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Sudden dilemma: daycare center or nanny? (offered a spot at center)
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Anonymous
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I know there have posts on this before, but I still hope people are willing to help with advice.
We are unexpectedly offered a spot in a corporate child care center after being on the waitlist for over 1.5 years. To address our child care needs, we hired a nanny a year ago and she has been very sweet and caring to our DS who seems to like her a lot. Besides the dilemma of possibly having to fire our nanny (with of course a decent 'settlement package' and help to find her a new job) and finding it extremely hard to do this to someone, I decided that I will take a decision based on what I think is best for development of our DS. This is where I am looking for advice / other people's experiences. Have you switched from a nanny to a daycare center when your child was a young toddler and did you think it was the right decision? Or did you have any regrets? Is there such a thing as the right age for a child care center? Our DS is 15 months, and is a very active and energetic little fellow, with quite an outgoing personality, and sometimes already a bit moody and stubborn and who always seems to be interested in meeting other people, other kids and especially their toys. Just to say that so far he is certainly not shy. He would be in daycare 4 days a week from around 9 AM to 5:30 PM. The corporate child care center involved is considered to be of good quality, I was told by other parents. Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts. |
pacimom
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| I have had 2 DC in daycare, mainly since I didn't want to deal with headaches of a nanny. My friends with nannies have very bright and interactive kids. I don't think a DS will suffer developmentally if you have a good nanny at home. If the nanny is sweet, reliable, and your child is exposed to other kids for interaction, playdates, etc., then no worries. A ratio of 1:1 at home is better than 1:4 in DC IMHP. |
Anonymous
Learning to listen to teachers is prime and activities such as art projects are priceless at daycares |
Anonymous
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Keep the nanny, as good ones are hard to come by and you benefit by keeping your little one in a familiar environment.
In terms of "learning to listen to teachers is prime and activities such as art projects are priceless at daycares ," once your child hits the preschool, you can enroll him in a 2-day preschool, which, if it's got a solid reputation, cannot be compared to a daycare situation. Preschool and daycares are significantly different. And since he's only 15 months, he can still learn the basics of listening and following directions under the guidance of your nanny. Furthermore, I don't know if you're planning on a second, but if you are, a nanny is what you'll need, as you'll never be guaranteed another slot at the corporate childcare center. |
Anonymous
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Love my day care. Can't say enough good things about it. Of course, it costs $20k a year, but my child is just super-happy and is learning far more than he would if I were teaching him at home, I'm sure.
Having said that, at 15 months, I'd be inclined to stick with the nanny a bit longer if the situation is working well for all of you. Day care slots become much easier to find after 2 years old, so you will have more flexibility soon if you need it. |
Anonymous
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We had the exact same situation a couple of years ago. We had a great nanny but then, my first choice day care suddenly became available and my child was roughly the same age as yours. My primary concern was that my ds wouldn't be able to nap well at the daycare - he was a difficult napper to begin with and so I didn't want to change the routine on him. And over all, I felt that one-on-one care was best. Plus, our nanny was really sweet. Another reason for sticking with the nanny was that I was planning on having another baby and wanted to retain our nanny for then.
But fast forward 2 years later and still no baby #2. Part of me wishes that I had enrolled my ds in daycare when I had the chance. Now he's in a part time preschool (which is really fantastic) and also with the nanny the rest of the time. It's been great for him all around - but, boy, very costly for us - paying a fulltime nanny and also paying for preschool tuition. Something to consider. |
Anonymous
| To one of the previous posters who said " a solid pre-school cannot be compared to daycare" -- Most daycares have a pre-school program once kids turn 3. Yes, they're there all day, but it's a pre-school curriculum, circle time, art projects, etc. the same as a private pre-school. So don't let that info sway you. Parents with kids who've "graduated" from our daycare said their kids were more than ready for kindergarten (we're at a Bright Horizons). |
Anonymous
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I moved my child from a nanny to a full day pre-school program at age 2.
I went with a nanny (share) initially becasue: 1. Daycare was not an optnio as we were on waitlists 2. I liked that my child would not be as sick during his 1st year 3. I liked the one on one attention that my child received. He developed an attention span for reading books that I do not belive could have been developed while in a daycare situaiotn. We received a similar call at around 15 months for a daycare that a spot had opened up. We decided to stay with what we had since things were working so nicely with the share that we had. By age 2 my child needed more stimulation and interaction and that is when the share disolved and both children moved to pre-school programs. I love the program that he is in and I am thrilled with his development. Something to think about as we enter cold and flu season is your flexibility to take off for sick days. |
Anonymous
| In a similar position, I went with my head when my gut told me to do the exact opposite. I regretted it. Since then, my advice and practice has been to follow my instinct. I'm a good mom, who knows what is best for my children and family. You must intuitively have some idea which arrangement will work best for you, your child, and your family. Do that and trust yourself. |
Anonymous
| I think the best option would be the environment in which your child has the opportunity to establish a meaningful connection with an adult caregiver. That could be the nanny or the daycare provider depending on your judgment. As a proponent of attachment parenting, I personally think socialization with peers should not be a consideration at his age. |
Anonymous
I agree and I am not necessarily well read about attachment parenting. One on one care at this age is the ideal for most kids so if the nanny is good w/ your child, keep her. |
Anonymous
How are attachment parenting and peer socialization at odds here? |
Anonymous
Actually most daycare prioritize siblings which basically guarantees a slot. At ours there are a number of older kids in the "preschool" part of the daycare with a baby sibling in the infant room. We're actually running 3 of them to daycare (at different stages) and it's working out fine. All 3 have hit milestones (walking, talking, etc) on the early side and although I know that doesn't mean much in the long term, it also means that daycare has not hinder their growth/development. My advice to OP is to go with what you think works best. Some kids probably prefer 1:1 care in a familar settting. And illnesses are a problem in a daycare setting. Daycare worked best for us since our boys seem to thrive being around their peers. In addition our home is small and downtown so if we had a nanny at home there would be limited running around room for the kids (which IMO becomes important at around 18 months) so I think a big part of why our kids have loved daycare is that it has provided another (and larger) "space" for them to play. And, we don't live in an area w/too many other kids at home during the weekday so weekday playdates as a way to socialize are hard to come by. If you live in a large house in the burbs or in an area with tons of young kids you are probably don't have those considerations to worry about. |
Anonymous
| I know that it is not your primary concern, but costs could be another factor. A full-time nanny tends to be far more expensive than a full-time daycare center. I know that the service level is of course different. It will be quite costly if you will combine a nanny with a (part-time) pre-school in a year or so. |
Anonymous
I HIGHLY recommend reading "Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers" by Gordon Neufeld. It has completely changed my perspective on parenting. |