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Minorities at Private School
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Anonymous
| This is a tough question: If your child has been accepted into a private school that traditionally has few minorities, how do you find out how many minorities will be in your child's class before deciding to go there? We are African American and fear that our child could end up being the only one at some schools. |
Anonymous
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Why make race or being a minority such a big deal?
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Anonymous
| they probably won't know the exact number until everyone else accepts but they could let you know once people start replying. i think if it is important for you to know then that is a valid question to ask. i'm sure you are not the first person to ask that sort of question. good luck. |
Anonymous
| they can probably tell you how many were accepted (and how many applied), even if they do not yet know how many will attend. at least that will give you some parameters. i think it's a fair question to ask. |
Anonymous
| Thanks |
Anonymous
| Just wanted to also add that I think it's a valid question to ask. |
Anonymous
Unfortunately it can become a big deal. Esp. if your child is the ooonly one in that class or school. |
Anonymous
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WE are a mixed couple (me black and DH white) and we have a mixed race son. Last year he was the only one in his class at private school (a small montessori) . It is only a big deal if YOU make it one. I can honestly say it made NO difference. He did not notice and never mentioned it. He is completely color blind at the moment as are all his pals. He made friends with everyone, the teachers treated him wonderfully and wrote an excellent recommendation for him for the school he now attends - one of the best in DC -which I think contributed to his acceptance. Neither he nor I had any problems with the parents of his pals and DH and I have remained very good friends with some of them. This year in his new school there are two other mixed race kids and one black in his class and we are experiencing the same dynamic. Unless all the people we have met so far are very good actors or I am extremely naive (a distinct possibility) we have not experienced any problems.
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Anonymous
| PP Do you mind sharing where your DS is in school? |
Anonymous
I think whether it's a big deal depends on the child, both in terms of temperament and gender. Last year our son was in a private school where he was one of two African Americans in his class. (The other child was a girl). There were no other ethnic minorities in the class. He has had absolutely no issues at all making friends, and has never felt different. This year, he's still the only African American boy. I'm not sure that he's even aware. If he is, it certainly doesn't bother him. On the other hand, our daughter is very perceptive and very much aware that she is the only African American kid. She talks about why she doesn't have white skin and "long hair", which for her means hair that is loose/down versus in a braid or two. Of course, this is an opportunity to teach about differences and beauty in all shapes/sizes/colors/etc. However, it's hard for her at times. I'm surprised that even at her young age, self-esteem/confidence can be impacted by the absence of others around you that look like you. |
Anonymous
I also think that it is an indicator of whether the school actually values diversity, which is something that would be important to me personally. |
Anonymous
| I think that the gender thing matters. We are also biracial, but we have a daughter. There have been problems at school with other girls related to the princess thing (thanks Disney). I am glad that the pp has had good experiences, but don't assume that because things have been good for you that others have had the same experience, especially the girls. |
Anonymous
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I'm also a parent of a bi-racial child, and I just wanted to respond that I think its naive to believe that race is only an issue "if you make it one".
It makes it sound like parents of minorities who worry about diversity and race are bad parents who are making an issue out of thin air. While I don't believe its an issue that anyone wants to have define his or her existence, unfortunately the whole world is not as color-blind as we might like. Its a fair question OP. I would share your concerns, and I think its appropriate to ask the school. |
Anonymous
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Its a simple truth - race matters! This does not mean that you should obsess about it or let it limit what you do but to pretend that it is not an issue is not just naive it is dishonest and will only serve to compound the issue. It is totally valid to question the ethnic make-up of a school (public or private) and it would be a red flag to me if the school was not willing to talk openly about it. Op, talk to the school. They will not be able to tell you how many people of color will be enrolled but they will be able to say how many offers were extended and you will be able to extrapolate from there.
Kudos to you for thinking about your child's emotional well being. |
zumbamama
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| Isn't racial demographic information public information? I don't know about private schools, but every school my kids have gone to in VA or TX, the racial breakdown is easily accessible online on school reports, the school district's website, etc. My son is one of two "brown" kids in the class and although part of me wishes it were more diverse, I'm still confident he will have a good experience there. Being one of the few minorities can give him a little perspective and also learn how not to get hung up on physical differences. |