Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To 17:43

Gosh, Kindercare opens at 6:30. Or do you not want a chain daycare? Your DH can't watch the kids between 6:30 am and whenever he leaves for work? Can you afford a nanny to come at 6:30 am so you can start work at 7 am?

Not 17:43, but can you give it a rest already? Not everyone has the same kind of job, the same career, the same hours, the same goals, the same family. People don't all want what you want and it's OKAY. It is none of your business.

Anonymous wrote:to 17:59 - she says she can't work because her career is inflexible. I gave her 3 ways she could work, possibly. I'd like to see her say she doesn't want to work enough to [fill in the blank - get the kids to daycare by 6:30, have her husband watch the kids from 6:30 until 8, use Kindercare or other chain daycare, pay for a nanny].

CAN'T work, or doesn't want to work, given all the facts and circumstances? I won't "give it a rest" until the poster in question admits she just doesn't want to get to work by 7 am each work day. That's not the fault of her job, her employer or society.

What am I saying that's crazy?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:to 17:59 - she says she can't work because her career is inflexible. I gave her 3 ways she could work, possibly. I'd like to see her say she doesn't want to work enough to [fill in the blank - get the kids to daycare by 6:30, have her husband watch the kids from 6:30 until 8, use Kindercare or other chain daycare, pay for a nanny].

CAN'T work, or doesn't want to work, given all the facts and circumstances? I won't "give it a rest" until the poster in question admits she just doesn't want to get to work by 7 am each work day. That's not the fault of her job, her employer or society.

What am I saying that's crazy?

You haven't explained the inherent virtue of working. We're gonna' need more than a "because I said so" from you. You've tried, but the only part of your argument that resonated for me was the significantly increased (because there are no guarantees in life) opportunity for financial independence. That's an external reward, and anyway if a SAHM has a high-earning, relatively secure, benevolent husband, she could easily turn down this opportunity. I am a WOHM with a string of degrees myself and enjoy my current position, but I really don't see how you can presume to insist that careers necessarily offer an avenue to fulfillment and that it requires no significant compromises of one's children. That's not true. This is damn hard and we've all had to make some hard choices. And every choice has negative consequences, whether you're blocking them out or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To 17:43

Gosh, Kindercare opens at 6:30. Or do you not want a chain daycare? Your DH can't watch the kids between 6:30 am and whenever he leaves for work? Can you afford a nanny to come at 6:30 am so you can start work at 7 am?

Not 17:43, but can you give it a rest already? Not everyone has the same kind of job, the same career, the same hours, the same goals, the same family. People don't all want what you want and it's OKAY. It is none of your business.

I think what we're seeing with PP who just won't let it go (however many times she hears other moms say no thanks) is that everyone has a drum to beat. We've stumbled upon PP's. I really want to resist half-assed attempts at psychoanalysis because I think they're so unlikely to be valid re. apparently bizarre anonymous forum behavior (that's assuming psychoanalysis is ever valid... another discussion), but it certainly seems like PP is so driven to argue that her own choices have been ideal because she's likely felt censure/guilt/etc. She ultimately sounds defensive to me.

I haven't really heard her convincingly explain why her life is better than everyone else's in a manner that is particularly relevant to my concerns. I think she's really written that she doesn't see why we don't all do what she has done because it is her strong opinion that everyone should do exactly as she has done and it's nice to have extra money to ensure financial independence. (Alright, that last one makes very good sense, assuming nothing important is lost by working full time or full time+ as a mother. It's not PC to say so, but I'm just not willing to grant her that point.) Maybe I missed the meat of her actual argument. I've been skimming and it wasn't all riveting. Not to mention that both my job and family responsibilities keep me too busy to luxuriate in DCUM as I might if I were a kept woman... On the other hand, if she's the same poster who confused education and job training, I think that explains my failure to appreciate her point of view. Maybe she merely learned to argue without learning to consider.

Anonymous wrote:To 18:21

"The people who want 9-5 can have 9-5, and people like me can fill the more flexible positions. There's a need for both.:

In some professions, you take a huge paycut to fill a more flexible position. To some people, it's worth it for the flexibility. It's never been worth it to me. As one poster said, I wouldn't get out of bed for only $150K a year though.

zumbamama wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To 18:21

"The people who want 9-5 can have 9-5, and people like me can fill the more flexible positions. There's a need for both.:

In some professions, you take a huge paycut to fill a more flexible position. To some people, it's worth it for the flexibility. It's never been worth it to me. As one poster said, I wouldn't get out of bed for only $150K a year though.

Yes, different strokes for different folks. I went into my field knowing I would never make $150K. I went into it because it's what I love and it's who I am. I'd have to entirely switch professions to make that much...and I'd make a pretty lousy lawyer, doctor, economist, etc. : )

Fortunately, I didn't take a paycut. I sought out the opportunity to make the same income in less time elsewhere. The flexibility is like an added bonus after 10 years in the corporate grind and a stepping stone to moving up in my other field.

Anonymous wrote:

zumbamama wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To 18:21

"The people who want 9-5 can have 9-5, and people like me can fill the more flexible positions. There's a need for both.:

In some professions, you take a huge paycut to fill a more flexible position. To some people, it's worth it for the flexibility. It's never been worth it to me. As one poster said, I wouldn't get out of bed for only $150K a year though.

Yes, different strokes for different folks. I went into my field knowing I would never make $150K. I went into it because it's what I love and it's who I am. I'd have to entirely switch professions to make that much...and I'd make a pretty lousy lawyer, doctor, economist, etc. : )

Fortunately, I didn't take a paycut. I sought out the opportunity to make the same income in less time elsewhere. The flexibility is like an added bonus after 10 years in the corporate grind and a stepping stone to moving up in my other field.

ZM I'm glad you found a flexible work option that works. You deserve it. And while I'm usually sarcastic, I mean that sentiment literally - you are a positive force and you deserve it - way to go!

Anonymous wrote:To 17:43

Gosh, Kindercare opens at 6:30. Or do you not want a chain daycare? Your DH can't watch the kids between 6:30 am and whenever he leaves for work? Can you afford a nanny to come at 6:30 am so you can start work at 7 am?