Catastrophic thoughts about my children
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Anonymous
| I am occasionally plagued with worries about my kids' well-being - to the point that i vividlyimagine something terrible happening like DD falling and hitting her head and becoming unconscious, or a car colliding into the rear of mine and seriously injuring my kids...awful feeling. It doesn't help that we were recently involved in a car accident (though were all fine). I have a vivid imagination and an anxious nature. Anyone else go through this? It's not constant, and I can usually shake it off, but I don't know if it's a normal part of parenthood or if it's time to see a therapist. |
Anonymous
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how often do these thoughts occur?
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FBO
Member Location: NoVA
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Having the thoughts are normal. What you need to be aware of is how you REACT to those thoughts. Are you overprotective of them? Do you stifle them? Do you keep them socially unavailable to others in fear? Or do you just worry? Worry is normal. If I didnt worry like that I wouldnt be a very good father. But I also know that I worry, and MOST things are simply out of my control no matter what I do, or how vigilant I may be. Those things, I stop worrying about. Just my 2cents. |
Anonymous
| Any chance you're on hormonal bc? I was, and it was like this. Went off, and I'm NORMAL now. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
OP here - sometimes once a week, sometimes once a month. Prior to the car accident it was much less, though I have always been on the overprotective side. |
Anonymous
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Yes, this happens to me as well. It's horrible.
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Anonymous
| I actually think this is normal and I'm surprised to hear other people say it's not. I have never found another parent who has never had the thought crossing their mind of horrible things happening to their children. Find me that parent, and I'd say there is something wrong with THEM. |
FBO
Member Location: NoVA
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Member Location: NoVA
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This. Thoughts are just thoughts until they turn into actions. |
Anonymous
| Normal. Happens to me about once a week or so -- vivid images of exactly these type of events (crossing the street with the stroller, a car comes speeding around the corner and WHAM!) I do my best to shake it off. |
Anonymous
| PP here -- FYI, this happens to my DH too. We figure it's just a side effect of being slightly anxious, Type A parents, and are vigilant about not letting these "flashes" turn us into overprotective parents. |
Anonymous
| OP - these types of thoughts are called intrusive thoughts and they are often linked to depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder. These are very common in women, particularly post partum, but they can emerge at any time. Occasional worries and anxiety about your kids' well being is totally normal, but the kind of visions you're describing, especially if they start to limit your behavior and/or become a source of constant worry and apprehension warrants a talk with a therapist. By the way, virtually every woman I know has had these at one time or another - so you're certainly not alone. But if it starts to feel oppressive or you feel like you're afraid to do certain things (leave the house, walk down stairs, let your children play outside, drive in the car, etc) then certainly see a doctor. You may find it a tremendous relief. |
Anonymous
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Yes, I feel this way and think about these things too...and I think I am normal. I do make a conscious effort to stop the thoughts though...I try to visualize myself or my children doing something fun, or I break on into song (which I am sure is funny to see, but it works!) or recite a favorite quote (or if I am with my kids, I say the words to a favorite story book)...anything to redirect my mind.
Worry is misuse of the imagination. |
Anonymous
| OP here - thank you all, for the very thoughtful and helpful feedback! |
Anonymous
| Totally normal, IMO, as long as they stay in the realm of thoughts only. In addition to the car accident ones I also have terrible imaginations of finding out I have an incurable disease and my kids will be left alone, etc. It is definitely one of the downsides to having an active and vivid imagination, and to considering all possibilities and trying to be prepared for whatever life throws at you. |