If your marriage was like a drivers license would you renew it?

post reply Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
[Post New]08/27/2013 12:15
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:44, M, Yes.. But only because of the kids. There are the love of my life and I don't want to screw them up. If we did have kids I would have ended many years ago.


You do realize this type of set up you have now is also screwing up your kids.


I realize that, but it would be better for them to have me in their daily life.
[Post New]08/27/2013 12:18
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Anonymous
To the poster who states that divorcing after the kids leave for college messes with their head, what would you say is a better option? I don't see myself with my husband long term, for so many reasons. Right now, we're staying together, since the kids are 5 and under. With 3 kids, when is the "best" time to divorce, if there is such a time?
[Post New]08/27/2013 12:27
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Anonymous
Yes, of course. Have you been single recently. That's no bargain either.
[Post New]08/27/2013 12:29
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Anonymous
41, female, yes
[Post New]08/27/2013 12:35
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Anonymous
Widow here. Fate and luck decided this for me. No interest in "driving" ever again.
[Post New]08/27/2013 13:22
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Anonymous
38, female, yes. I really lucked out on this one, so much so that I'm always worried something bad is going to happen to one of us.
[Post New]08/27/2013 13:44
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Anonymous
30 F, married 10 years. Yes I would renew, although there have been points in my marriage when the answer would of been a definite no. We have been through alot and have fought through it all without giving up on each other. I don't regret a second of my marriage and I hope it lasts for the long haul.
[Post New]08/27/2013 13:50
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:To the poster who states that divorcing after the kids leave for college messes with their head, what would you say is a better option? I don't see myself with my husband long term, for so many reasons. Right now, we're staying together, since the kids are 5 and under. With 3 kids, when is the "best" time to divorce, if there is such a time?


Now. Because then they'll grow up with two houses/families as their "normal" and it won't seem weird to them. You wait until college and it fucks with their head. I'm serious. Like me, many of my friends' parents divorced when they were in the, oh, 8-12 age bracket. Kids that age can still adjust, but it can be harder for some than others. But I have a couple whose parents divorced when they were in their late teens/early 20s and it ROCKED them- for a couple reasons. 1, the life they have known for SO long is now gone. 2. They question everything they thought about marriage, i.e. "I thought my parents were happy... if they weren't, who is?" 3. The parents now see their kids as adults and confide stuff in them about the other parent/the relationship/the divorce that they really should not. 4. They now have to adjust to a new "normal" at an already tumultuous age.

Really, if you know you're going to divorce, just do it when they're young. They will never remember fighting or animosity or resentment between parents, they'll grow up going between two houses and it won't seem strange, and they might get some really cool step/half family members out of the deal.
[Post New]08/27/2013 13:55
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Anonymous
Depressing thread. I'm not sure in would stay in a marriage if either my DH or I were miserable. That can't possibly be healthy for you or the kids.

My answer- Yes. 47. Married 26 years.
[Post New]08/27/2013 13:56
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Anonymous
44, yes married for 25 good years (maybe 3 total were not so great) and at that point it would have been a no but we rebounded and things are good again..

I don' think its depressing, think is very enlightening.
[Post New]08/27/2013 14:05
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Anonymous
Female, 43, YES! After 12 years as a committed couple and 4 years of marriage, I've never met anyone (male or female) that I love and like more or would rather spend time with. It is far from perfect, but I feel incredibly lucky to walk through life with him.
[Post New]08/27/2013 14:24
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:To the poster who states that divorcing after the kids leave for college messes with their head, what would you say is a better option? I don't see myself with my husband long term, for so many reasons. Right now, we're staying together, since the kids are 5 and under. With 3 kids, when is the "best" time to divorce, if there is such a time?


Now. Because then they'll grow up with two houses/families as their "normal" and it won't seem weird to them. You wait until college and it fucks with their head. I'm serious. Like me, many of my friends' parents divorced when they were in the, oh, 8-12 age bracket. Kids that age can still adjust, but it can be harder for some than others. But I have a couple whose parents divorced when they were in their late teens/early 20s and it ROCKED them- for a couple reasons. 1, the life they have known for SO long is now gone. 2. They question everything they thought about marriage, i.e. "I thought my parents were happy... if they weren't, who is?" 3. The parents now see their kids as adults and confide stuff in them about the other parent/the relationship/the divorce that they really should not. 4. They now have to adjust to a new "normal" at an already tumultuous age.

Really, if you know you're going to divorce, just do it when they're young. They will never remember fighting or animosity or resentment between parents, they'll grow up going between two houses and it won't seem strange, and they might get some really cool step/half family members out of the deal.


I can appreciate your point, but the reality of divorcing now would mean that my kids would have to move, go to new school and would not see their dad every night. I would properly be happier in a new relationship, but my DW might get even more depressed which would hurt the home life of my kids.
[Post New]08/27/2013 14:32
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Anonymous
No- I'm biding my time, waiting for a better moment to divorce. 47, female, together for almost 25 years. tween-aged child.
[Post New]08/27/2013 14:37
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Anonymous
46, Male, and yes. My wife maintains herself and is right for my social circle. Doesn't matter as I have had a mistress for 5 years. Don't like her much either but she's young, great body, gives good head, and makes me laugh. Marriage is for the woman who is your social equal.
[Post New]08/27/2013 15:56
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polychromatic
Member

Offline
38 m Yes

But it hasn't always been the case.

This concept of renewing a marriage is a good one. Especially to those that don't have kids.

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