Reply to If your marriage was like a drivers license would you renew it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To the poster who states that divorcing after the kids leave for college messes with their head, what would you say is a better option? I don't see myself with my husband long term, for so many reasons. Right now, we're staying together, since the kids are 5 and under. With 3 kids, when is the "best" time to divorce, if there is such a time?[/quote]

Now. Because then they'll grow up with two houses/families as their "normal" and it won't seem weird to them. You wait until college and it fucks with their head. I'm serious. Like me, many of my friends' parents divorced when they were in the, oh, 8-12 age bracket. Kids that age can still adjust, but it can be harder for some than others. But I have a couple whose parents divorced when they were in their late teens/early 20s and it ROCKED them- for a couple reasons. 1, the life they have known for SO long is now gone. 2. They question everything they thought about marriage, i.e. "I thought my parents were happy... if they weren't, who is?" 3. The parents now see their kids as adults and confide stuff in them about the other parent/the relationship/the divorce that they really should not. 4. They now have to adjust to a new "normal" at an already tumultuous age.

Really, if you know you're going to divorce, just do it when they're young. They will never remember fighting or animosity or resentment between parents, they'll grow up going between two houses and it won't seem strange, and they might get some really cool step/half family members out of the deal. [/quote]

I can appreciate your point, but the reality of divorcing now would mean that my kids would have to move, go to new school and would not see their dad every night. I would properly be happier in a new relationship, but my DW might get even more depressed which would hurt the home life of my kids.  [/quote]

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