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Husbands helping with diaper change and feeding
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Anonymous
| My Dh does about half of the diaper changes, I do most of the feedings because DD is in daycare so I like the extra cuddling time with her when I get home or in the morning. DH prepares her bottles and clothes for daycare and drops off and picks up DD every day. |
Anonymous
| One thing I've learned is not to wait or expect that my husband will automatically jump in. It just doesn't occur to him. What I have to do is ask him and then he'll do it no problem. When he is home, he is in charge of the bedtime routine from start to finish and if he tries to slack I remind him that it is his "quality" time and he rises to the occasion. |
Anonymous
| I would not have married my husband if I had an inkling that he wouldn't split stuff 50/50 - that goes for household chores (before the baby came) as well. He already had his own house and was used to doing laundry , cooking, chores, etc. It is even more important to share the work now that we have a child. When one of us is bathing our son the other one prepares his lunch for next day at daycare. When I was pumping, my husband washed the bottles and prepped them for the next day while I got son ready for bed, etc. |
Anonymous
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Well, it is not 50/50 but he is close. But, he is not super inclined to do it. Had I been a different type of woman and let him do nothing he probably would do very little. But, I can leave him with the baby for hours at a time. He can bathe, dress, feed and diaper. So, I shouldn't complain, I have heard of much worse husbands and of course some really fantastic ones too.
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zumbamama
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| we split almost everything 50/50, but DH sleeps like a log, so all the night feedings were up to me. I'm so glad that stage is long gone! |
Anonymous
| Yep - about 50/50. But I don't think of it as "helping" because he is doing his job as a parent (just like I'm not "helping" him by doing half of the work). Or maybe we're both just helping the baby. |
Anonymous
My husband and I split all baby-related activities. Like a PP, although I'm breastfeeding for most of the feedings, he participates there as well (washing the pumping stuff, burping the baby, changing the baby mid-feed, whatever). I agree that the rhetoric of "helping" is not applicable or useful - she's our daughter, so we are both equally responsible for whatever needs to be done. 
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Anonymous
| Yes, we are both full-time working parents. During the week, I take most of the responsibility because my job is more flexible and allows me to be home by 5:30 and he does not typically get home until 7-7:30, after DS goes down. On the weekends, it is 50/50 in theory but in practice I end up doing 60-70 % of things but I am okay with that. |
Anonymous
| yes. On the weekends we do every other feeding. I stay home with our son, and he's working, so he does all the feedings when he gets home from work until the last feeding at 11:00 pm. I take over doing the feedings throughout the night since he goes to work and needs his sleep. The diaper changing is about even too. |
Anonymous
| My DH helps whenever he is home. He is on a big project at work with 12-14 hour days, seven days a week (thankfully ending this Friday) and he has been so sad to be away from DD. When home, we bathe her together, he changes her, I BF. He has always been happy to get up with her, change and being her to me in the middle of the night. He says that there are two parents and he wants to help. I am a SAHM of one infant fwiw. |
Anonymous
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50/50 if not more. I do alot of the planning, playgroups, etc. He does a lot of the diapers and feedings (she was bottle fed but long past that now). There was no choice in the matter.
He woudl say "the baby needs to be changed" and I'd say "ok, let me know if you have a problem." Plus, we talked about it ahead of time and it was not acceptable for him NOT to participate. |
Anonymous
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Yep, my husband is a huge help. We sometimes fight over who will get to put our 11 month old to sleep.
Hey, new Moms. time to train your husband now! I also have a 3 1/2 year old and my husband has been incredible (I am a working Mom) from the start. He genuinely loves to be with our kids. But I also helped by, from the very beginning, including him in the day to day tasks. I am very clear in what I need him to do -- please don't assume he will know. My husband has always felt very involved and appreciated. And there is no doubt that our kids don't see the difference in Mommy and Daddy tasks. It helps I am sure that we are older parent, but still . . . |
Anonymous
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Yes. We sometimes play "rock paper scissors" for the diaper changes .
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Anonymous
can I say how much I hate the term "help," as though he's doing me a favor 
My husband changes diapers as necessary and we don't worry about splitting that duty at all - he laughs about this because before DD was born four years ago, he swore he would never change a diaper - the idea really disgusted him. After seeing me go through 30+ hours of labor, he changed her first diaper, and now changes #2's diapers without me even asking. Now, as for other duties, like laundry ... don't even get me started  
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Anonymous
| When I was nursing a newborn, my philosophy was "I take care of what goes in, you take care of what comes out." |