Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met my DH at work. We have a great marriage, 9 years.

Alpha

What does that mean? He's bigger and stronger than the other males? He is on the short side, but taller than I am and he was over weight, but has sexy arms

I read that statistically, most people in modern times meet their spouses through work.

We were both single.

ed

This happened to me. The dynamic is that you spend more time at work than anywhere else plus to some degree it is a pre-selected group.

[Anonymous]

My spouse and I met at work. We were in college working at Bennigans. 20 years later still strong. I work and slightly out earn him working 35hrs a week. I have never had an affair. We actually hardly even argue.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're living in a fact free world.

Divorce rates are much lower for more educated couples.

About 30% of married couples with college educations divorce. About 50% of married couples with high school educations divorce.

http://stats.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/article/marriage-and-divorce-patterns-by-gender-race-and-educational-attainment.htm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a veiled misogynistic rant.

Disagree.

The misogyny isn't "veiled" at all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actual, you know, science shows that the divorce rate plummets the older a couple is when they marry and the more educated they are.

Sorry Rush.

divorce rate isn't a very good indicator.

I would hypothesize that older and more educated couples have more 'marriages of power/convenience' as well as open-marriages/understandings or swinging, etc.

They have more to lose when breaking up the marriage (assets, social capital, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actual, you know, science shows that the divorce rate plummets the older a couple is when they marry and the more educated they are.

Sorry Rush.

divorce rate isn't a very good indicator.

I would hypothesize that older and more educated couples have more 'marriages of power/convenience' as well as open-marriages/understandings or swinging, etc.

They have more to lose when breaking up the marriage (assets, social capital, etc.)

Better educated people are also more tenacious, have more resources (mentally and financially) to power through tough times, and are more likely to think through the implications of rash decisions.

Divorce rates might not be great indicators of fidelity, but they are better than anything else you have--including pure speculation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a veiled misogynistic rant.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you had done any real research, you would have found that divorce rates are significantly lower for college-educated people than for those with less education.

Oh so plus 1. Check the actual research, OP.

This. Moving on...

[Anonymous]

Citations, or it didn't happen.

I'm going to speculate that OP is under the age of 25. The lack of understanding about relationships is astounding.

OP, please consider that people grow and learn as they make their way through life. A relationship when you're 19 is not like a relationship at 40. It's not a convenient marriage. The ones who are secure in their relationship make it look almost effortless.

Cheaters step out for a myriad of reasons. There were cheaters hundreds of years ago. Like everything, the internet just makes it easier for anyone to see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actual, you know, science shows that the divorce rate plummets the older a couple is when they marry and the more educated they are.

Sorry Rush.

divorce rate isn't a very good indicator.

I would hypothesize that older and more educated couples have more 'marriages of power/convenience' as well as open-marriages/understandings or swinging, etc.

They have more to lose when breaking up the marriage (assets, social capital, etc.)

Could see this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh actually the data shows that college graduates are more likely to get married AND to stay married than any other group.

The divorce rate has actually dropped and is highest among a small subset of people who unfortunately seem to divorce more than once. The more worrying problem, from an economic health standpoint is the overall marriage rate has dropped.

I see public intellectual type articles all the time wondering how to export this success more widely across society where less people are getting married overall. the Atlantic runs pieces on these subjects regularly.

But maybe divorce rates are going down because fewer people are getting married, meaning people who don't want marriage and monogamy are just opting out, as opposed to prior eras where people felt pressured to marry even if it wasn't what they wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actual, you know, science shows that the divorce rate plummets the older a couple is when they marry and the more educated they are.

Sorry Rush.

divorce rate isn't a very good indicator.

I would hypothesize that older and more educated couples have more 'marriages of power/convenience' as well as open-marriages/understandings or swinging, etc.

They have more to lose when breaking up the marriage (assets, social capital, etc.)

I agree that you can't assume a lower divorce rate means less infidelity. Not by a long shot.

I don't know if there's more fidelity now than some other period of time. I wouldn't assume there is less just because there is less divorce. You really need a separate study, but it would rely heavily on self-reporting, so I'm not sure that you could even get an accurate picture of the fidelity/infidelity landscape.

[Anonymous]

Older people tell me there is nothing new under the sun. Things that used to be hushed up 50 years ago are now out in the open. Things used to go unspoken, unacknowledged. Now people just face reality, whether it's the existence of strip clubs or gays or infidelity or premarital sex.

The only thing different now is women's economic progress enables them in some cases to leave or overcome intolerable situations. Whereas in the past, they were stuck.

[Anonymous]

Why do I get the feeling OP is a high school student and this is an odd homework assignment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do I get the feeling OP is a high school student and this is an odd homework assignment?

The first time I read the OP, I thought "definitely under 25."