation.


Wealthier and more powerful (and presumably better educated) men cheat more - the statistics prove this. Their wives are more likely to look the other way because they don't want to lose their homes and status and have to go out and get a job.

There's simply too much to lose.

So they don't divorce. And it messes up their children who grow up having no idea of what a healthy relationship looks like. I see it every day.

Unfortunately, people like you get very smug when they look superficially at statistics. Also, no statistics prove your speculative point that educated people are more tenacious. This simply isn't true in today's world. By and large, people are better educated because they have more financial resources - provided by their parents.

Anonymous
Your whole point, OP, seems to be that cheating now is easier than before, therefore people divorce more.

First of all, all your points, including availability of cellphones and women working, would apply to either blue collar or white collar people. So I fail to see why college-educated people are more likely to divorce than someone working in a factory or service industry.

Second - you have a pretty low opinion of the human race, don't you? I don't cheat not because I don't have opportunity (being a working woman with a cellphone and all, and considered conventionally attractive by people), but because I find it morally wrong and because I love my husband and don't want anyone else. Oh, and I also don't want to divorce him because I love him.

Shockingly, I am not the only one who loves his/her partner and wants to stick with them and/or finds cheating repugnant. Is divorce common? Sure. Almost unaviodable? No.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Your whole point, OP, seems to be that cheating now is easier than before, therefore people divorce more.

First of all, all your points, including availability of cellphones and women working, would apply to either blue collar or white collar people. So I fail to see why college-educated people are more likely to divorce than someone working in a factory or service industry.

Second - you have a pretty low opinion of the human race, don't you? I don't cheat not because I don't have opportunity (being a working woman with a cellphone and all, and considered conventionally attractive by people), but because I find it morally wrong and because I love my husband and don't want anyone else. Oh, and I also don't want to divorce him because I love him.

Shockingly, I am not the only one who loves his/her partner and wants to stick with them and/or finds cheating repugnant. Is divorce common? Sure. Almost unaviodable? No.


+1
Anonymous
If I cared or had the time I could easily refute every one of these points. Really out there post....
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Your whole point, OP, seems to be that cheating now is easier than before, therefore people divorce more.

First of all, all your points, including availability of cellphones and women working, would apply to either blue collar or white collar people. So I fail to see why college-educated people are more likely to divorce than someone working in a factory or service industry.

Second - you have a pretty low opinion of the human race, don't you? I don't cheat not because I don't have opportunity (being a working woman with a cellphone and all, and considered conventionally attractive by people), but because I find it morally wrong and because I love my husband and don't want anyone else. Oh, and I also don't want to divorce him because I love him.

Shockingly, I am not the only one who loves his/her partner and wants to stick with them and/or finds cheating repugnant. Is divorce common? Sure. Almost unaviodable? No.


No, I love my wife and could technically do all kinds of things (try to meet women at bars, hire a call girl, etc.), but why would I want to hurt someone who has so much trust in me? Someone I took a vow with?
Anonymous
OP's #1 is actually true.
Anonymous
People realize as they get older that always chasing the next best thing will not make you happy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Older people tell me there is nothing new under the sun. Things that used to be hushed up 50 years ago are now out in the open. Things used to go unspoken, unacknowledged. Now people just face reality, whether it's the existence of strip clubs or gays or infidelity or premarital sex.

The only thing different now is women's economic progress enables them in some cases to leave or overcome intolerable situations. Whereas in the past, they were stuck.


I'm 50, female, married to my first husband. I am not faithful, nor am I interested in divorce. I'm not alone.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The late 1940's-mid 1970's were an anomaly in American life as the US was enjoying the postwar economic boom.


This is the one part of your entire moronic screed with even a grain of truth. I guess that's the secret of big lies: the best ones have partial truth in them.

The Ward Cleaver/Donna Reed lifestyle was celebrated with the wife at home while the husband worked and a station wagon was in the driveway.


...and this is where we go sailing off into culture/cold-warrior MRA fantasy and idiocy.

The truth is that the higher your education level, the more likely you are to have a marriage that succeeds. Why engage in rhetorical garbage when you have facts at hand...from the Bureau of Labor Statistics:



As you can see, the lower educational (and economic) groups have much higher divorce rates. And as for your little tidbit about marrying right out of college, here's a lovely picture of the divorce rate as a function of age at the time of marriage (ie, getting married younger vs. delaying marriage until older):



The clear answer is that divorce isn't inevitable for anybody, but it's much less likely the higher your level of education (ie, women get college and graduate degrees too and have their heads filled with Women's Lib ideas in Liberal Ivory White Tower enclaves for several extra years instead of getting knocked up by cletus and dropping out of community college).

