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My DD is VERY different from me - anyone else?
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Anonymous
| Does anyone else have a child with a very different personality than their own? I am a first-born, parent-pleasing, rule following introvert who loved puzzles, the game concentration and other problem-solving games. My 4yo DD is #2 and is a "spirited", limit-testing, extroverted social butterfly who loves dress-up and snacks. She is terrific and wonderful, but at times I'm not sure how to relate to her. Am I alone feeling this way? |
Anonymous
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Absolutely. I actually posted about it a while ago. See here - http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/27906.page#174495
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Anonymous
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I have a similar dynamic. I'm shy, introverted, and needs lots of alone time. DS is outgoing, social, and always needs to be on the go. I spent my childhood reading and playing games. DS CAN read, but doesn't really see the point. DS isn't much like his dad either, but seems to resemble his father's brother. The one his mother said "nearly killed her" with his constant energy. IO know the feeling.
All I can say is, parenthood teaches you things, you just don't know what you are going to learn when you start. I have had to become a different person in order to meet my son halfway in terms of his temperament. |
Anonymous
| Yes, I have a dear DS who is very different. It just used to drain me completely and I realized I wasn't being the parent he needed me to be. I went to therapy, took parenting classes, read many different books. I still make sure to actively parent him. It hasn't been at all natural, but definitely very worth it. |
Anonymous
| My DD and my husband are opposite personalities. He's adventuresome; she's cautious and reluctant to try new things. It drives him nuts and causes parenting arguments: He wants to push her "not be a coward." I think it's more important to protect her sense of safety. (He says I coddle her.) Sigh...it's not easy. |
zumbamama
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| Yes. DS is like me, and DD is like her dad. DS is optimistic, hardly ever gets mad and looks at the bright side of things. DD is a drama queen, gets frustrated easily at minor things and takes a lot to calm her down. |
Anonymous
My children are different than myself and my DH. Wait until they are older and then also might have divergent interests where the pursuit takes up a great portion of your life. |
Anonymous
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each child is a different individual.
learn to appreciate that. why she has to be a copy of yourself? |
Anonymous
That's not what OP said. She asked if anyone could relate. In no part of her question did she say she was upset that he daughter was not an exact copy of herself. I can't stand when people read into the post, or don't even seem to actually read the post. |
Anonymous
| I can't relate. My daughter is exactly like me. I never realized it til I read your post, though. Weird. |
Anonymous
| Actually this is reassuring. It reminds me that not every problem dd has was caused by my "bad" parenting. Sometimes it's just a matter of a different temperament or different circumstances. |
Anonymous
My kids are an interesting jumble of my husband and me. And we are pretty similar in some ways, too. It's actually a little weird because I think, "Oh this one is just like me," but then she does something that is not me, and it always surprises me. When they are somewhat like you, I think it can be a struggle not to identify too much or expect them to do what you would do. If mine were more different, I guess that part would be easier, but then I probably would have no idea what to do with them. 
OP, the fact that you are thinking about this and concerned about it convinces me that you are an amazing mom and you will figure this out! 
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Anonymous
| My oldest daughter (6) is nothing like me. And it is difficult at times. I love her and respect her individuality, but it is not always easy for me or her. I have found it to be getting easier as she gets older. My youngest (4) is a mini-me. It's weird. |