Making friends as an adult is so confusing
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suzu
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like on gap year, sometimes you meet someone & it clicks & you both know
sometimes people wanna use you - cause you have connections or your fam or your uni get out there talk to someone go into your address book call that person |
Anonymous
Wow, you have excellent social skills. 😬 |
Anonymous
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It's so hard!
I started my kids at a new school and I was tentatively making small talk with other moms. Meanwhile I saw a lady whose kids were also new and she's animatedly chatting every afternoon at pickup with a circle of women around her. I asked her "Did you know a lot of parents before you started? You sure seem like you already know everyone." And she laughed and said "No, I just make friends easily!" Sigh... I finally got to the point where I felt like I was really connecting with another mom and that I might have a new friend. But it turns out she's just got rizz and makes everyone feel that way...we're still just acquaintances! I finally, finally made a friend this year and our kids really love each other but she already told me they're moving this year. I kind of feel like it's been a waste. |
Anonymous
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I became more relaxed once I adopted this outlook on groups of people: a third are going to like me. A third are not going to like me. A third will have no opinion or reason to think of me. It has actually worked out this way. Explaining further and explaining why group dynamics are so difficult ~ each friend I have is going to like their own one-third. There can be no expectation that we fit best with the same people.
What I can control is to become more skilled at recognizing the personalities that mesh well with my own. |
Anonymous
Yeah, seriously. |
Anonymous
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I became the initiator. That way I could pick people I thought I’d like and just try to befriend them. If they are busy or uninterested I move on.
If they are busy and I really like them I just let them know I’m here to be friends if the pace of life changes at some point. Most people love feeling wanted so give it to them. |