I CAN'T BREATH
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Anonymous
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I am married for 5 years. My wife is my dream girl & I love her so much that I gave up everything just to be with her. Since we started dating, everything was fine until we finally decided to get married. I have so many friends (esp. Girls) and it's purely platonic. I love giving pieces of advice to people that's why my friends treasures me a lot.
The problem is now is my wife.....She was terrible! Here are some of the instances that I never thought would happen. 1. I invited my friends to have a couple of drinks with my wife. One of my girlfriends is undeniably pretty. The drinking session went fine until we're all drunk. My wife suddenly got jealous because I was sitting beside my friend. My wife started arguing with my friend. Everyone got shocked when my wife flipped the round table bec. of her jealousy. 2. There was a time when me & my wife had a vacation in CA at my HS buddy's house. everything went well until my wife got jealous with my buddy's wife. She started arguing with me that I am attracted to my buddy's wife. I feel like my life is in total control. I love her so much that I even followed her here in the United States. (BTW, we're Asian couple). We have 2 kids & I can't afford to lose them. I followed her here (she got a working visa) to save our family. I love my friends so I decided to create a facebook account just to at least reach them in ASIA. My smart wife found out about my FB account that I hid from her. She is so furious & is now accusing me of having an affair with another woman. I cannot afford to lose my friends knowing that my wife will destroy them again. I created that private FB account to secure my friend's connections. What am I suppose to do.My wife thinks I am flirting with others that's why I created that account? i honestly want to separate her from my friends who are also very important to me. My wife wants to open my FB. I don't want to lose her, my kids & our marriage.PLS help!!!! |
Anonymous
| too many females in your life, cut them out and life will be easier. |
Anonymous
I agree. And the first female to cut from the team should be your spouse. Your friends aren't asking you to choose between them and her, right? She's the problem. Her irrational jealousy and your friendly nature are never going to be compatible. So do yourself a favor and work out a way to split that does the least damage to the kids. It's either that or spend the rest of your life being untrue to yourself. |
Anonymous
| I think you need a lover. Preferably a man. |
Anonymous
| Your wife needs therapy, but you should not have secret accounts. Her jealousy sounds out of control, but I cannot tell whether you are actually flirting with these other women or not. So cool it down with the female friends while you get your wife to start looking at what is driving her behaviors. Tell her your marriage depends on that. You can show her how innocent your FB is by letting her look around. That reassures her that you are not cheating while forcing her to acknowledge that she is letting her insecurities drive her crazy. |
Anonymous
| You have secret accounts (and likely other things) and you call hot girls your "girlfriends?". Respect your marraige and it might last. |
TheManWithAUsername
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Your wife has serious problems. Either leave her or stop adjusting your behavior to accommodate her insanity.
If she can't socialize normally, stop visiting people with her. When she flips out in her jealousy, refuse to talk to her about it until she can calmly discuss it, and suggest that she go to therapy. Hiding things from her is just making the problem worse in every way. In short, stand up for yourself. BTW, it also sounds like you depend on the approval of women to a neurotic degree. You might want to think about that.
I have no idea what you meant by this. |
Anonymous
| you also cant spell |
Anonymous
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your wife is batshit crazy. she wasnt aware of all these "friends" prior to getting married?
if she knew, then its all on her to get over it. its not as if you should dump your "friends" the minute you guys got married. |
Anonymous
| The OP sounds like a woman. I think the problem in this thread is made up. |
Anonymous
| No, I really just can't breath. |
Anonymous
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Um, you know there's a thread on here from your wife, right? There is a post from a woman that doesn't trust her husband, saw he has a secret facebook page, a long distance female friend, etc etc.......
unless this is the wife also, pretending to be you for some reason... |
Anonymous
| OP- are you in high school? |
Anonymous
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Folks, ease up on the guy. He said he's Asian and followed his wife to the US. English is his second language. I've known many Asians who learned English as adults who communicate like this guy.
OP, you do need to simplify your life. Start by talking to your friends and taking a break for a few months. Let them know that once you get your life settled down again you'll be in touch again. Work with your wife. I would recommend counseling. Find out what she expects from you. For your side, you need to stop hiding things from her. You need to be open with her. Second, you need to adjust the way you interact with your female friends. If you go out as a group, you should sit next to your wife, not your friends. You need to make sure that your wife feels a part of the group rather than just sitting and watching you with your friends. Then you need to have her calm down and when something bothers her, she needs to talk with you calmly instead of just exploding and taking out her anger on others (like turning over the table). You each need to be able to make some changes, but you will probably need a counselor to help you, at least at first. |
Anonymous
| Counseling. She has irrational jealousy and it can ruin a marriage. Counseling. |