You're a moron full of psuedo-scientific assertions intended to support an MRA view of wives as breeding chattel, mostly because you have a small member and are insecure that someone bigger is gonna come along and take her off your hands.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Older people tell me there is nothing new under the sun. Things that used to be hushed up 50 years ago are now out in the open. Things used to go unspoken, unacknowledged. Now people just face reality, whether it's the existence of strip clubs or gays or infidelity or premarital sex.

The only thing different now is women's economic progress enables them in some cases to leave or overcome intolerable situations. Whereas in the past, they were stuck.


I'm 50, female, married to my first husband. I am not faithful, nor am I interested in divorce. I'm not alone.


Does your husband know? Why are you not faithful?
dominiquey73
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Anonymous
My wife cheated, and we found a way to put our marriage back on track. I would agree with the OP's original post on several points. First, the information age and technology definitely makes it easier to cheat, and to communicate with another person outside marriage. Making something more accessible (especially something that can take over emotionally) increases the likelihood of its occurrence.

Second, since we live in VA, the no fault divorce was not an option for DW. When she saw what the road of an at fault divorce was going to be for her, both financially and in terms of publicity (court filings), she was much more amenable to working on our marriage. It has been difficult, but this higher barrier to divorce definitely gave us time to work things out. I am glad for that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My wife cheated, and we found a way to put our marriage back on track. I would agree with the OP's original post on several points. First, the information age and technology definitely makes it easier to cheat, and to communicate with another person outside marriage. Making something more accessible (especially something that can take over emotionally) increases the likelihood of its occurrence.

Second, since we live in VA, the no fault divorce was not an option for DW. When she saw what the road of an at fault divorce was going to be for her, both financially and in terms of publicity (court filings), she was much more amenable to working on our marriage. It has been difficult, but this higher barrier to divorce definitely gave us time to work things out. I am glad for that.


if you don't have kids, why would you take back a deceitful woman who wanted to be penetrated by another man?

remember, she is a depreciating asset - men that have their shit together appreciate.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The late 1940's-mid 1970's were an anomaly in American life as the US was enjoying the postwar economic boom.


This is the one part of your entire moronic screed with even a grain of truth. I guess that's the secret of big lies: the best ones have partial truth in them.

The Ward Cleaver/Donna Reed lifestyle was celebrated with the wife at home while the husband worked and a station wagon was in the driveway.


...and this is where we go sailing off into culture/cold-warrior MRA fantasy and idiocy.

The truth is that the higher your education level, the more likely you are to have a marriage that succeeds. Why engage in rhetorical garbage when you have facts at hand...from the Bureau of Labor Statistics:



As you can see, the lower educational (and economic) groups have much higher divorce rates. And as for your little tidbit about marrying right out of college, here's a lovely picture of the divorce rate as a function of age at the time of marriage (ie, getting married younger vs. delaying marriage until older):



The clear answer is that divorce isn't inevitable for anybody, but it's much less likely the higher your level of education (ie, women get college and graduate degrees too and have their heads filled with Women's Lib ideas in Liberal Ivory White Tower enclaves for several extra years instead of getting knocked up by cletus and dropping out of community college).

You're a moron full of psuedo-scientific assertions intended to support an MRA view of wives as breeding chattel, mostly because you have a small member and are insecure that someone bigger is gonna come along and take her off your hands.


and your whole spiel is useless because divorce =/= fidelity.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My wife cheated, and we found a way to put our marriage back on track. I would agree with the OP's original post on several points. First, the information age and technology definitely makes it easier to cheat, and to communicate with another person outside marriage. Making something more accessible (especially something that can take over emotionally) increases the likelihood of its occurrence.

Second, since we live in VA, the no fault divorce was not an option for DW. When she saw what the road of an at fault divorce was going to be for her, both financially and in terms of publicity (court filings), she was much more amenable to working on our marriage. It has been difficult, but this higher barrier to divorce definitely gave us time to work things out. I am glad for that.


if you don't have kids, why would you take back a deceitful woman who wanted to be penetrated by another man?

remember, she is a depreciating asset - men that have their shit together appreciate.


Should have been more clear. The reason I wanted to save the marriage was because we have two young children. I come from broken home, and my siblings and I are still feeling the negative effects of our parents split. I think the no fault divorce makes it way to easy for one partner to unilaterally dissolve a marriage with kids too often overlooked as "adaptable" or "flexible" to the change. Sure, some marriages are not worth saving under any circumstances, but in my view, the kids are the number one priority and we should give it all we can, even if it is heavy handed in the process, to make it work. In today's world marriage should be taken more seriously and dating a lot less.
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