"friend" came clean

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[Post New]02/26/2013 12:24
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Anonymous
You need healing. Let him go. Find fresh friends.
[Post New]02/26/2013 12:38
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Anonymous
OP, you are done with this guy. No more phone calls, nothing. If you start to feel like you want to call him, come here immediately and we will help steel you against it!!
[Post New]02/26/2013 13:07
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ThatSmileyFaceGuy
Member Offline
so he came clean after they exchanged numbers which means it finally got past the "Hey, how ya doin, sure is cold out today" part of talking and have moved on to something else.

You don't know any guy that you talk to on a regular basis only because you are in the same place at the same time regularly?
[Post New]02/27/2013 00:44
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Anonymous
OP here. I thank you all for your replies. Today has been hard for me. I stayed home from work and cried all day long. Literally. I don't think I realized the emotional hell I have been putting myself through since we broke up. I know I said I didn't want to date him, and I guess I am now upset and hurt that I let someone use me sexually because I still had feelings. I did this to myself. I broke my own spirit.
Yes, he lied, he shouldn't have. But had I stuck to my guns and not had sex with him, this would just be a bump in the road for me right now instead of the massive sinking hot lava pit that I have been going through today.
He says they are just friends. I don't really care at this point. I have to let go and be better to myself. Thank you for your humbling replies.
[Post New]02/27/2013 08:55
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I thank you all for your replies. Today has been hard for me. I stayed home from work and cried all day long. Literally. I don't think I realized the emotional hell I have been putting myself through since we broke up. I know I said I didn't want to date him, and I guess I am now upset and hurt that I let someone use me sexually because I still had feelings. I did this to myself. I broke my own spirit.
Yes, he lied, he shouldn't have. But had I stuck to my guns and not had sex with him, this would just be a bump in the road for me right now instead of the massive sinking hot lava pit that I have been going through today.
He says they are just friends. I don't really care at this point. I have to let go and be better to myself. Thank you for your humbling replies.


And this too shall pass.
[Post New]02/27/2013 15:29
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Anonymous
What did he lie to you about? Was he really supposed to tell you about people he sees on the bus and talks to?
[Post New]02/27/2013 16:01
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I thank you all for your replies. Today has been hard for me. I stayed home from work and cried all day long. Literally. I don't think I realized the emotional hell I have been putting myself through since we broke up. I know I said I didn't want to date him, and I guess I am now upset and hurt that I let someone use me sexually because I still had feelings. I did this to myself. I broke my own spirit.
Yes, he lied, he shouldn't have. But had I stuck to my guns and not had sex with him, this would just be a bump in the road for me right now instead of the massive sinking hot lava pit that I have been going through today.
He says they are just friends. I don't really care at this point. I have to let go and be better to myself. Thank you for your humbling replies.
OP, you sound like you've learned a lot from this. I hope you can take solace in that and have enough faith in yourself so that you don't let yourself get in this kind of no-win type of relationship again. Walk away from this douche bag and work on healing. It can get better! Good luck!
[Post New]02/28/2013 14:55
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Anonymous
My opinions here…
First recognize the fact that “He is your Ex”; you broke up for a reason…
Second get into therapy … now…
And last, I just heard about a book that you need to get (I will try to paste a link);
“How to fall out of love” By Debora Phillips & Robert Judd
http://books.google.com/books/about/How_to_fall_out_of_love.html?id=B_x2cbQyzsEC
[Post New]02/28/2013 15:09
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Anonymous
OP, It's easy to rationalize the fact that you are sleeping with someone who doesn't love you by telling yourself a variety of excuses about why he isn't ready to commit. The bottom line is that he liked you enough to fuck you and he is lonely too. However, if he wanted to be in a the relationship that you know you want, he would. Men are simple creatures. Don't read anything into any of it. You were using each other for comfort. Accept the facts and find someone who is crazy about you near your house. Stop giving him emotional support. Lose his number. It's the only way to really grow some self respect back...BTDT!
[Post New]02/28/2013 16:49
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Anonymous
If you were fucking him you were not friends. Or if you want to be friends, which is difficult to just be with men while single, then you don't fuck him. It's really quite simple.
[Post New]03/01/2013 11:33
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Anonymous
OP, the lying issue is not so much him lying to you about some random girl, the issue is your relationship is a "lie".
[Post New]03/01/2013 13:44
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Anonymous
Hey - just wanted to say sorry. I've had long protracted breakups, too, that came at awful times. They don't leave you in great shape. It does sound like he was an ass, you weren't quite done, and now that he's met someone he likes you're really processing the breakup.

Be nice to yourself for a while, OP. Remember: you broke up for good reasons. You want something he doesn't want. Even if you have great chemistry and a complicated history, you want things that he can't give you.

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